Rear facing car seat placed front facing in DPs mum's car

[bantuknots]

DD is 8 months old and uses the car seat which is group 0+ (I think that's the one anyway). It's a rear facing one and one that comes with the buggy when buying the travel system.

I don't drive so this hardly get used unless I take a cab to go somewhere which is rare. DD only really uses the car seat when her grandma (on her dad's side) picks her up for the day. Today her grandma picked her up and DP took DD downstairs in the buggy and put the car seat in the back the usual rear facing way.

I'm nosy so I always look out my window to see what's going on and because the car seat is quite bulky so sometimes it's a struggle for DP to strap her in. Anyway! I saw a few words were exchanged and DP turned DD's car seat around so she was front facing and they got ready to drive off. I called him straight away and said she can't be that way in that type of car seat and they need to change her round. I said the seat belt goes around the back of the seat, you can't just have it across her lap and that he basically hadn't strapped her in properly. He said alright then changed it back the correct way. I could see his mum had a lot to say about it (surprise surprise).

I just texted him reminding him to make sure DD is always as safe as possible and to please not do that again. He said they did it because she cries when facing the seat which made me think maybe they've done this before(?) I'm planning to speak to him when he comes back (nothing serious, more of a 'you can't do that in this type of car seat' chat) but was starting to think if I've got it wrong or if I'm being unreasonable?

I don't have a car or drive so again I don't know the law regarding these things. I did have a look on Google and Gov and it seems that to be front facing you need a different type of seat and DC has to be above a certain weight but I'm starting to doubt myself especially as his mum had something to say. So tell me MN, AIBU here or just being 'precious?'

If I am, what's the correct way when it comes to car seats?

This is extremely dangerous and I wouldn’t be allowing the child to go in the car until I was confident they understood the seriousness and wouldn’t allow it to happen again. RF is critical until 2 and so much safer way beyond that. I RF mine until at least 4 and will continue as long as I can. There are plenty of RF blogs/FB groups etc for you to visit to read up the stats and reasons why. Google Internal Decapitation and report back to your husband.

Each car seat has weight limits. There are also certain seats in the model of car that it can / cannot go in, and methods to securely attach it. A 0+ car seat says up to 13kg and 15 months usually, but past 6 months it's unusual to see them used because they are really too small. It's time to upgrade. Nobody fitting a car seat should then use guesswork; use the instruction manual, check what seats can be used and fit it properly. Up to age 4 children should be rear facing but those larger seats then turn front facing; some people will turn the seat sooner, but it still needs to be properly secured.

It sounds like his mum is the older generation that thinks that holding a baby in the lap is also ok, because if there is a crash they would just hold them tight.

I would sit them both down with some crash test videos.

Years ago, chief fireman lived next door, he had a few photos of what happens to idiots who think holding a child on a lap is a good idea, takes a strong stomach to look, believe me,

@GettingItOutThere

my god i would not be able to forgive this. This isnt the first time, he actually knowingly put your daughter at risk and then smirked about it?!!

awful man. His mother would not be taking her out again thats for sure!

Yep this! I'm really not sure what to do about him, as for his mum she can see DD at my house and that's it

@Hellolittlestar

It sounds like his mum is the older generation that thinks that holding a baby in the lap is also ok, because if there is a crash they would just hold them tight.

I would sit them both down with some crash test videos.

His mum is only 50. My grandma is 69 and even she would know not to turn a rear facing only car seat, front facing. I guarantee his mum just wanted to see DD's face whilst driving. Not good enough tbh

Rear facing till 4 years is recommended. Alot of high atreet retailers now promote this.

I know alot of parents start forward facing children around the 8-12 months time when they start getting more vocal about things. DH and I had a debate about forward facing DD about 10 months as in his words "she doesnt like rear facing" my argument was "she may not like it but i'd rather she was alive and a bit grumpy, than dead!"

Shes still rear facing at 18 months and will be for quite some time to come.

And yes I do judge parents who forward face their children. It's irresponsible. But you know, their child, their problem.

@Antsinmypantsneedtodance if you've read the full thread or even the OP at all, you'll see this isn't a debate about rear facing vs front facing at all

@G5000

I'm really relaxed on the FF point and both of my kids were FF by 8m but in appropriate car seats.

Well sure, I'm old enough to remember my sister on the back seat in a moses basket, but I wouldn't call that appropriate.

Yes. Brought eldest DC home from hospital in a carry cot with collapsible sides!

Doesn't bear thinking about!

Do they know what damage an unsecured heavy object, such as an occupied baby seat could potentially do to them in the front of the car as well? If they were in a crash, the seat would keep going forward, potentially crushi g them and the baby.