Selling the family home- who gets what. Please help !

[Pinksparke]

Bob was with Sarah for 15 years . They have two children . They lived together in a big family home . Bob left when they split . The mortgage is in Bob’s name . Bob pays the mortgage .

Bob lives with his wife in their house with their son . Bob and wife pay the mortgage here . It is a financial struggle .

Sarah lives in the family home with Sarah and Bob’s children . Sarah is getting married and her new partner is moving in. Sarah’s partner is mortgage free ( he has a bungalow ) he will rent this to his son now that he is living in Bob and Sarah’s home .

Sarah wants half of the house when Bob sells it. Bob is happy to do this however Bob paid the deposit for the house from inheritance and is paying off £25k credit cards that Sarah and Bob racked up.

Should Bob still pay the mortgage when Sarah’s partner moves in?
Legally, does Bob have to wait until their youngest child is 18 before he can sell the family home ? Should Bob take off the deposit and half of credit card debit before he splits the profit from the house sale with Sarah ?
Legally does Bob have to give Sarah half ?

Bob pays the legal amount of child support and uniforms , shoes and extras . Kids stay with Bob 2 nights a week.

For clarification they were never married and house is solely in Bob’s name .

Can't vote on whether you're being unreasonable until I know if you are Sarah or Bob's wife. If I was Bob I would hope someone would tell me to stop being such a gentleman/doormat and sort out my financial affairs. Why can't Sarah and her new partner move into his mortgage free bungalow ? I assume his son is an adult and shouldn't expect to live there rent free. The large family house needs to be sold and Bob needs to make financial provision for his children with Sarah from the proceeds. Sarah should also receive a proportion in respect of her role in their relationship as a mother , homemaker and practical support for Bob while he was at work. Bobs new wife should not be having to subsidise her husbands ex and her new partner. There can be no clean start for anyone here until this is settled.Sarahs new partner appears to be the one hedging his bets here. If I was Sarah I'd be asking myself whether he is really committed to her given he's contributing so little

She's Bob's mum, tkwal

@OnaBegonia Sarah is a CF. She landed on her feet the day she met Bob! Gravy trains cannot run forever and she might have to get a job like the rest of us. Bob needs to get done legal advice and Sarah needs to start applying for a job

@CrimbleCrumble1

It’s refreshing to hear of a decent guy who is paying/providing more than the minimum for his DC. It’s time now for Sarah to stand on her own two feet.

This! Thank you Bob for not being a selfish arse.

Amazed the amount of people not respecting the contribution of a stay at home mum, to the family and thinking she and the kids should have lost their home in the split. However, it would seem from the info we have, that she has now had time to find her feet and get back into the work force (as assume she must have being paying her own bills)
So I would think some percentage, but not 50/50 at this point in the game. (Though if Bob left her cos he was already seeing his new wife and instantly got her pregnant...then the percentage I think Sarah should get, most definitely increases)
Making yourself financial vunerable in order stay home and raise children, that you decided to have together, is a massive act of trust, which too many people don't honour these days!!

Bob could ask Sarah and her partner to pay rent which might be able to cover the mortgage. Win-win, Sarah can stay in the house, Bob doesn't struggle.

@tkwal and @Jimjamjong exactly, there are a few options that could be explored. To make it more fair and so Bob isn’t bankrolling everyone

I had only seen the first 3 op posts....
Sounds like Bob has been fair and it is time for Sarah to stand on her own two feet.

I would say Bob should of sold the house sooner paid off there joint debts then give her half of what's left of the house equity. Even though it was you inheritance that paid the deposit if they didn't have any strings attached to pay it you back once they split or sell the house if they brought it together when they was a couple then this should also be split equally. If Bob leaves them in the house though I would say he should ask the partner for rent as it is his home and he should not have ro pay for another man living there so his son can have a free house. I would suggest he take legal advise on how to do that or come up with a fair agreement between them.

If Bob were to suddenly die Mrs Bob would inherit the house.

I think that Sarah's new partner should sell his bungalow and buy Bob out of his half of the house, including half of the debt and then everyone can stay where they are and live happily ever after( apart from Sarah's new partners son!)

Sarah is a CF and Bob doesnt and shouldnt give her any profit of the house

I think the house should be sold and the money should be split 50:50. Sarah and her new husband should then buy somewhere together.

50% of what's left after paying off the debts that is.

Bob is daft to effectively pay for Sarah's cock lodger while he coins in renting his home out.
Bob should grow a pair and sort out the mess so that it does not get any more complicated.
He either needs to make Sarah and new beau sign a rental agreement, move them on and sell the property and settle amicably with Sarah so they can financially plan without being permanently entwined.
Bob should set up provision for his kids maintenance and Sarah and new beau should provide for their new life together.

Everyone saying that Sarah isn’t entitled to anything what about the fact that she’s has 2 of Bob’s kids???

I am currently Stupid Sarah, my 7 year relationship is ending the mortgage is in his name, we have 2 kids, I’ve paid for Sky £100 every month pretty much all the shopping, everything for the kids including clubs, pocket money, dinner money and clothes and pretty much anything that makes a house a home.

Am I also not entitled to anything? At all? Not even to make sure my children have a roof over their heads till they are 18

Surely the fair thing is to assign the percentage of the value of the house that Bob paid for with the deposit, and that percentage applied to the current value goes to Bob. Then split the remaining value of the house 50:50. Once that's been calculated half of the debts come out of Sarah's 50% share which Bob uses to pay off the debt. The remaining value of the house is then Sarah's equity in the house.

She can either get a mortgage to cover the rest of the value of the house once her share has been calculated, or her new partner can put that amount into the house.

Anything else is taking the piss out of Bob, who could presumably take full ownership of the house as it's in his name.

However, that's my moral viewpoint, Bob should see a lawyer to ascertain the legal position. But he could still act morally and give Sarah some of the house. I'd want the settlement finalised now though before the new partner moves in.

Scottsy100 unfortunately you would only be entitled to child maintenance unless your DP is a Bob type.

Why are you all jumping on Sarah? Her name might not be in the deeds but she will have legal protection. They were together 15 years, they have children and it was Bobs choice to let her remain in the family home and pay the mortgage.

He needs to talk to Sarah, before getting solicitors involved., Bob is willing to split the house equity with her and continue to support his children, surely that should be his first course of action.

If she kicks off, that is when to get the solicitors involved, as I agree he shouldn’t have to continue paying her mortgage once she is married.

On a side note, if her new man is currently living there, Bob might suggest to Sarah that he pays rent 😉

Having children with no marriage license is risky even in this day and age

He either needs to sell his house and keep his money, or draw up a rental agreement for his ex and new partner, the current arrangement is a bit dangerous.

Sarahs been milking it long enough imo

Little bobby's mum probably needs to butt out and let Bob sort out his own issues.

I hope that whoever is doing the reckoning has accounted for the impairment to Sarah's pension and earning potential, having stayed home being primary carer for the kids.

Presumably Bob got something out of having a SAHM for his kids and could have voiced his displeasure if he disagreed. Or gone part time or being SAHD if he wanted Sarah to work??

Bob needs legal advice, and to discover what the CGT implications are for him when he comes to sell a house that he hasn't been living in - especially if he's contemplating charging rent

I think it’s Bob that needs the solicitor.

@Goawayangryman

Little bobby's mum probably needs to butt out and let Bob sort out his own issues.

I hope that whoever is doing the reckoning has accounted for the impairment to Sarah's pension and earning potential, having stayed home being primary carer for the kids.

Presumably Bob got something out of having a SAHM for his kids and could have voiced his displeasure if he disagreed. Or gone part time or being SAHD if he wanted Sarah to work??

You don't like men, do you?

She benefited from no rent, so could've put £3,600 per annum gross into her pension per annum, do you think she did?

Do you think little Sarah's mum is saying, you continue to stay home and make him pay for everything? I think that she might be doing that.

Little Sarah also had her own mind, could've said no to bring a SAHM?