Selling the family home- who gets what. Please help !

[Pinksparke]

Bob was with Sarah for 15 years . They have two children . They lived together in a big family home . Bob left when they split . The mortgage is in Bob’s name . Bob pays the mortgage .

Bob lives with his wife in their house with their son . Bob and wife pay the mortgage here . It is a financial struggle .

Sarah lives in the family home with Sarah and Bob’s children . Sarah is getting married and her new partner is moving in. Sarah’s partner is mortgage free ( he has a bungalow ) he will rent this to his son now that he is living in Bob and Sarah’s home .

Sarah wants half of the house when Bob sells it. Bob is happy to do this however Bob paid the deposit for the house from inheritance and is paying off £25k credit cards that Sarah and Bob racked up.

Should Bob still pay the mortgage when Sarah’s partner moves in?
Legally, does Bob have to wait until their youngest child is 18 before he can sell the family home ? Should Bob take off the deposit and half of credit card debit before he splits the profit from the house sale with Sarah ?
Legally does Bob have to give Sarah half ?

Bob pays the legal amount of child support and uniforms , shoes and extras . Kids stay with Bob 2 nights a week.

For clarification they were never married and house is solely in Bob’s name .

Bob can give some of the equity to his dc. Sarah needs to get a job if both dc are at school. Her new husband could move them into his bungalow , he can’t simply move into the house owned by Bob!

I feel entitled to have a slight opinion being as I have bailed Bob and Sarah out many times over the years and without me passing on inheritance there is no way they could have afforded the deposit on the house or the legal fees for it

So financial support from you comes with strings attached, giving you a right to meddle?

If you disagree and don’t want to help then don’t. Doing so doesn’t give you the right to judge.

Sarah hasn't worked and lived rent free.

Yes a big drip feed just so we can know what an unlikable grifter she is.

Get Sarah out! Get sarah out!!

Bob needs to put house up for sale.

In the short term could sarah not start paying rent when her new dp moves in ao therefore covering mortgage and easing Bobs financial strain until the children are out of critical school years and then the house goes up for sale and Bob gives a lump sum or half etc
That way no children are moved in next few months , sarah has time to start planning what she will do , Bob and new wife have a little extra cash and if only a baby a small house for another 6 months or year would get them by

@BoredZelda anyone can judge and as a parent you will always look out for your child no matter how old they are
She isn't meddling anyway just asked on here how he stands

anyone can judge and as a parent you will always look out for your child no matter how old they are

Of course anyone can judge. But feeling entitled to do so because you helped your child out is not being a good parent. Being a good parent is supporting your adult children on how they fix their mistakes.

She isn't meddling anyway just asked on here how he stands

You think she’s said none of this to her son?

@Pinksparke

You really need to get Bob to understand Sarah could take legal possession of the house if he continues to bury his head in the sand. england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/possession_and_eviction/eviction_of_squatters/squatters_acquiring_ownership_through_adverse_possession.

This is a drawn out process. But she would succeed in getting the house if he doesn’t object. If he objected but failed to evict her, she would also succeed.

Once in possession of the house, if Sarah died, she could give the house to her then husband disinheriting your grandchildren.

As for what is fair, I don’t agree with taking the original amount back gifted and 50/50. It should be taking the original amount as a percentage. Eg if the deposit represented 30% of the house value then but only 5% now, Bob should ring fence 30%. Then remove capital repayments since the split. Then if Bob is feeling generous, giving 50% to Sarah.

@BoredZelda

Sarah hasn't worked and lived rent free.

Yes a big drip feed just so we can know what an unlikable grifter she is.

@BoredZelda - having worked for solicitors for a few years (and heard various divorce/matrimonial cases) I know exactly how the wife/husband can be painted badly.

As I said before, I'm sure Sarah's side of the story would be very enlightening here...

having worked for solicitors for a few years (and heard various divorce/matrimonial cases) I know exactly how the wife/husband can be painted badly.

As I said before, I'm sure Sarah's side of the story would be very enlightening here..

It's funny how people are always very quick to say "ooh, I'd love to hear her side of the story" when it appears that a women is being unreasonable, but no one ever says that when it's a woman claiming a man is being unreasonable or taking the piss. Her word is always taken at face value...

OP, it sounds like your son has been more than generous, but to echo all the other posters, he needs legal advice. I think it's admirable that he wants to ensure Sarah, but most importantly his children, are provided for, but this shouldn't come at the expense of his own finances, especially if Sarah and her fiancé are perfectly capable of providing for themselves.

@BoredZelda

Sarah hasn't worked and lived rent free.

Yes a big drip feed just so we can know what an unlikable grifter she is.

What an appalling comment this is.

OP has every right to an opinion and to express that to her son. It appears it was OP's capital at the outset in any event.

To not secure the property for her son would impact upon her son's ability to house himself, and his and his new family's standard of living. Partly he is in trouble, I presume, because he is paying the mortgage on a property he doesn't live in.

If her were my client I would be advising him that he could force through the sale of the house and could do what he wanted with the proceeds. That would sit fine with me. There are two households here. One contains two adults, one of whom has never worked and the other works only part time, and has so much money they can afford to house their adult child in their other home. I know who comes across as the grifter and it's not OP's son.

Presumably, he is not paying all of Sarah's mortgage. She is only entitled to child maintenance for the proportion of time child lives with her. If she wants the house, she needs to buy him out. If mortgage is in his name, she really needs to be paying him rent.

OP youve raised a son who takes his responsibility to his children seriously, you should e proud of that. Ignore the judgemental comments on here, you are obviously trying to get some perspective and look out for everyone.

Sarah should pay her half to the morgage and her new partner the other half in rent to Bob. Draw up an agreement once youngest child is eighteen the house is sold. Bob takes his half plus deposit and Sarah half of the card debts with the remainder to Sarah.

I would say Sarah’s fucked and bob needs a solicitor

Sarah is living the fucking dream isn't she?! Holy moly 😳😱🤣
Bob should DEFINITELY take ALL the debt (not just half!), and the deposit off Sarah's 'profit' when the house is sold! Why is she not contributing at all towards the mortgage now that Bob doesn't live there?? Does she work? Has she ever contributed?!

New partner should most definitely not get to join Sarah in living the life of Riley for free at Bob's expense, he should 100% be contributing towards the house!

Jesus, Bob, you poor little pushover. Now you're paying for a second house with your new kid and woman?! 😭😭😭

Sarah is living off Bob. Poor Bob

@CandyLeBonBon

If Sarah and Bob were never married and the mortgage is in Bob's name, afaik (not a lawyer) Sarah is not entitled to anything from the house? But yes, they need proper legal advice

This is in incorrect Sarah Is entitled to have her contrition both financially and support wise, bringing up family etc, taken into consideration

Bob is a mug and needs a, solicitor. If Sarah thinks it is, okay to move a new partner into the house that is being paid for by her ex, she needs to get a life. Children will have a claim but not nec Sarah. It is different if married. Since not married, Ex is onto buttons unless she goes to court

Seek a solicitor , and yes I think bob should get the deposit back and half the cc bill

Try Bob sells his share of the house to Sarah's partner. Sarah gets her share and stays in her home plus kids do not have to move. Sarah's partner needs to work out how committed he is to Sarah and her kids

Sarah’s taking the piss. Bob needs a solicitor

The house where Sarah lives is 100% Bob's. He could evict Sarah. English law.

Unfortunately I think Sarah isn’t entitled to anything as they were not married. However I have a friend like Sarah who isn’t on the mortgage but put half of the deposit and pays for all the bills and food whilst her partner pays the big mortgage, they are 50/50 in everything. But it does worry her that in the event they broke up what would happen as they are not married, they have three children (1 each and 1 between them). I find it very insulting that the government say you are classed as a married couple if you live like one, and can’t claim any help financially however if someone dies and your not married, then your life together means jack shit in the eyes of the law