Woman across the street staring into my house

[Littlejayx]

I live on a busy road in a large village, over the past few weeks I have been home more due to home working starting up again. I used to get alerts from my lighting system that ‘living room had been triggered’ and thought it must be passing traffic, until I was sat down working today to see a neighbour stood scouring my whole living room (not seeing me due to positioning) then light sensor turned on (was off as I hadn’t moved)

I’ve had quite a few run ins with her about letting her dog foul outside my front door/drive, using my bins and trying to stop my Gardner trimming hedges. What do I do? 😩 last time I spoke to her she shouted at me on the street and threatened to report me for assault!

I’m living alone with two young children and hate the thought of her stood looking in my house

Could you position a prickly plant in pot directly in front of the window ? She may have mental issues does she behave like this with other neighbours ?

@Littlejayx

Update - I have just seen said neighbour walking out of my drive as we were pulling in from a day out, but had to do a turn around to park and she was running off to her house ( think across the round down 3) with a big bag of something. On investigation I’ve disturbed her taking some of my logs from the log store on the drive!!!! Now is that actual theft or not ?! I had a sleeping toddler so couldn’t run after her 😩

@Littlejayx

It’s a shame you couldn’t install automatic sprinklers that would be set off by motion detectors.
Easily turned on & off by you, but a good deterrent for intruders.
I’m very sorry - nobody deserves this. I agree with pp — document & report before it really gets out of hand.

Definitely get that sticky stuff that lets light through, you'll get more privacy that way and I'm sure she'll take the hint. Otherwise you could ask her what she's doing? But idk I'm not confrontational like that, which is a why I got a place with a block wall and fencing and tons of privacy.

It's theft. Talk to the police.

Even if your walk is small I think should consider a gate.

Get a Ring go that talks - they can say things like 'you are being filmed'.

So do you mean she is trespassing? Install a doorbell camera / exterior camera. Gather proof, ask her to to politely and if she breaches this report her to the police. I live in a flat and have similar issues which the landlord is not allowing me to deal with properly.

@Littlejayx

Update - I have just seen said neighbour walking out of my drive as we were pulling in from a day out, but had to do a turn around to park and she was running off to her house ( think across the round down 3) with a big bag of something. On investigation I’ve disturbed her taking some of my logs from the log store on the drive!!!! Now is that actual theft or not ?! I had a sleeping toddler so couldn’t run after her 😩

yes thats actual theft

get small tin bright paint, dab small dot on every log, when u know shes taken marked ones report to police asap tand tell em bout marks

Report her for stalking and theft.

Time to call the non emergency police number. Cheeky cow!

What a cheeky bitch, report her as soon as possible she probably has been stealing from you and other neighbours for a while

Don't any of you have net curtains? They don't have to be lacy old-lady things, just plain semi-sheer fabric that lets the light in, allows you to see out, but stops people being able to see in.

In the mean time some big pots or troughs full of spiky plants in from of the window.

Did you call the police, OP?

@Littlejayx

Update - I have just seen said neighbour walking out of my drive as we were pulling in from a day out, but had to do a turn around to park and she was running off to her house ( think across the round down 3) with a big bag of something. On investigation I’ve disturbed her taking some of my logs from the log store on the drive!!!! Now is that actual theft or not ?! I had a sleeping toddler so couldn’t run after her 😩

Yes, trespass and theft. Move or lock your log store, and film her if you can. Then call the police.

That's theft. A ring door might help?

oh so, she’s a thief as well. Horrible woman.

What’s your plan OP?

Is moving a bit extreme?

To be fair she sounds like she may not have very good mental health. The last thing you want to do is have a bad relationship with your neighbours and especially if they are not completely stable.

I would definitely speak to your local PCSO and take advice from them.

I know it may also sound a bit strange, but could there be an olive branch extended here. Try to see if there is the possibility of getting her on side. I think it’s safer to be friends with the local nut than enemies. I’m just thinking about the fact that you are stuck with her and you have to have a safe environment for yourself and your children.

Hope it works out.

Ps- I would also take the advice on here to log all of the unwanted behaviours down. Just in case it goes down the route of an harassment order.

What you describe sounds like antisocial behaviour- have you read up about the law on harassment and intimidation? And also trespass. There is quite a good summary on My Lawyer . You need to document and/or record all activities that have taken place. I would phone the non emergency police number to discuss what has been going on and what can be done about it. All local councils have a unit that deal with antisocial behaviour - it may be worth speaking to them about the situation too. She may be known to services if she has a mental health history so worth checking out as there may be a social worker or case worker who can have words. In the meantime do not retaliate in kind but do protect your privacy by installing blinds or privacy window coverings. I know from personal experience how stressful and upsetting this kind of behaviour is - good luck in sorting it out.

@RosiePosieDozy

I personally would ignore. You could get some blinds.

You would ignore someone standing outside staring in your window?

Weird...

Definitely theft, speak to the police, she might be well known for this odd behaviour. Or she might be starting to suffer with dementia and need some help. The police can get the right support if needed.

@bloodynamechangethe3rd , I'm sorely tempted to ask the worn-out question "are you on glue?" although of course I wouldn't.

@Littlejayx are you OK?

Where I used to live, a lady would stop me on the streets of my housing estate to harangue me about going to church/'christianity' (I don't know what she was on about)'; I told her that I attended church but she kept wittering on the same stuff over and over. It was harassment and it made me very uncomfortable. This is just one anecdote to say I know how worrying, selfish and oppressive neighbours can be; I have other examples unfortunately. The best I could suggest is to talk to the person in question in a dispassionate way with pre-prepared points to put across, eg. to ask if she needs anything, to ask if she would not dawdle so often because it made you feel uncomfortable - how would she feel if the boot was on the other foot, etc. Even if nothing changes, at least you have put across what you are feeling and why. I know stuff like this can be very unpleasant and I sympathisize.

So you've caught her stealing from your log store, now it makes sense(sort of) why she's doing this. Could she be that desperate that she's stealing from you ? Either way record, report and trigger the alarm.

She isn't stealing logs because she can't heat her home. She is stealing then because they are yours and she sees them as being part of you. Next it may be laundry in your back garden if she can access it. Then she may feel she has to get into your house to access your life, your belongings, your children's toys / clothes or she may even attempt to harm you.
Write a report of exactly what has happened, including incidents with neighbours, and report it to the police ASAP.

She'd need to steal shedloads of logs before she could use them to heat her home. She's not doing it because she's poor, she's doing it because she wants to claim your space and your stuff. She's marking your territory as hers.