There’s always one - parent WhatsApp group

[CoronaKidd]

I’m a long-term parent as I have older kids but this is my first time on a parent WhatsApp group (for my youngest).

In general it is fine but now the preschool has corona and one member of the group is being ridiculously unreasonable. Basically it seems she’s unhappy with the nursery but comes across to me as being so entitled and ungrateful. She seems to be very unhappy that her DC may have now been exposed at nursery - which is utterly ridiculous given it is absolutely rife in our area and really beyond anyone’s control.

I know I just need to ignore the negativity but, I’m really having to bite my tongue. I’ve tried a few diplomatic replies but she’s not getting it.

I’m tempted to report the comments back to the preschool but would that just be causing more trouble?

Just don’t post in the WhatsApp group. Nothing good ever comes of it. I only ever use it for info. The most I might write is “please could someone tell me what the homework is?” Or “yes please” if someone offers to organise the teacher’s gift.
Play it safe!
It is also good for intelligence gathering. You’ll soon get a good idea of who you don’t want to spend two hours standing next to running a stall at the summer fair.

@LittleBearPad

Just met the group for the day.

Mute! Not met!

Consider yourself lucky there's only one.

IDontHaveThePelvisForAFuton
“I would point out that nursery staff are already underpaid and work extremely hard, anyone with kids will understand childcare is a pretty relentless job without all the covid shit on top. I'm sure they're doing their very best to keep everyone safe.”

My thoughts exactly, they’ve worked tirelessly throughout and really don’t deserve to be blamed for coronavirus too…A staff member has tested positive, parent wants to know who, but it spreads so quickly the staff member could have easily picked it up from one of the kids when they re-opened this week. The parent doesn’t seem to show any understanding of what it’s like when you work with kids, constantly bombarded with illness and to be upset that one of the STAFF could be spreading infection is abhorrent.

She mentioned they’d put her elderly parents at risk as her kids had visited them but why on Earth is she allowing her kids to see them if they’re at nursery and her parents are vulnerable 🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree she sounds ridiculous, with the best will in the world and with all of the reasonable mitigations that a nursery can put in place it's obvious that there's a still a risk in an environment with lots of little ones in close quarters, sharing toys etc, and many of whom will be asymptomatic. That said she feels how she feels, either say how you feel about nursery or leave it for them to sort if she speaks directly to them about it.

I mean you could call her out on it be direct ask her what she suggests they could have done better!

I can't see what the nursery would do about it if you told them

She does seem to unrealistic expectations.

@stayathomer , she is not unreasonable to be upset. She is unreasonable to blame the nursery staff.

Get out while you can.... I never have and never will be part of these type of groups.

Just ignore it now. You’ve tried a couple of polite comments, now you need to mute the conversation for a bit. No good comes of trying to convince an overly emotional parent of a preschooler via words on a WhatsApp that they’re wrong.

Oh god we’ve got one like this.

Everyone pretty much ignores her, except one or two who are too nice.

She’s not got much else going on in her life & seems quite unhappy, so ends becoming fixated on things that either don’t matter or are out of her control.

It isn’t the sign of a happy person & you aren’t going to have your desired impact if you say anything to her or the nursery, so it’s best to just ignore.

Don't do that. Just ignore it or leave the group, or put it in your archive so you only read it when you want to. Nothing worse than school/nursery snitches who think it's OK to report the opinions of grown adults who are well within their rights to have them. Even more funny is that our school seem to think they can police these conversations... I don't get involved with them but I see them, and the consequent school letter complaining about parents talking about school. Of course parents are going to discuss school amongst themselves.

As long as it isn't inciteful behaviour or expressing intention to harm anyone then it needs leaving well alone. Some people just don't realise how high their exposure risk is right now. I would think it obvious to anyone considering there's a rolling 7 day average of over 1 million cases, but it isn't because not everyone reads about it or keeps tabs on stats etc.

Sometimes people go off on one, it doesn't sound like she's been particularly bad, just a bit thoughtless in her concern for parents and lack of concern for the teacher.
One calm reply like "Covid rates are very high everywhere at the moment so the virus will spread, it's unfortunate but hopefully anyone infected will get well soon. The only thing we can all reasonably do is take regular LFTs and consider meeting anyone particularly vulnerable outside in masks."

Then mute the WhatsApp group and go back to it in a few days when you've calmed down.

I’m tempted to report the comments back to the preschool but would that just be causing more trouble?

Report her? To what end? What do you think the preschool will do - put her on the naughty step? Take away her colouring book?

You’re two adult women who disagree. Either tell her you think she’s wrong and why, or ignore her. She’s not a child being naughty.

I understand where you're coming from. I have a friend who has health anxiety (it turns out, at first I thought she was just vehemently left wing and anti-Boris and the Tories). She posts the most irritating, extreme stuff on Facebook. At the start of the pandemic I tried reassuring her and responding reasonably. Now I sit on my hands and don't engage. The only thing that would make her happy would be a travel ban both within and outside the UK, home schooling with her own Covid tested teacher in her home every day and goodness knows what else. She has problems I cannot cure.

I’d put money on her having posted on mumsnet
And there being post after post after post supporting her

She sounds bloody degranged.
If she is that bothered then she should keep her kid with her at all times, stay in her house and avoid all human contact.
Sorry I don't have any sympathy for her at all.
And yes I know she has to go to work blah blah blah.......we all do!!!!
I'm ill at the moment. I have to work with the general public. Awaiting my pcr test. I feel like shit. So no sympathy here.
I would mute her.
This is the problem with some WhatsApp groups. You join with the intention of finding out useful information such as after school club has been cancelled today but end up being inundated with crap like this.

We don’t know whether shes vulnerable
Another child in the family vulnerable
Lost people to covid etc

Or she just had a really shitty day and didn’t think

@llansanan

Ask her if she voted Tory? The incompetence of the government may have contributed to the level in your area.

I mean it's clearly not a worldwide pandemic or anything 🤦🏻‍♀️

I mean it's clearly not a worldwide pandemic or anything 🤦🏻‍♀️

🤣

@CoronaKidd

IDontHaveThePelvisForAFuton “I would point out that nursery staff are already underpaid and work extremely hard, anyone with kids will understand childcare is a pretty relentless job without all the covid shit on top. I'm sure they're doing their very best to keep everyone safe.”

My thoughts exactly, they’ve worked tirelessly throughout and really don’t deserve to be blamed for coronavirus too…A staff member has tested positive, parent wants to know who, but it spreads so quickly the staff member could have easily picked it up from one of the kids when they re-opened this week. The parent doesn’t seem to show any understanding of what it’s like when you work with kids, constantly bombarded with illness and to be upset that one of the STAFF could be spreading infection is abhorrent.

She mentioned they’d put her elderly parents at risk as her kids had visited them but why on Earth is she allowing her kids to see them if they’re at nursery and her parents are vulnerable 🤷🏻‍♀️

She's an idiot. If she's that concerned about her children visiting her elderly parents, then she shouldn't be sending her children to a nursery during a pandemic. Because it is everywhere no matter how many precautions you take right now.

Oh and nursery staff have the right to mix with who they like. Again if she doesn't like this she can withdraw her child and you know, look after them herself.

Other than getting the kids to wash their hands regularly (and how much that stops the spead of covid, I don't know), what else can the nursery do? Unless children have symptoms or parents keep their child off, they have to accept the children who turn up. What does she expect them to do?

Personally, if it's a group chat, I'd avoid engaging in anything she says if you feel she is being unreasonable. As you are in a group, not everyone has to answer. No point in conducting a campaign against her or challenging her views. Turn off your notifications so you only read it when you feel like it.

As a mum with kids at uni, I missed the joy of WhatsApp parent groups..thank god. I can only imagine the kind of conversations you have to have on there. op take a step back and ask yourself why the dads don’t get so involved. sometimes the men are in fact the best role models in life!!