@CounsellorTroi
Lapsed catholic here. The problem with many catholic clergy is that they personally have no experience of raising children. Or of looking after elderly parents. It was work done by obliging women. So they haven’t a clue, nor a clue, of what it’s like. It astonishes them that not all ‘wives’ want to do this labour. Because their mothers did and it was good enough for them.
This. Before my (Catholic) DMIL’s funeral DH and I were chatting to her priest. He asked about my own mother and I told him she had dementia. He asked if she still knew me and when I said yes he said “oh so she’s living with you is she?” When I said she was in a care home I could see his disapproval. The fact my mum knew who I was didn’t make her any easier to care for. We did it as long as we could but she had no idea where she was most of the time and didn’t recognise her marital home of 50 years,
This makes me so angry. So very angry.
I'm really sorry you were treated that way by someone who claims to preach love and care.
And people wonder why us lapsed catholics (or ones who were technically Catholic as children through family, but never believed - like me!)
Completely correct that care of any kind is seen as exclusively women's work, fuelled by fear, obligation and guilt. It's like witnessing an abusive relationship at times, I can now see.