5 year old in the morning

[themerrywifeofwindsor]

AIBU to think that a 5 year old should be able to amuse themselves quietly in bed in the morning until its time to get up? DD has had a gro clock for years but she totally ignores it. Have bribed her this morning with a sticker chart to stay in bed, which she has done, but has made such a racket that she's woken everyone up anyway. She practically never stays in bed quietly until a reasonable time, she and DS who is nearly 3 tag team and if one of them doesn't wake me up at 5, the other does. It's really affecting how I feel about her as i get startled awake most days and usually start the day feeling pissed off with her

@Hedonism

Hmm. My ds was like this. I found it much easier when I managed to accept that that was just how it was, rather than starting each day with disappointment.

Agree with this. My oldest is an early riser and not much to be done about it. Gro clock worked for about 2 months but he ignores it now. Always been very consistent with him and his sibling (who sleeps til 630-7am). But seems 530am is his time to start the day.

And not wake the whole house with unnecessary noise

Yep, unless you have a fairly compliant child (who is trainable, I hear some are ), you put up with it, tag team or let them watch TV or play a game. Those are your choices. My mum used terror essentially but I don't find that ok nowadays.

On the plus side we've never had to wake DD for school and never overslept for work!

Our kids are 6 and 4 and always up between 5:45 and 6:30. Agree we have just accepted it and get on with the day. Do you have a partner? One lie in each at the weekend.

BUT DS1 has started lately having nightmares and absolutely screaming for us in the night and WOW the adrenaline of being woken up like that. Really hard to get back to sleep, I totally get what you’re saying about being startled awake. If I was you I would just let her get up but tell her she has to be quiet and not startling. She can understand that at 5.

On the plus side we've never had to wake DD for school and never overslept for work!

Yep this, our school mornings are so chilled 😄

The thing with the gro clock is you have to use it on their wake time so they get the positive response from it. Then you gradually shift the time later.

You don't just whack it in their room to light up 2 hours after their natural wake time and then complain when it's ignored.

So this sounds mad but it really helped me. Everytime my DS would do this and I felt pissed off I'd say in my head 'whats the alternative' and the alternative would be no DS there to wake me. Which was unthinkable.

I know it's mad 😂 but it really does work.

I have a five year old. If she wakes early I tell her it's not morning and she returns to bed. She only allowed up at 7 and knows it

@rrhuth

Sorry but 5 is very young and I think yabu. And completely unrealistic.

It really isn’t. This is where people might go wrong, still treating 5 year olds like 2 year olds.

I think persevere with the gro clock and sticker chart. Now she's got one maybe she'll be more motivated?
My 3 year old understands he can't wake everyone up until his clock is yellow (7 on weekdays and 7.30 weekends). He will sometimes wake up half an hour earlier and plays with his teddies on his bed or his animal figures. He still has a monitor and I hear him say "blue is quiet time". So I'd say by 5 her understanding should be ok.

Does she have any consequences for waking you up early? I'd be too tired for nice trips to park and farm and swimming etc if I was up at 5 and DS would be told that if it happened here. I sound a bit harsh compared to some other posters but sleep is important for us and them to all function nicely!

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

The thing with the gro clock is you have to use it on their wake time so they get the positive response from it. Then you gradually shift the time later.

You don't just whack it in their room to light up 2 hours after their natural wake time and then complain when it's ignored.

I don’t follow. 5 year olds can read numbers, they know when the clock is making them stay in bed later. It could work if you explain to them in advance I suppose?

No advice but I'm here in solidarity

Same here but mine are 4 and 2. Today they put all their teddies onto the youngest ones bed and played 'swimming pool' where they took turn diving off oldest bed into the pile of teddies. Ingenious but when you're woken at 5.30 by crying because one has smacked their face on a bit of furniture it can grate!

[quote themerrywifeofwindsor]@grey12 hahaha hahaha NO

She wriggles, kicks, pokes you in the ears or nose, won't shut up and is generally annoying.[/quote]
Yup, like my DD2 🤷🏻‍♀️

Much depends on the child

I agree with the gro clock. My daughter is 2.5 and she understands it and gets so excited that we have to perform the 'yellow dance' to the clock when she wakes up 😂

Yeah we have early risers too. Set the gro clock to twenty mins after they usually wake and then one of us goes down with them and lets the other sleep on. It won’t always be like this but I understand how annoying it is every morning.

We have similar issues. Ear plugs for me on my lie in day help.

We have trained the 5 year old to the gro clock by not being too ambitious - started with 5:30, gradually got it to 6:15. Occasionally try going to 6:30 but it never works.

We also got a Tonie box which has really helped. Yoto player also an option

My dd is also 5 and I would say you should expect her to amuse herself till a reasonable time. My dd gets up around 6am and will play with something for about 30-45min. She will then play and when she's ready to get us up she will go to the loo and brush her teeth first. She's very mature though. My dd goes to bed around 8-8.30 so maybe try a later bedtime?

Ds is 3 and has a similar clock to the gro clock. He tends to wake between 6 and half 6, will toddle in, we tell him to come back when the sun is up at 7 and he plays in his room - either puzzles, cars, looks at books, plays with characters etc. He also has an Alexa so might play music and have a dance - could you pop one I'm and teach her how to ask if for stories or something to listen to?

I don't expect ds to stay physically in his bed buy in his room for sure.

OP you say you also have an almost 3yo, I'm assuming they're an early riser too. Everyone seems to be focusing solely on the 5yo but actually you say it's both children 'tag teaming' during the early wake up, not just your DD. Then your DD has to amuse herself AND her sibling?

DD1 was an early riser, I was lucky in that she'd read until 6am but that was her limit. Single parent so no option to get someone else to deal with early starts. DD2 used to wake at 5am and honestly I got her a tablet when she was 3, and took a brioche and milk for her bedside table. Game changer!!

I know a tablet would work, she would happily stare mindlessly at a screen for hours but I don't want her to have one, as we'd never get her off it and I'm trying to encourage her to do other things.

For me policing the tablet time and setting clear boundaries is also important and has to happen at some stage. Could she go downstairs and watch TV? I don't know how quietly you can expect her to play with toys.

We've always treated anything before 6.39-7 as night time, and have tried to get them back to sleep. They now usually wake some time between 7-8. If its towards the beginning of this, we let them watch an episode of something in cbeebies whilst we come around.

Shes still only a little girl though .You say she is asleep by 7.30 pm ,by 5.am shes had a good 9 to 9.5 hours! I think if you try a slightly later bedtime it may work .She was probably excited at New year and woke early . Ours didnt wake until about 7am but often not asleep until 9.00 sometimes! Please dont take it personally .She just wants Mummy or Daddy as soon as she is awake is all

She is usually asleep by 7:30 and doesn't lie in even if we keep her up later.

In my experience with young children, you get the evening or the morning to have quiet adult time, you don’t get both. Bed by 7.30pm for a 5 year old is good. If you want her to go to bed later, have you tried making dinner time later as well? If not she may end up waking up early as she’s hungry.

You can't have it all. If sleep is that important to you to you then she needs things to do in her room(things that she likes to do and can do without supervision , not whatever you think she should try)that are reasonably quiet including the possibility of a tablet. Would you stay two hours in bed ,wide awake doing nothing at all?

Or you wake up when she wakes up willingly.

At the moment you're setting her up to fail, and starting a very day on the wrong foot. She's not hitting things aggressively, or making obnoxious noises or whatever. She's in her room like you asked her to, playing like you asked her to with things that you provided.

Even when everything is right, some kids (especially at 5) just don't like being alone and need the reassuring presence of an adult. Your DD might be one of those, or she might happily entertain herself in an acceptable way to you if you set it up for her.