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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman across the street staring into my house

390 replies

Littlejayx · 07/01/2022 13:57

I live on a busy road in a large village, over the past few weeks I have been home more due to home working starting up again. I used to get alerts from my lighting system that ‘living room had been triggered’ and thought it must be passing traffic, until I was sat down working today to see a neighbour stood scouring my whole living room (not seeing me due to positioning) then light sensor turned on (was off as I hadn’t moved)

I’ve had quite a few run ins with her about letting her dog foul outside my front door/drive, using my bins and trying to stop my Gardner trimming hedges. What do I do? 😩 last time I spoke to her she shouted at me on the street and threatened to report me for assault!

I’m living alone with two young children and hate the thought of her stood looking in my house

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Electriq · 10/01/2022 14:27

I second the above, make sure this is reported to the police.

AdobeWanKenobi · 10/01/2022 14:27

Gosh this is escalating a bit isn't it?!

Fernticket · 10/01/2022 15:20

Report this to Police. ASAP!

Zombiemum1946 · 10/01/2022 15:39

Having read your last post, get cctv, write down everything, contact police,a lawyer, and list the abuse from your ex partner as well as this situation. Whatever the full story, this has the potential to escalate badly. This woman should have refused point blank to get involved in any of this and should have informed the police instead.

Daftapath · 10/01/2022 16:16

Absolutely agree with pp who say that you should report this to the police. It is an escalation of the nosey neighbour but also an escalation of behaviour from the ex. As you say, police have been involved regarding him, so it is very important that you report his continued abusive/stalker behaviour too.

So glad that you have cctv now ... and a bolshy sister!

Ddot · 10/01/2022 16:17

Why would any woman do that to another woman. Hope she gets a boil where the sun dont shine

Original poster
Littlejayx · 10/01/2022 16:34

My ex partner is a truly charming man, until he isn’t, I’ve been on both sides of the man so don’t have the deep hate for her now I’ve thought about what he’s done! I’m going to report it first thing in the morning after reading your messages, I think when he picked up the kids the other week and the washer repair mans van being parked outside has made him think he has the right to know my business!

OP posts:
talesoftheunexploded · 10/01/2022 16:42

You had separate issues with ex and neighbour. Now they've joined forces this is even worse.
Just because she is doing his bidding (assuming what she says is true) doesn't mean she isn't a stalker / harasser in her own right.
It's even more important that you contact the police. Please don't be one of those women who didn't call the police and now lack credibility because they didn't act at the time.
Don't be "nice" or let it go. Protect yourself from them both while the issue is current.
Your sister and neighbour are witnesses so use their testimony to safeguard your DC.

Ddot · 10/01/2022 16:47

Still a bloody thief

EmmaH2022 · 10/01/2022 20:26

I would have deep hate for them both

How could she be persuaded to do this? Was he offering a shit ton of money?

Kazz36 · 10/01/2022 22:12

Invest on a ring doorbell. It will record all her creepy visits on your property and also alert you if anyone is on Yr property. Also buy blinds. The wooden ones. You can close them enough so neighbour can not see in, but you can still see out.

LakieLady · 11/01/2022 07:47

I hope you get a supportive response from the police when you speak to them today, OP.

Your ex sounds like a vindictive shit.

PainterMummy · 11/01/2022 11:03

Although you know who instigated her snooping, it does not give an r cause to the neighbour. Report her too to the police for harassment and theft. I wonder if there’s a charge about taking photos of the inside of your house and passing them on too. Even if it only amounts to the police coming out to have a word with her, may be enough to stop her. AND have something in record to regarding her behaviour.

Usernamerequired · 11/01/2022 11:37

It is illegal to take photos of private dwellings such as in through windows, especially with children involved so this is worth following up

April506 · 11/01/2022 11:53

I wonder if painting the ground infront of your window with climb proof paint would help her to fall over whilst doing this very strange thing

GrannytoaUnicorn · 11/01/2022 23:37

@Littlejayx How's things now OP?

MammaMacgill87 · 12/01/2022 08:26

As a random fyi trespassing isn't technically a criminal offense on domestic property in the uk. (Google details link wouldn't post) However obviously stealing very much is. Absolutely report that immediately, along with all of her behaviour. It adds up to an invasion of privacy intimidation, threatening behavior and now theft. Also have a word with your neighbours because I guarantee she's the same with others. After that report every tiny little thing either to the council or police evry single time you catch her and definitely get a camera.

MammaMacgill87 · 12/01/2022 08:35

Posted too quickly and missed your update, the ex being involved is a whole new ball game. Hand everything over to the police and I hope the situation improves for you and quickly. It's almost a relief though to know where the behaviour has stemmed from, she's a nosey cow but if what she says about the ex is true (and not just her excuse) that's a madness how dare he!!. I know you say you don't see why your plants should suffer but at this point I really wouldn't care about some plants. Get yourself decent blinds, a lockable store for your wood. Gates even if they are pointless they are still a deterrent! And please please tell me you have new door locks since the ex? I hope it's all settled down now. (Also set your sister on anyone else invading your privacy she sounds great)

Original poster
Littlejayx · 12/01/2022 09:44

Sorry again for a delayed response!

So due to everything that’s happened I’ve reported this to the police and they have acted shockingly quickly and within a day of reporting they have been in contact with both the neighbour and my ex! In the meantime wonderful scary sister had moved in (she’s home working too) and is sleeping in the living room on our wonderful sofa bed so if any more peeping won’t be dealt with in a calm manner as she is planning on donning a scream mask.

Thanks for all your online support though, after seeing a woman who I have known for a while turning on me for abit of attention from a master manipulator it’s nice for some kind words and help 🥰

OP posts:
ChimChimeny · 12/01/2022 09:47

Good on the police! There are too many stories of them not acting quickly enough so this is good to hear. And good on your sister, would love to see the nosy woman scared silly by a scream mask 🤣

Experiment627 · 12/01/2022 10:45

@Littlejayx I am so pleased you are being supported! Please can your sister be mine too? I love the idea of a scream mask... hope she does not have to deploy though!

Sprucewillis · 12/01/2022 10:56

That's is a great update OP. Hopefully nosey neighbour and EX will let you get on with living now Thanks

sueelleker · 12/01/2022 11:45

And if your sister is sleeping in the living room, any peeping with certainly count as invasion of privacy.

Zombiemum1946 · 12/01/2022 11:51

Pleased you got a good result.

RampantIvy · 12/01/2022 11:55

Great update. I hope they both leave you alone now