5 year old in the morning

[themerrywifeofwindsor]

AIBU to think that a 5 year old should be able to amuse themselves quietly in bed in the morning until its time to get up? DD has had a gro clock for years but she totally ignores it. Have bribed her this morning with a sticker chart to stay in bed, which she has done, but has made such a racket that she's woken everyone up anyway. She practically never stays in bed quietly until a reasonable time, she and DS who is nearly 3 tag team and if one of them doesn't wake me up at 5, the other does. It's really affecting how I feel about her as i get startled awake most days and usually start the day feeling pissed off with her

I think it's unfair to expect her to sleep in until later when you admit in your OP that she has a 3yo sibling who is also awake early and that they "tag team".

If she gets up early is she allowed to go downstairs and watch TV and have some breakfast? If she's asleep by 7.30pm I assume she eats around 6-ish so she must be starving when she wakes up.

I would try setting her up breakfast in the living room the night before - a bowl of cereal and some milk for her to pour, or a couple of those mini brioche or croissants to eat, and set the TV so she can pick between the kids channels.

I think YABU saying it affects how you feel about her. She’s 5, that’s young in my book. Be consistent with one of those clocks and reward regularly.

No too young, my 5 year old wouldn't do this, she'd want company and probably feel quite lonely until she'd seen one of us xx

We found the gro clock didn’t work for our youngest, who’s now 6. What did start to work was a basic alarm clock with the minutes side covered and a sticker on it and she wasn’t allowed up until they matched. Her clock is 30 mins slow as otherwise she is up at 5 and I am just not dealing with that!!! At 5 I would expect her to be able to be awake and quiet until the times matched. Good luck disturbed sleep is so depressing and exhausting!

Sorry now you mention the Fri clock actually I think 5 is old enough to stay in bed until a reasonable time to get up yes, sorry op I thought you'd meant 7am onwards xx

This is totally normal behaviour. Blaming a five year old is ridiculous.

I would advise going to bed earlier yourself

I already go to bed at 9-9:30, can't really go much earlier! After the kids stop fucking around at bedtime I eat dinner and deal with whatever admin that needs doing and it's generally nearly 9 by then. I also work full time.

I'm tired and fed up and rarely get any time to myself so I have very little patience. I wish I'd never had kids, I want my life back.

Mine gets the ipad. Much better start to the day all round. She's 5.5 and can go and put tv on herself.

Yep at 5 she needs to learn and they can do it, just takes a little time.
Mine has learned that she needs to stay in bed until the sun comes up on her gro clock and after that she needs to stay in her room being quiet but can play/use her kindle. Her sun comes up at 6:45, weekdays we're up at 7:10, weekends 8ish
It did take some bribing such as the threat of no tv/treats etc but it's worked, she generally gets her barbies out or her crayola magic pens (don't trust regular felt tips where i can't see them!)

Put them to bed bit later at weekends.. my 5 yr old and 2 yr old are still in bed now

@themerrywifeofwindsor

I already go to bed at 9-9:30, can't really go much earlier! After the kids stop fucking around at bedtime I eat dinner and deal with whatever admin that needs doing and it's generally nearly 9 by then. I also work full time.

I'm tired and fed up and rarely get any time to myself so I have very little patience. I wish I'd never had kids, I want my life back.

That's the real issue isn't it. Can your husband do more? Do you get any free /relaxing time on your own(working doesn't count)?

@themerrywifeofwindsor

I already go to bed at 9-9:30, can't really go much earlier! After the kids stop fucking around at bedtime I eat dinner and deal with whatever admin that needs doing and it's generally nearly 9 by then. I also work full time.

I'm tired and fed up and rarely get any time to myself so I have very little patience. I wish I'd never had kids, I want my life back.

I totally get this. Time to yourself, I mean. I too have an early riser and go to bed early.

But, if you're going to bed at 9:30, that's 8 hours of sleep.

I'm sorry you're so tired and fed up. Working full time and having kids is hard. Does your partner do an equal share?

My husband does loads, we're pretty equal. No, I don't get any free/relaxing time really. Rarely.

Muchtoomuchtodo I had a little smile at “ click”

Seriously, you're so stressed and tired that you say you wish you had never had kids but you flat out refuse to give her an iPad to occupy her? Stop being a martyr!

@themerrywifeofwindsor

My husband does loads, we're pretty equal. No, I don't get any free/relaxing time really. Rarely.

That's where you need to start. I assume he's around at the weekends at least? He can looks after his kids for a few hours while you get some time to yourself outside the house. Even better, he takes them out and you chill at home for a bit if you'd prefer that(I do).Pass some of the evening admin jobs onto him, while you read a book ,watch telly,have a bath, whatever you need or like to do to decompress.

You need breaks and some time to yourself.You'll be a lot better to cope even with the early wakeups if your life isn't just work and kids starting at 5am.

I bribed mine with screens. The days they wake me up in therm morning they arent allowed any screens.
It works and ive been sleeping in on weekends while the kids play quietly. They are 6 and 7 now and go make their own breakfast on weekends.

@Munchkinpumpkin

Put them to bed bit later at weekends.. my 5 yr old and 2 yr old are still in bed now

Yes, that would be nice, wouldn't it? Mine don't do that, in fact they wake up even earlier if they go to bed late. Smug much?

@themerrywifeofwindsor

I already go to bed at 9-9:30, can't really go much earlier! After the kids stop fucking around at bedtime I eat dinner and deal with whatever admin that needs doing and it's generally nearly 9 by then. I also work full time.

I'm tired and fed up and rarely get any time to myself so I have very little patience. I wish I'd never had kids, I want my life back.

Then I think you need to hugely adjust your expectations.

You're complaining about how tired and stressed you are but don't want to do something that would make your life massively easier - which is to use screens.

Why would your martyr yourself to a life of 5am wake-ups when a tablet with CBeebies and a couple of games on it would solve your problems overnight?

To add - my parents were hugely against screens but even they let me get up and watch Barney in the morning so they could sleep until a more humane hour

Your child will be absolutely fine with a tablet or a TV in the mornings for a while so you can get some sleep and wake up a bit more normally.

@HaveringWavering

Seriously, you're so stressed and tired that you say you wish you had never had kids but you flat out refuse to give her an iPad to occupy her? Stop being a martyr!

Gotta say I agree with this. The iPad was a game changer when mine were awake at silly o'clock!

Are you crashing out straight away when you go to bed or does it take some time to fall asleep?

Yes absolutely. Just set some ground rules. Like stay in her room.

I think I will have to go with the screens then! I'm a bit of a perfectionist, can you tell? Yes I do need to lower my standards and give myself a break. Thank you

My daughter just turned 4, she wakes up at around 8am go downstairs and get herself a snack and come back to my bed to just lay and wait until I get up .😀

What time is the gro clock set for? If she wakes at 5:30 and the gro clock is set for 7am that’s never going to work. You need to teach her to self-occupy in bed slowly. If she wakes at 5:30 then set the gro clock for 5:35 and give a sticker if she manages that. The next day set it for 5:40. Build up in 5 minute chunks.

I also agree she needs some hiking to do, if she’s wide awake you can’t expect a 5-year-old to lie quietly twiddling her thumbs quietly for half an hour. You say she’s incapable of amusing herself in the day so you need to work on this skill if you want her to do it first thing, if she can’t amuse herself in the day it’s completely unrealistic to think she’ll do it when she wakes up.

The other alternative would be to just get a kids tablet and allow an hour screen time every morning for your sanity and to then put it away for the rest of the day.