Selling the family home- who gets what. Please help !

[Pinksparke]

Bob was with Sarah for 15 years . They have two children . They lived together in a big family home . Bob left when they split . The mortgage is in Bob’s name . Bob pays the mortgage .

Bob lives with his wife in their house with their son . Bob and wife pay the mortgage here . It is a financial struggle .

Sarah lives in the family home with Sarah and Bob’s children . Sarah is getting married and her new partner is moving in. Sarah’s partner is mortgage free ( he has a bungalow ) he will rent this to his son now that he is living in Bob and Sarah’s home .

Sarah wants half of the house when Bob sells it. Bob is happy to do this however Bob paid the deposit for the house from inheritance and is paying off £25k credit cards that Sarah and Bob racked up.

Should Bob still pay the mortgage when Sarah’s partner moves in?
Legally, does Bob have to wait until their youngest child is 18 before he can sell the family home ? Should Bob take off the deposit and half of credit card debit before he splits the profit from the house sale with Sarah ?
Legally does Bob have to give Sarah half ?

Bob pays the legal amount of child support and uniforms , shoes and extras . Kids stay with Bob 2 nights a week.

For clarification they were never married and house is solely in Bob’s name .

It's odd that you're Bob's mum yet one of your posts suggested Bob should stop paying child maintenance for your grandchildren because Sarah has a new partner. That isn't how it works and it's disappointing that a gran would be so quick to see her grandchildren as a financial burden to be passed on to a new partner.

There is absolutely no point asking for legal advice on the internet. Regardless of how involved you feel in their finances, you won't know everything. Plus the legal situation differs in different countries. No-one here knows the details of the financials or even the country Bob and Sarah live in. Their advice is useless.

No-one - not Bob, Sarah or your grandchildren - will thank you for interfering in this.

Can't Sarah and new partner buy Bob out by selling the Bungalow?

@SarahProblem

Can't Sarah and new partner buy Bob out by selling the Bungalow?

It sounds like Sarah and new partner aren't interested in giving Bob any money and don't forget, new partner's son wants a free house out of it too!

They both need legal advice. If they are not married and Sarah is not on the deeds she would only really be entitled to what she put in. However, considering Bob has been fine with this arrangement for 15 years he may have a job getting her and her partner out!

OP, I think your son has been very generous and caring to Sarah. But I agree with you that this generosity now has a cost, not just to him but to his new wife and child. Sarah has no rights over the house. She is entitled to child support as per CMS formula. I agree with others that the time has come for her to support her own standard of living and pay Bob rent or move out to somewhere she and her new partner can afford.

My children moved house due to divorce and they have survived it, as have millions of other kids.

Options:

1. Bob could have a formal tenancy agreement with Sarah and her new partner. This might entitle her to housing benefit (or universal credit these days). Drawbacks of this are that if she stops paying rent is is quite difficult and drawn-out to evict tenants, even more so if they include your own kids.

2. He could move back into the house with his new wife and child. This might result in fireworks and an unpleasant atmosphere for the kids.

3. He could put the house on the market and give Sarah and new partner notice to leave. This may be the neatest solution. He could promise via a solicitor's letter to gift her some of the proceeds once the house has sold and she has vacated, which may encourage her cooperation. This may encourage her cooperation. He does not legally owe her any of the house proceeds, so anything is a bonus. Morally, it may be appropriate to gift her enough to put down a 20% deposit on a small home. Remember she is marrying a home-owner so can combine resources.

4. Do nothing and build up resentment.

I also wonder what Sarah's new partner thinks is going on? Maybe he believes she owns the house? Bob needs to make sure he knows he is currently living there as his guest as he may otherwise be marrying her under false pretences which would be a disaster for the family unit as a whole when the lie comes out.

Bob should tell Sarah now she's not a single mother her and her new partner need to move out and get their own shared mortgage or buy Bob out, she is absolutely taking the piss out of him and he needs to seek legal advice now. X

They are not married. Sarah does not get anything. Sarah can move in to the bungalow with her new man. Bob can sell the house

I'd say Sarah is chancing her arm and Bob wants to get a good solicitor

Why can't Sarah's fiancé buy Bob out

Bob is a fool. And a fool and his money are easily parted.

@Ylfa

Bob should be more careful with his knob.

Why has he made even more children if he is struggling?

No doubt his partner was up for it too.

@RoyKentsChestHair

The only thing I can say for sure is that Bob should not be paying the mortgage on a house that Sarah’s new partner moves into while he rents his house out. Otherwise Bob is essentially subbing his ex’s new partner’s son with free rent!!

Sarah and Bob need to sever their financial ties if they’ve both moved on to new partners. The old arrangement worked when Sarah was a single mum and Bob was keeping a roof over his DCs heads.

I was Sarah. I never moved my DP in so my ex is still on my mortgage (although I pay it, my earnings aren’t high enough to actually get a mortgage, so he’s only on it in name really). Had I ever moved my DP into my home I would not have expected my ex to remain on it, much less pay for it, so that DP’s kids could get a free ride.

Are you expecting to get the house when the mortgage is paid off? Because, regardless of you paying it surely when it is paid off the house will be his...

Hilarious replies to Bob's wife.
Bob should have had a formal agreement in place when they split up.

Bob should be more careful with his knob

Maybe Sarah needs to be careful about what knob goes where too, contraception isn't a one way street.

Sarah and boyfriend need to buy the house off Bob - it’s his house.
He can give her a percentage but it sounds like he has given her more than enough over the years.

How does she think it’s acceptable to live rent/mortgage free?
Sounds like her new boyfriends a free loader too and wouldn’t surprise me if he’s only moving in so he can rent out his bungalow.

[quote kittensinthekitchen]@Offmyfence

Don't be mean. Maybe Bob is married to his mother. After all, we've heard of Sisterwives...[/quote]
😂

@Pinksparke

Bob works full time in the NHS. Bob’s wife works full time . Sarah does not work . Sarah’s boyfriend works part time as he is mortgage free on his bungalow.

I do hope when Sarah receives her share that if Sarah and her partner buy a property that Sarah will ensure her children are protected in regards to inheritance .

I will make no further comments now . This is my first post on Mumsnet . It has been eye opening and extremely helpful . Thank you .

Interesting how you know so much about Sarah's new bloke.

I smell a right busybody

TY @Pinksparke Mum of Bob the Generous.

There does seem to be an imbalance that Bob & Mrs Bob are both working, with a young family, mortgage to pay & in need of a bigger place, whilst by contrast Sarah has had a roof over head because of the children she shares with Bob, not worked for a salary & is about to marry & bring STBMrSunder her roof.

I agree with a PP that likely to STBMrS may not know the nitty gritty of the very informal arrangement between Bob & Sarah.

The abstract test is how open has Sarah been with STBMrS before they tie the knot.

If STBMrS knows everything & is happy to legally bind with Sarah through marriage, knowing that Sarah may not get a share of the house which is Bob’s & for the use of his children with Sarah, so be it. . But I would not be entirely surprised to find that STBMrS believes that Sarah owns half the house if not all of it, hence no compulsion for her to pay a mortgage. No way should Bob (& Mrs B) be subsidising Sarah & her STBH who are both capable of earning a living.

If Bob & Mrs Bob fancy another baby, a career break, or their financial circumstances change, Bob may have to make some tough decisions.
Bob needs really good legal advice & some estate planning so all his children are considered.

Sarah sounds lazy. She should have been training to work/looking for work. How often does Bob have the kids?

Sarah's new man is potentially being cheeky if he thinks that Bob should pay his mortgage while he benefits from renting out his own house!

Bob should see a lawyer to work out what's fair. So should Sarah, really.

I'm not surprised you're concerned, op.

Bob is definitely getting the bad end of things here. Bob owns the house Sarah does not. Bob could sell the house whenever he wanted to! Also Bob doesn't have to give Sarah any of the money as she isn't on the mortgage.

If Bob wants to give some money then his deposit and half the credit card should definitely be taken off the profit.

Does Sarah have squatter's rights

How old are Bob's children OP?

I also wonder if Sarah's new partner knows the full situation? The fact that Sarah is paying nothing may lead him to believe that she owns, and is mortgage-free such as he is. Knowing that Sarah has no assets of her own, I wonder if he is aware of the full potential implications of marrying her - the potential to take his bungalow away from his son, in the event of his death? He may assume that there is no issue as Sarah is planning to leave 'her' house to her children, and so his own son can eventually inherit the bungalow.

Bob sounds like he is trying to do the right thing, but I do feel some sympathy towards Mrs Bob - she is working with a young child, as they need to cover the expense of two mortgages, while her partners ex doesn't work, and is essentially living rent-free in a house that Mrs Bob is helping to subsidise (through her own marriage and joint finances to Bob).

The house Sarah is living must be increasing in value so it is an asset for Bob and Mrs Bob.

@logoutnow

Does Sarah have squatter's rights

I was wondering this. Surely if you’ve lived somewhere for so long rent free with no formal written agreement, there'll be some loop hole Sarah can use to either remain there, or get a percentage of the house proceeds. Has Sarah been maintaining the building, ie paying for repairs, new carpets, maybe new kitchen, garden landscaping, new fixtures and fittings etc? If so, she might be classed as having contributed financially to the property.

BOB WANTS TO GIVE SARAH HALF THE VALUE OF THE HOUSE

I missed that bit!
Bobs off his head!
If he wants to ensure his money goes to his kids he should give them the money. If he gives it to Sarah it could easily end up in her husbands hands and his kids seeing none of it.

Legal advice needed urgently. Why should Sarah get anything from the house? She could have worked over the last however many years and saved some deposit money / paid off some of the debts.

Sarah hasn't worked and lived rent free.