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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

There’s always one - parent WhatsApp group

177 replies

CoronaKidd · 08/01/2022 10:38

I’m a long-term parent as I have older kids but this is my first time on a parent WhatsApp group (for my youngest).

In general it is fine but now the preschool has corona and one member of the group is being ridiculously unreasonable. Basically it seems she’s unhappy with the nursery but comes across to me as being so entitled and ungrateful. She seems to be very unhappy that her DC may have now been exposed at nursery - which is utterly ridiculous given it is absolutely rife in our area and really beyond anyone’s control.

I know I just need to ignore the negativity but, I’m really having to bite my tongue. I’ve tried a few diplomatic replies but she’s not getting it.

I’m tempted to report the comments back to the preschool but would that just be causing more trouble?

OP posts:
rrhuth · 08/01/2022 12:24

This is why I do not join school whatsapp groups. They are dominated by muppets.

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 08/01/2022 12:25

Just ignore her. Don't get sucked into her drama.

Justilou1 · 08/01/2022 12:29

Best to stay out of it entirely but if cornered in person, I’d point out that SHE put the elderlies at risk by exposing them to her germy kids.

Warblerinwinter · 08/01/2022 12:29

Can we stop with the calling people entitled.
It is as bad as calling her a Karen
She is anxious. She is challenging why it has happened. You may not agree. That’s fine. You might feel she is being unreasonable with her arguments- but she clearly doesn’t.
Stop being so judgmental- it isn’t a good look. There are time you will come across to people as unreasonable.

MalcolmTuckersBollockingface · 08/01/2022 12:32

I left our WhatsApp group, too. I tried to mute but, when I visited the chat, I still found it all very infuriating. It has been bliss ever since.

HaveringWavering · 08/01/2022 12:37

I’d only be concerned if she was getting lots of replies of agreement from the other parents. If nobody is repeating her views or encouraging her then most likely the rest are probably rolling their eyes and ignoring. She’ll be posting this to get other people’s support for kicking up a fuss with the preschool. If nobody bites them she’ll probably drop it.

Nodancingshoes · 08/01/2022 12:39

Dont tell the preschool- it will just piss the staff off who probably already feel undervalued and underpaid. I would never engage on one of these groups - always one troublemaker

minny80 · 08/01/2022 12:42

I joined my first and last school parent Whatsup group in September 2019. Left it by April/May 2020. Life is too short to have to deal with more irritating/idiotic people than necessary. And really I can get all the info I need from school and teachers.

WheresTheLambSauce · 08/01/2022 12:52

I'm aware that some parents are likely unhappy with the recent spikes in cases for both staff and children, but I'd rather not know what particular parents are saying about us outside of nursery, particularly if it isn't the person themselves disclosing it. Ime it just causes more tension and pressure to be felt by staff.

If she's truly concerned then she can always discuss this with the nursery manager, but otherwise she's perfectly entitled to her own opinions. As unreasonable as they may seem.

BoredZelda · 08/01/2022 12:56

I’m tempted to report the comments back to the preschool but would that just be causing more trouble?

Why? It would be shit stirring for no good reason. The school could do nothing about it.

Quarks69 · 08/01/2022 12:58

@BoredZelda

I’m tempted to report the comments back to the preschool but would that just be causing more trouble?

Why? It would be shit stirring for no good reason. The school could do nothing about it.

As a teacher could I put parents in detention 😂
GreetingsAndSalutations · 08/01/2022 13:04

You’ve said you’ve tried to be diplomatic and she’s not having it. That’s on her. Leave her be and fgs don’t tell tales on her to the nursery staff- it makes things more uncomfortable for everyone and doesn’t solve anything.

100problems · 08/01/2022 13:09

The only thing that outstrips a parent WhatsApp group for drama is one of those Facebook neighbour pages.

I promise if you engage with this person it will drain your energy and your will to go on. People like this live for stirring shit from grains so small they cannot be seen with the most powerful telescope.

The Nursery staff will already have her sussed as a fucking nightmare; watch them put hangers in their mouths for an extra wide smile and trilly enthusiasm when she appears at dismissal. As soon as she's out of sight their eyes will be rolling like fruit machine wheels.

Mute the Wahtsapp. That's what it's for.

Blanketpolicy · 08/01/2022 13:10

The nursery would have taken reasonable precautions to reduce the risks, but they (and most settings) cannot reasonably eliminate the risk.

My brother is still unreasonably angry our mum caught covid while in hospital and I have given up trying to persuade him differently so he can let go of some of the anger. When people are genuinely concerned, or grieving, reason goes out the window. Hopefully once everything settles down she will realise she has been a bit unrealistic.

You don't need to agree with her, but you don't need to do anything about it either.

LittleBearPad · 08/01/2022 13:12

@Warblerinwinter

Can we stop with the calling people entitled. It is as bad as calling her a Karen She is anxious. She is challenging why it has happened. You may not agree. That’s fine. You might feel she is being unreasonable with her arguments- but she clearly doesn’t. Stop being so judgmental- it isn’t a good look. There are time you will come across to people as unreasonable.
Umm the reason’s it has happened is there’s a highly infectious virus.

There’s nothing to challenge!

If her parents are that vulnerable then she has choices - don’t send DS to nursery or don’t see her parents.

Blaming nursery about something unavoidable is just stupid

WorraLiberty · 08/01/2022 13:12

I'm loving the irony here.

The OP can't seem to ignore this parent, but has no problem ignoring the 90+ posts on this thread 🤣🤣

alphabetsoup1980 · 08/01/2022 13:15

@Cocoabutterformula

Ask her if she voted Tory? The incompetence of the government may have contributed to the level in your area.

Don't be so utterly silly, it's engulfed the whole globe or hadn't you noticed Hmm

You are aware of the Tories...right? Blush
Taoneusa · 08/01/2022 13:22

@Warblerinwinter

Can we stop with the calling people entitled. It is as bad as calling her a Karen She is anxious. She is challenging why it has happened. You may not agree. That’s fine. You might feel she is being unreasonable with her arguments- but she clearly doesn’t. Stop being so judgmental- it isn’t a good look. There are time you will come across to people as unreasonable.
This!

She sounds anxious. It is challenging sometimes to witness anxiety, as it is to feel it!

Reviewer123456 · 08/01/2022 13:25

@llansanan

Ask her if she voted Tory? The incompetence of the government may have contributed to the level in your area.
Oh dear…. You obviously did not get the memo!
AliveAndSleeping · 08/01/2022 13:27

Just ignore her. She might be very anxious or have other issues going on. Unless she is being nasty or causing actual harm to anyone just let her be. Not everything needs to be called out. We are not the behaviour police.

WonderfulYou · 08/01/2022 13:28

YANBU to be annoyed, I hate when talking whole blame the establishments but YABU to report it.

Butchyrestingface · 08/01/2022 13:29

I’m tempted to report the comments back to the preschool but would that just be causing more trouble?

Unless she is attempting to whip up some kind of mutiny on the bounty among fellow parents, I would ignore it. People are surely entitled to believe they are speaking in confidence on the WhatsApp group, without fear of a mole in the ranks.

LaMadrilena · 08/01/2022 13:42

My DD was snotty and coughy yesterday, and I texted the nursery to see if it was ok to take her (I've had a negative lft for the same symptoms), but I sent it to the group chat by accident. I've only been in it a week, and I was terrified there was going to be a massive backlash about infecting the others, and deleted it sharpish! Luckily no numpties have jumped on it yet...

sue20 · 08/01/2022 13:43

@Shoxfordian

Why are you involving yourself with this nonsense?
This. Are you in some way responsible for her or the nursery? Being in a WhatsApp group is just being in discussion and hopefully support. Nothing is happening here which puts you in a position of having to act, if her comments are getting to you don’t read them or ignore. Nursery is probably already on the receiving end of her whining just stay out of it not your business.
UserBot989 · 08/01/2022 13:53

Mute the notifications. The nursery will tell you when they're closed.

The other day there was somebody on here looking for ''the source'' of her mother's covid. I said that it's rife, globally and looking for the source at this point is ridiculous. Was told in no uncertain terms to fuck off, so there are people who do need to find somebody to blame their covid on. Horrible attitude imo.