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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 year old in the morning

122 replies

themerrywifeofwindsor · 09/01/2022 07:03

AIBU to think that a 5 year old should be able to amuse themselves quietly in bed in the morning until its time to get up? DD has had a gro clock for years but she totally ignores it. Have bribed her this morning with a sticker chart to stay in bed, which she has done, but has made such a racket that she's woken everyone up anyway. She practically never stays in bed quietly until a reasonable time, she and DS who is nearly 3 tag team and if one of them doesn't wake me up at 5, the other does. It's really affecting how I feel about her as i get startled awake most days and usually start the day feeling pissed off with her Sad

OP posts:
rrhuth · 09/01/2022 07:06

Sorry but 5 is very young and I think yabu. And completely unrealistic.

QforCucumber · 09/01/2022 07:06

Ds1 is 5, he’s never been the type of kid to play in his room on a morning, when he’s awake he wants to go downstairs and have breakfast and be up, that means one of us is up too - anytime from 6am. It’s just one of those joys of parenting.

burnout88 · 09/01/2022 07:13

My 5yo is exactly the same since starting Year 1. We can't get her to stay in bed beyond 5-530am when she gets up and says she needs the loo. Sometimes she does, but sometimes it's a ploy. We've tried every technique going, stickers, grow clock, bribes etc and nothing seems to work. We're hoping she grows out of it.

Clickncollect · 09/01/2022 07:15

Sorry OP, no advice only solidarity. My DS is 5 and will not play quietly by himself either. The only positive is that me and DH take turns getting up with him each day and DS will sit and play snakes and ladders at the kitchen table with that parent so at least we get a chance to wake up a little!

Jinglebellsoncake · 09/01/2022 07:20

Are you able to bribe her somehow?
Sticker for every time she stays in need until the grow clock turns into a sunshine?

A prize when she gets 5 stickers?

My 5 year old doesn't get out of bed until the sunshine comes up on his grow clock. (Has done so since 3)

ffscovid · 09/01/2022 07:21

@rrhuth

Sorry but 5 is very young and I think yabu. And completely unrealistic.
I disagree. 5 is perfectly old enough to read a Gro clock (or normal clock) and stay in bed until it is time to get up. No lights on / playing in bed / reading until the 'sun' shows on the gro clock. Start by setting the (gro)clock to a time they normally wake. If they're up before then (even if only 1/2/5 minutes' early), gently remind them it's still night time and guide them back to bed. Minimal interaction and lights off. When the 'sun' shows, put on a cheery morning face (Smile) and let them get up and do whatever you are happy for them to do at the start of the day, whether that's just playing in the room or TV time / breakfast. Give lots of praise (and a sticker?) for staying in bed until morning. Once you've had a few days of success at that same time, set the clock 5-10 minutes later and so on until you reach a time that you find acceptable (probably not earlier than 6!). Gro clocks do work but you have to be strict about not letting children get up if they aren't showing that it's daytime. Moon = stay in bed, sun = get up. Always with no exceptions (unless ill, genuine nightmare, or need the loo).
Original poster
themerrywifeofwindsor · 09/01/2022 07:24

We started that a few days ago @Jinglebellsoncake, today is the first day that she's managed to get a sticker, and I didn't really think she should get it as she woke everyone up with all the noise!

OP posts:
Muchtoomuchtodo · 09/01/2022 07:36

Simply having a grow click isn’t enough At 5 she’s more than capable of staying in bed until the click changes colour. It just needs absolute consistency from you and your DH to get that established.
We had a different type of click that would turn green when it was time to get up
(7am in our case) and when we first got it the dc were returned to bed quietly, reminded that the click wasn’t green and it wasn’t ‘seven oh oh’
They soon got it and wound merrily skip in saying ‘click’s green’ or ‘it’s seven oh oh!’ When it was getting up time.
I love my sleep and this saved my sanity. It was a bit of work to start with it well worth it.

SmallElephant · 09/01/2022 07:38

How early are we talking, OP?

AllyBama · 09/01/2022 07:39

I think that YANBU to expect your 5 year old to be able to entertain themselves until a reasonable time in the morning but YABU to be take it personally and as you say have it affect how you feel about her. She’s 5, she’s not doing it to be malicious. That’s your problem, not hers and it’s not fair to take it out on her.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/01/2022 07:41

Just started my 4yr old on a gro clock- she will wait until it turns orange but she isn’t asleep or doing anything, she waits in her bed. I put a realistic time on it though, 6.45 school days and 7.10 weekends. What times are we talking about?

MalbecandToast · 09/01/2022 07:43

5am is a pretty standard wake up time for young children. Your child is 5 so you are still a year ot two away from when they get up and amuse themselves. It's crap but we just have to suck it up I'm afraid.

Original poster
themerrywifeofwindsor · 09/01/2022 07:45

@SmallElephant today it was about 5:30

OP posts:
fourandtwo · 09/01/2022 07:45

Would she listen to an audio book? Mine have a Yoto Player that is easily operated by the four year old. They pop a card in the top and it plays a story or song. It also works like a gro clock with a coloured light so they know they’re meant to be lying in bed and/or playing quietly until it goes green. You can set a volume limit on it so it wouldn’t be blasting loudly.

Chunkymonkey13 · 09/01/2022 07:46

We had a grow clock and just moved to a more big girl version as it had pretty lights that change colour but more of a clock. Still has a sun and moon but less obvious.

My 5 year old stays in bed until the sun come up at 7am. If they wake before they can read a book but they aren’t allowed to play with toys etc. most of the time this has worked

onlyreadingneverposting8 · 09/01/2022 07:46

It depends on how much sleep she's had. If it's 10 or more hours you're being unreasonable and need to adjust her bedtime to get her to sleep later (& this may not be possible if her body clock is just set for an early wake up).
Some parts of parenting are just shit and fortunately never last forever. If it's affecting how you feel about her I think you need to give your head a wobble and consider how you'd feel if she were seriously disabled or ill and reassess.

Dalooah · 09/01/2022 07:48

I think at 5 your DC should be ok to stay in bed/in their room and play quietly till it's time for everyone else to wake up. We have had similar issues with our 5 year old
However through consistency we have now sort of managed that most mornings we're all in bed till 7! 🎉.
I also think you need to provide some 'acceptable' AM activities that are quiet- maybe a sticker activity book/notebook and pencils/ and make it clear that DC must be quiet and not disturb anyone else who is awake- here if DC is being quiet anything in their room is allowed in the AM.
We are also quite 'strict' on breakfast time and know DC can manage to wait till 7.30 for breakfast so no one goes down before then.

Beansprout30 · 09/01/2022 07:49

I think at five she should be able to stay In bed or play quietly until a reasonable time. My five year old used to be an early riser but we also encouraged her to chill in bed with her teddies in the morning or play quietly. She’s amazing now and says she enjoys her quiet time before everyone wakes. We occasionally leave their tablets in their rooms (3 year old also) so they can watch them for a bit. Be firm and consistent and with her, let her play quietly but explain she needs to stay in her room until it’s light

Heronwatcher · 09/01/2022 07:53

At 5 and 3, no way. It would be lovely but never happened in my house. The only thing to do is tag team it (one person gets up at 5.30, goes back to bed at 6 when the other one gets up), or take it in turns, and get an early night (if you go to bed at 9/ 9.30 even for a few days a week it really helps).

Nomoreporridge872 · 09/01/2022 07:53

I completely understand. I couldn’t help feeling this way about my youngest when he was constantly waking at night. Honestly the sleep deprivation and early starts made me feel like I hated him. But I had to remind myself it wasn’t his fault and get on with it. I know your 5 year old is older than that but I do think some children just need company more than others and struggle to be alone more. 5 is still really little. My older one can be alone for half an hour after waking but I think at 5 my younger child is going to want company once he’s awake . Can you set the gro clock to, say 5.45, then after a week set it to 6? So it’s not such a long stretch alone at first

duckme · 09/01/2022 07:53

What time does she go to bed/sleep?
My son refuses to stay in bed last 6am on weekends but magically knows when it's a week day and likes a little lie in when he has to get up Hmm( we're talking 6:45am, do not actually a lie in really). He goes to bed at around 7 because he's exhausted after nursery. If he could stay up later without being miserable we would do this. Although that doesn't actually guarantee a lie in past 7:00. The only time we had a lie in was New Year's Day after a very late night.
He wants his breakfast as soon as he's awake so there's no chance of him playing for a while. However, occasionally he will sit and watch tv after eating which could mean back to sleep for us but, if it's my turn to get up with him, I'm awake and doing stuff so no point going back to bed. My husband manages it though.

Hedonism · 09/01/2022 07:54

Hmm. My ds was like this. I found it much easier when I managed to accept that that was just how it was, rather than starting each day with disappointment.

HalloHello · 09/01/2022 07:56

What noise is she making?

My nearly 4 year old sings her wee heart out until her sun comes up on the gro clock, but she'd never be loud enough to wake the whole house!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/01/2022 07:57

No way, I don’t do pre 6am with a 4 yr old- I have kept walking into her room and remind her we aren’t getting up yet.

Fridafever · 09/01/2022 07:58

With DS from around then we said he could turn his light on from 6am but not come and wake us until 7am. He’s 7 years old now and reads. At 5 he was more looking at pictures, he had some nice encyclopaedia type ones with animals and things. Or he’d just doze. We made a big deal of getting him a grown up reading light and pile of comics and things.