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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman across the street staring into my house

390 replies

Littlejayx · 07/01/2022 13:57

I live on a busy road in a large village, over the past few weeks I have been home more due to home working starting up again. I used to get alerts from my lighting system that ‘living room had been triggered’ and thought it must be passing traffic, until I was sat down working today to see a neighbour stood scouring my whole living room (not seeing me due to positioning) then light sensor turned on (was off as I hadn’t moved)

I’ve had quite a few run ins with her about letting her dog foul outside my front door/drive, using my bins and trying to stop my Gardner trimming hedges. What do I do? 😩 last time I spoke to her she shouted at me on the street and threatened to report me for assault!

I’m living alone with two young children and hate the thought of her stood looking in my house

OP posts:
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5
Plumbuddle · 09/01/2022 12:24

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation

She'd need to steal shedloads of logs before she could use them to heat her home. She's not doing it because she's poor, she's doing it because she wants to claim your space and your stuff. She's marking your territory as hers.
Second this. She has developed an obsession with you. You could call social services as well as police, she may need MH assessment. Please do not ignore this or try to manage it directly yourself, this needs professional attention.
Bluntness100 · 09/01/2022 12:36

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation

She'd need to steal shedloads of logs before she could use them to heat her home. She's not doing it because she's poor, she's doing it because she wants to claim your space and your stuff. She's marking your territory as hers.
That’s not true, a large bag a day would likely heat it each evening. Wood is very expensive.
justhavingmysay · 09/01/2022 12:50

You could do some of the things that a lot of the people on here advise (if you want to start a neighbours war). On the other hand you could just get some blinds or window film to block out her view.

talesoftheunexploded · 09/01/2022 13:19

The suggestions of window film are all very well but blocking her view may make her more determined to access you by breaking into your home or following you.
Before this gets out of control please call the police. They may also refer to social services or NHS mental health services.

NewYearCalavicci · 09/01/2022 15:21

@justhavingmysay

You could do some of the things that a lot of the people on here advise (if you want to start a neighbours war). On the other hand you could just get some blinds or window film to block out her view.
And just how will that stop her stealing wood ?

I suggested film too until @Littlejayx came back to say she had stolen wood , it is a police matter now as it could escalate

starlight13 · 09/01/2022 17:20

This is bizarre and she sounds unhinged.
Personally, I would ensure that I have some evidence on her first in case it gets worse. So, I would film her looking in to your house and car etc (without her knowing), write all times and dates, sensors into a diary so you may be able to build a picture.
At the end of the day, she is trespassing onto your property in a threatening and invasive manner so I would then take it all to the police, telling them that she is scaring your children - that should do the trick.
I also love idea of setting off the alarm when she is at the window looking in - make sure you film that - perhaps put it all ove your local residents FB group asking if anyone knows her.

justhavingmysay · 09/01/2022 17:28

NewYearCalavicci

I did not see the post of her stealing logs. I agree with you it is a police matter now.

Curlyreine · 09/01/2022 17:55

Totally insane! Log with your community officer

lisaandalan · 09/01/2022 18:33

Could you not put a fence up on the wall so she can't look in, I know you should not have to but it would solve the problem. X

PainterMummy · 09/01/2022 20:43

Perhaps some prickly plants in very heavy planters in front if your window, low level so as not to impact light and some windows film, lockable log store, a camera for sure so you can report her harassment and theft o the police. Additionally, the dog fouling. She should easily get fined for that.

IncompleteSenten · 09/01/2022 21:18

What's the layout?
Where's your drive in relation to your tiny front bit? Is it down the side? You need visible cameras and perhaps a lockable log store.

meemaww · 09/01/2022 21:47

Could you keep logs for yourself at the back of the property but leave those at the front there, just having had ‘accidentally’ sprayed them with something smelly (but not flammable!) …….😂🤣😂. Let’s see if she continues to help herself to them then eh?

marinesub123 · 09/01/2022 22:15

Right. First off this woman is totally out of order in her behaviour. Dog walkers who let their dogs sniff around any walls or driveways know full well their dog may be preparing to either deficate of leave their urine on that wall or driveway. This is not fair and i cannot see why dog owners cannot get their dogs to do their mess where they live before they set out on walks. I am not a dog lover when it comes to walking dogs. Too many dog owners turn a blind eye to the mess and walk their dogs as a means to avoid cleaning up after the filthy muts.
Secondly, and more important there should be a law against people staring into someone's window deliberately and for long periods. Back in the day if a man had done this whilst a woman was getting undressed either in the bedroom or anywhere else in the home this would be classed as being a 'Peeping Tom' and i thought there was a law against that! In passing is acceptable of course but no resident should have to go to the expense of fitting special coverings or shutting their blinds to cater for nosey onlookers. They are rude and this can be quite intimidating; as in your case. Maybe it would be worth your while letting the police know. They might be able to advise her against her behaviour and how it is affecting you!

Where i live there is a park entrance adjacent to my front windows and last year for every day during the september period a weird vagabond used to place himself outside the entrance promptly from about 6.30am until going onto 8.00am. I am diabetic and struggle to sleep for long periods without wanting to get up and go to the toilet so i regularly saw this man hanging about outside. He started to stare up at my windows constantly as i always left my curtains open unless i was getting dressed or undressed but despite that his regular behaviour got on my nerves and i was not going to close my curtains to avoid his stares. I simply went out to him one morning and politely warned him to Fk O or face the consequences. I lied to hm about other residents in the area noticing him because they were worried for their kids who crossed the park to take the shortcut to a nearby school. I was only bluffing but my stern voice and serious stare did the trick. He has never been back. I know this is a bit far removed from what you are going through but my point is this woman needs to be made aware that what she is doing to your state of mind could become a serious issue at a later time if it has not already escalated to that!

Ddot · 09/01/2022 22:42

She is bat shit cray cray

Passtherioja · 09/01/2022 22:52

@Littlejayx I hope you're ok. We've had no word from you for ages.

GrannytoaUnicorn · 09/01/2022 22:57

@Littlejayx Are you still alive, OP?!?

HerNameIsIncontinentiaButtocks · 09/01/2022 23:07

Granny and Rioja - What do you two expect to have happened since? You're not entitled to updates as you salivate over the poor OP's shitty situation. Have some decorum, she's got some lunatic looking in her window, she doesn't need you demanding attention from her as well.

AWOL66 · 10/01/2022 00:12

I would keep the recordings of your cctv of her doing it as you will be kicking yourself later if you don't if things esculate. She has no boundaries-who does that?! It's your personal space

Fernticket · 10/01/2022 09:38

@Littlejayx.
I wouldn't confront her directly if I was you as she could see it as you wanting contact with her, which could make things worse. I agree with PPs, record her staring into your property and get security cameras if possible. Once you have recorded evidence, contact the Police. Her behaviour is bang out of order.
,

Original poster
Littlejayx · 10/01/2022 13:17

I’m so sorry for the late response it’s been a weird one!

So it’s come to light after a few harsh words that nosey neighbour was in fact being contacted by said abusive ex to take photos of and around my house to check if I had ‘another fancy man’ around 🤮🤮. She was caught by my sister who is the opposite to me (scared of nobody type) and a very aggressive word about standing outside my house with her phone taking pictures of my house/living room etc. I now have had cctv installed outside and the warning of police involvement if anything else happens.

I have had no such fancy man and wouldn’t have the time if I wanted too 😂. Hopefully this stops it now if not like I said things will be taken further.

OP posts:
Original poster
Littlejayx · 10/01/2022 13:17

She must of stole the wood just out of pure cheekiness l!

OP posts:
hopeishere · 10/01/2022 13:28

Really?? Does she know your ex? Sounds a bit far fetched.

Original poster
Littlejayx · 10/01/2022 13:53

Not really far fetched, he lived in this house for quite a few years before me and did some work on her house a few times and I hadn’t made the connection he would use someone to go this far!

OP posts:
Usernamerequired · 10/01/2022 13:56

This does not surprise me at all. Bloody stupid woman doing his bidding 😡 I am glad you have CCTV installed and police involved. None of his business if you have a fancy man is it? Hold your head up high, look after yourself and children 💐

Sprucewillis · 10/01/2022 14:03

The comment regarding her willingly doing your EXs bidding makes it even more crucial you notify the police what is going on. This is now a proper sustained stalking and intimidating tactic - she has admitted it is.

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