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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

There’s always one - parent WhatsApp group

177 replies

CoronaKidd · 08/01/2022 10:38

I’m a long-term parent as I have older kids but this is my first time on a parent WhatsApp group (for my youngest).

In general it is fine but now the preschool has corona and one member of the group is being ridiculously unreasonable. Basically it seems she’s unhappy with the nursery but comes across to me as being so entitled and ungrateful. She seems to be very unhappy that her DC may have now been exposed at nursery - which is utterly ridiculous given it is absolutely rife in our area and really beyond anyone’s control.

I know I just need to ignore the negativity but, I’m really having to bite my tongue. I’ve tried a few diplomatic replies but she’s not getting it.

I’m tempted to report the comments back to the preschool but would that just be causing more trouble?

OP posts:
Original poster
CoronaKidd · 08/01/2022 20:22

Warblerinwinter

She does sound a bit anxious but is also it seems as if she’s not really fully aware of what’s going on with Covid at the moment….I have a relative with health anxiety and it is taking her a while to take on board that Covid is now much less of a threat to most people. So perhaps there’s a small chance that this is where she’s coming from? If it is, I do understand how crippling health anxiety can be.

However, she would have been told if her child had had direct contact with the staff member and doesn’t seem to have grasped that it’s so contagious that if one person has tested positive, there will most likely be others who now have it and already had it. The staff member is not “patient zero” at the nursery.

…I suppose her comments could also make other families who have tested positive feel implicated.

OP posts:
stayathomer · 09/01/2022 12:40

She does sound a bit anxious but is also it seems as if she’s not really fully aware of what’s going on with Covid at the moment….I have a relative with health anxiety and it is taking her a while to take on board that Covid is now much less of a threat to most people.
We have no idea what the fallout from covid could be, having it could have future implications for people. I have long covid from the first strain and my heart and chest are in tatters. I am 40 and used to run regularly, now if I lift anything too heavy or walk too much/fast I have to sit down and breathe in and out to stop the pain in my chest. How is everyone so sure omicron won't damage kids/adults when it's only just arrivedin the last few months? So fed up of hearing people being called anxious for trying not to get sick!!!

whittingtonmum · 09/01/2022 17:31

Mute and ignore.

I have made DH join a few parent whats app groups as he doesn't care about all the craziness and I have left and have peace of mind.

CloR86 · 09/01/2022 18:00

Just ignore her

Chilllichutneyandcheese · 09/01/2022 18:06

I don’t have notifications for school whatsap groups. Parents are bonkers. Just ignore. This is just the beginning!

Stars2theside · 09/01/2022 18:07

I’m part of a parent WhatsApp group. There is always one twat. I have this chat permanently on mute, and only go in if I’m not feeling moody, or annoyed in any way, as that way I don’t get triggered by anybody else’s nonsense Grin. It’s really the only way I’ve found it works for me!

cherish123 · 09/01/2022 18:11

She does sound ridiculous but just stay out of it. A nursery can't really stop the spread. Don't report it to the nursery. That would be a bit childish.

HerculesMulligann · 09/01/2022 18:14

Sounds like she will need more time to get her head round the fact that covid is now endemic than most other people will. But that’s not your problem - we’re all different.

My default approach to my kids class WhatsApp group is to be a observer. It can be useful to get information from (and to work out which parents are the ones to avoid!) but there’s very rarely any need to contribute to the conversation.

Luredbyapomegranate · 09/01/2022 18:16

Why would you report it back??
Stop engaging and ignore.

Fluffmum · 09/01/2022 18:19

Just ignore it

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 09/01/2022 18:20

What would 'reporting' her to the preschool achieve?

Just let it go.

Hawaiiinthemorning · 09/01/2022 18:28

@WalkingOnSonshine

Oh god we’ve got one like this.

Everyone pretty much ignores her, except one or two who are too nice.

She’s not got much else going on in her life & seems quite unhappy, so ends becoming fixated on things that either don’t matter or are out of her control.

It isn’t the sign of a happy person & you aren’t going to have your desired impact if you say anything to her or the nursery, so it’s best to just ignore.

I’d say the same about the op. Wanting to report to the pre school and needing to bite her tongue. Some people are in serious need of a hobby.
Singsomethingsimple · 09/01/2022 18:30

WhatsApp groups are a blessing and a curse. Please don't tell the manager of Pre-School because they are dealing with a stressful situation already. Having been through Covid hell as a manager, a supportive email from you and others would mean the world.

Hopeisnotastrategy · 09/01/2022 18:31

@HaveringWavering

I’d only be concerned if she was getting lots of replies of agreement from the other parents. If nobody is repeating her views or encouraging her then most likely the rest are probably rolling their eyes and ignoring. She’ll be posting this to get other people’s support for kicking up a fuss with the preschool. If nobody bites them she’ll probably drop it.
A wise post.
Topseyt · 09/01/2022 18:34

I would just completely ignore her. Certainly don't bother reporting back to the preschool. That would surely achieve nothing useful.

I remain eternally grateful that parent WhatsApp or social media groups hadn't yet been invented when mine were at preschool and primary school. They sound like a magnet for playground politics and twattery.

masterblaster · 09/01/2022 18:35

Nice anonymous Tory fan account

masterblaster · 09/01/2022 18:43

Everyone making smart comments about the Tories not governing the entire world. They govern the U.K., and the U.K. has the seventh highest number of deaths in the world, but is 21st in population. Thought we were a modern country?

PierrethePenis · 09/01/2022 18:46

@Skeumorph

'You say it best - doo doo doo doo

When you say NOTHING AT ALL'

is the parent whatsapp theme tune I find

I must remember this one. ‘Let it go, let it go’ works too.
WhiteJellycat · 09/01/2022 18:57

@moresugarpls

Honestly I wouldn’t engage with her. Just mute your WhatsApp
This. Just mute it for a week or so.
Liesovertheocean · 09/01/2022 18:59

You’re entitled to be irritated by the whole thing…sounds like she’s a chore.

However, I had to select YABU though on the basis that you really shouldn’t snitch no matter how much you dislike her opinion. It’s just not Cricket.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 09/01/2022 19:02

Leave the WhatsApp group

Scottsy100 · 09/01/2022 19:14

That’s her problem to deal with if she feels that strongly about it then she should keep her child at home, but don’t involve yourself. If you think a nursery Mums group is bad wait till primary and secondary 😂

Badunkadunk · 09/01/2022 19:15

You are not being unreasonable. These WhatsApp groups are full of fruit loops; I bailed from both my DDs groups due to the constant covid crap and daily digest on who had tested positive for what. Your mental health will be the better for it if you follow suite and just ask some kind soul to let you know when they are collecting for the teacher’s end-of-term gift.

threatmatrix · 09/01/2022 19:23

I doubt if she’s noticed anything 😂

threatmatrix · 09/01/2022 19:24

Have we the highest deaths?or are we more honest then most countries. And by the way we haven’t.