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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman across the street staring into my house

390 replies

Littlejayx · 07/01/2022 13:57

I live on a busy road in a large village, over the past few weeks I have been home more due to home working starting up again. I used to get alerts from my lighting system that ‘living room had been triggered’ and thought it must be passing traffic, until I was sat down working today to see a neighbour stood scouring my whole living room (not seeing me due to positioning) then light sensor turned on (was off as I hadn’t moved)

I’ve had quite a few run ins with her about letting her dog foul outside my front door/drive, using my bins and trying to stop my Gardner trimming hedges. What do I do? 😩 last time I spoke to her she shouted at me on the street and threatened to report me for assault!

I’m living alone with two young children and hate the thought of her stood looking in my house

OP posts:
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natlie77 · 08/01/2022 20:10

Sounds like my ex mother in law she lives in a large village brought her 3 bed council house wiv dining room so 4 bed... she moans and watches whoever moves in nxt door to rhe house council still own. And spends her rime staring out bk spare bedroom moaning about any family council dare move in to a large family home... she should never have been housed there anyway with only 2 children now grown and gone. Instead of being grateful she just moans about all the families on street.

Icantfindmykeys · 08/01/2022 20:17

Omg people are so weird!

I think I’d try a motion activated pest deterrent that squirt water. Make sure you record it though 😂😂😂 snd pls post here!

I found this www.amazon.co.uk/Defenders-Jet-Spray-Protector-Motion-Activated-Repellent/dp/B01DACLHT2/ref=asc_df_B01DACLHT2/?hvlocphy=1006702&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=224088607899&hvpone&hvlocint&th=1&hvpos&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-387546573584&hvrand=8739993766591281163 on Amazon. Good luck

xXRavenXx · 08/01/2022 20:18

Record her. Report her to your local authorities so it's on record. Then if anything happens you have a record of it. That's what I'd do. And you've got two kids to look after so be strong for them. You can do it😊

CrankyFrankie · 08/01/2022 20:22

Please report back once you’ve set the alarm off, ideally with video footage!

Youdoyoutoday · 08/01/2022 20:23

I'd get a really scary poster which could drop down to scare the shit out of her!

Original poster
Littlejayx · 08/01/2022 20:24

Update - I have just seen said neighbour walking out of my drive as we were pulling in from a day out, but had to do a turn around to park and she was running off to her house ( think across the round down 3) with a big bag of something. On investigation I’ve disturbed her taking some of my logs from the log store on the drive!!!! Now is that actual theft or not ?! I had a sleeping toddler so couldn’t run after her 😩

OP posts:
mde1982 · 08/01/2022 20:25

Be careful with all the suggestions for one way window film. They work by reflecting light in the lightest side of the class, which is generally the outside of the building and then that creates the mirror effect. But at night the effect is reversed so people can see in but you can't see out!

Youdoyoutoday · 08/01/2022 20:25

Yep that's theft

JustUseTheDoorSanta · 08/01/2022 20:27

@Littlejayx

Update - I have just seen said neighbour walking out of my drive as we were pulling in from a day out, but had to do a turn around to park and she was running off to her house ( think across the round down 3) with a big bag of something. On investigation I’ve disturbed her taking some of my logs from the log store on the drive!!!! Now is that actual theft or not ?! I had a sleeping toddler so couldn’t run after her 😩
Useful opportunity to have the police have a chat with her.
Partayyyyy · 08/01/2022 20:28

omg what a total weirdo, do not change your home blinds ect she is obviously a total c**t so no your plants and home should not suffer !!ask her what her problem is ,stand up to this bullying freak she obviously is just trying to intimidate you sod her off and enjoy your home

Youdoyoutoday · 08/01/2022 20:28

Get a lock for your log store and you'll probably see a lot less of her, the cheeky fecker!!

nonevernotever · 08/01/2022 20:33

Police -that's theft. Does she look into your house to check the cost is clear for stealing your logs?

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 08/01/2022 20:34

Theft!

I'd go right through her for that 😡

impossible · 08/01/2022 20:41

She sounds horrible. Can you lock up the logs? You might also want to rethink window film on lower half of windows. It's good for privacy and most doesn't much reduce light so is fine for plants. I know she's the problem not you but she also sounds like someone keen to escalate so I just wouldn't give her the option.

AgathaX · 08/01/2022 20:41

Theft. You need to report that, not that they'll do anything, bit it still needs reporting.

Plumbuddle · 08/01/2022 20:42

Make an immediate police report. So not hesitate. Otherwise she will make another complaint against y to get her retaliation in first. Fill in all the background. If the police get her complaint first then you will have all hell to sort out later.

Goodmum1234 · 08/01/2022 20:46

But if you want to move, not that you should but sounds like you’ve had a lot of crap happening there (ex and neighbour), if you own, wouldn’t you have to report the issue and so put off buyers?

Happyher · 08/01/2022 20:49

Stand and film her looking in at you. Is she a tenant? Report her to her landlord if so

RandomMess · 08/01/2022 20:53

CF

Lockable log store and yes report to local police even if they just have a word!

talesoftheunexploded · 08/01/2022 20:54

She is a stalker and this is escalating.

Firstly she's been entering your property, then looking in your windows, now stealing logs. Next she may enter the house. She may even attack you.

You are a lone parent and have existing challenging circumstances which make you vulnerable so it's really important that you report this to the police

If you can afford it get a high fence and lockable high gate. You shouldn't have to - but you need to so take precautions to make your home and your DC a safe space.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 08/01/2022 20:56

Report it immediately. Put up cameras. I would be tempted to go over and talk to her but if she is likely to kick off, I would write her a letter and state that you saw her taking your logs and that you will take legal action if she trespasses on your property, including coming past the wall or touching any logs in the log store.

talesoftheunexploded · 08/01/2022 21:00

Do not go to her house or attempt to talk to her. It could massively backfire and could undermine your position when you contact the police.

She is the can of worms you do not want to open. Do not get involved - your distance is important and it gives you credibility if police take action.

Let police deal with it.

alwayssaythankyou · 08/01/2022 21:01

wave and smile and ask if she needs anything

JaneyJimplin · 08/01/2022 21:06

If you don't feel comfortable talking to her directly, I think call the non emergency police number and just explain what's
been happening. Say you've found it intimidating but it's now escalated to her stealing your logs.

They might get a pcso to pop round and have a word.

AiryFairyLights · 08/01/2022 21:20

Lock your log store or put it round the back and net curtains? Also what about putting a security camera up with a big sign saying smile you’re on camera? X