Middle Class/Upper middle class most frugal with money (in a good way!)

[Montana7]

Out of our friends with dc the same age as ours the most middle class & upper middle seem to be the most frugal & love a bargain.. Many are very high earners yet dc wear second hand clothes, uniforms, the families are very good with food & pride themselves on zero waste... Have great holidays think safaris, multiple ski trips pre covid but always prided themselves on getting the best deals... I think its bloody brilliant & after realising how much disposable cash DH & I fritter away especially around Christmas I aspire to be more frugal... Aibu to suggest the mc/umc appreciate the value of money more or is it just the ones we know...

I'm not tight, just don't really see the point in wasting money on shite I don't need.

This. I give more money to charity than I spend on nail varnish....

We've never been on a six figure income and have a lovely home in a nice location, two rental properties, savings, no mortgages, been on lots of luxury holidays, always had a decent car, never had to be tight or frugal. I guess some people are just more financially savvy than others.

@ariela Surely the vets bills alone are high?

People with money taking all the decent clothes when they could just as easily fuck off to John Lewis or Whistles
Again, it's all about labels. I doubt you'd find a very nice label suit in a charity shop for £10. The cheapest suit would probably be one from Asda. There are however used Asda suits in charity shops for maybe £10 that people are not fighting for.

@Fimofriend Absolutely. My mobile phone is over 4 years now. I did contemplate getting a new one in the pre-christmas sales. Could have afforded it without concerns but I just couldn't do it whilst mine is still working just fine and it's neither an iPhone or a Samsung!

Friends with much less income have no issues replacing their phone every 2 years and pay over £40 a month. I pay £6 at the moment. Much rather put my money towards my pension and retiring earlier. I'm sure I'll be told my quite a few how lucky I am to be able to do so.

FFS people looking down on others because unlike them they wear nail varnish. I have heard it all now. Nail varnish costs less than a takeaway coffee once a week.

@vivainsomnia I too have an old mobile phone like most of my friends. But I only use it for social media and whatsupp. Why would I need to update it? I don't see that as particularly a thing to boast about.

FFS people looking down on others because unlike them they wear nail varnish. I have heard it all now. Nail varnish costs less than a takeaway coffee once a week.

I'm not looking down on anyone, I'm explaining my preferences. I don't need it so I dont buy it. you do you and that's fine?

I think it's highly unfair to castigate the middle classes for shopping in charity shops as one poster has done.

The charity shops I go to are in a leafy mc area - beside Waitrose FGS. If I don't buy things there then I doubt a hoard of genuinely needy people will suddenly descend on the shop and the charity will make less money. Besides I tend to buy things like a dress to wear to a wedding usually around the £20-25 mark for second hand Monsoon outfit. Good for the environment and for my wallet.

My point is not really about class, I just think some people are less bothered about having stuff, or about having fashionable clothes, makeup or decor. I think it's easier not to spend as much if those things just don't interest you.

@DeepaBeesKit

FFS people looking down on others because unlike them they wear nail varnish. I have heard it all now. Nail varnish costs less than a takeaway coffee once a week.

I'm not looking down on anyone, I'm explaining my preferences. I don't need it so I dont buy it. you do you and that's fine?

I dont buy nail varnish either. I don't think it is even worthy of comments.

How do you know they wear second hand stuff? All clothes look the same once they've been through the wash a few times. My kids wear second hand stuff as standard (a friend just bought DC1 a 2nd hand jumper for his birthday) but no-one knows unless its brought up. The friend who bought the 2nd hand jumper is the one who off-loads her kids clothes on to me! But other people don't know. We can afford new, I just don't see the point when 2nd hand is perfectly good.

My sister can't really afford new, but her kids NEVER wear 2nd hand. This is because her partner only ever had second hand, slightly too small clothes as a kid and its really affected him, so I totally understand he never wants his kids to feel that way. My sister is a brilliant bargain hunter though and gets good deals on household stuff and holidays etc.

I think when you have money, you can afford to be better with money - buy a bulk lot of decent second hand clothes, rather than cheaper ones piece by piece, buy a decent pair of winter boots that last a few seasons than ones which fall apart quickly etc. I certainly don't think those less well off waste money.

@DeepaBeesKit

I presume you do take holidays if you earn well? It's hilarious that you thought to mention books, but not holidays.

We take relatively cheap holidays. We go camping in the UK and to inexpensive UK self catered.

Well, that is obviously because owning a library of books suggests you have a brain; holidays do not.

Somebody mentioned people who decorate and replace “matchy matchy” cushions every few years. That is a dead giveaway. People who are truly middle class or upper class, in terms of having certain values, would never do this. You should acquire furniture or buy decent stuff.

@DeepaBeesKit I don't care about fashion or grooming either. Do you spend money on decent clothes? In otherwords do you still spend the money on how you look but in different ways that fits more with your social class?

@RoyalFamilyFan

We eat out as a family once a week. It costs us £30-£40 in total. Sounds like some of you would sneer at us eating out so regularly. But it really improves our family life having that time out every week for a long relaxed meal - teenagers, not little kids. Quality of life matters too.

£30 for a meal for a family of at least 4? I’m intrigued.

@PenguinIce

I do find it strange how:

Middle class people who buy their children second hand clothes but go on fancy holidays are frugal and something to aspire to. Yet lower class people who buy their children second hand clothes but have an iPhone haven’t ‘got their priorities right’ and should be shamed.

Quite.

I also think there is a class performance smugness involved with a couple of people I know who are like this. Eg "oh no we don't waste money on brand new labels like the foolish paupers, we CARE about the environment!" jets off on long haul holiday

Well, that is obviously because owning a library of books suggests you have a brain; holidays do not
No, its because I have a sentimental attachment to the uk place I was taken as a child and love to take my own children on holiday there.

Do you spend money on decent clothes? In otherwords do you still spend the money on how you look but in different ways that fits more with your social class?

Hmm. I'm not really sure what social class I am. I have 2 young kids so I live in inexpensive black leggings and quite old shirts.

I suppose some people would think theres a class or income thing in that I can afford to buy (for example) a nice outfit for a wedding or a job interview if I should need one.

You should acquire furniture or buy decent stuff.

I'm terrible at buying furniture. We've had the same knackered sofas for ages!

Trust me, no one is more frugal than the person who lives on benefits or a zero hours contract and doesn't know how they're going to pay their next electricity bill.

When I went back to work as a single parent, paying a fortune in childcare I basically lived on lentils, walked everywhere and bought myself nothing. Bit insulting to say the UMC who have horses and go skiing, understand the value of money better than me just because they wear 2nd hand clothes. Goady even.

@rookiemere I mean fair point, I didn’t mean at all to come off like I disapprove of buying second hand - I do it and I can afford new. I also give a lot away to charity shops and to a home start type charity that helps young mums. It’s more the self congratulatory buying second hand so we can spend more on the horses, that riles me a little bit- it’s the denial that it’s a privelege, not the difference between your kids having decent winter boots when it’s snowing by getting them for £2.50 in Oxfam and being able to put money on the electric.
My partner only buys clothes from Vinted now really. He does it because they have brands he likes for cheaper but he still pays more than if we were literally skint and he had no choice but to buy from charity shops or primark

@BeefSupreme perfectly possible. Not at all posh 0bviously, but it forces us all to spend time and talk to each other and that is its value.

PenguinIce to answer your question.. its because a middle class person who dressess dc in secondhand but goes to the ski slopes may be percieveing that as a value added thing.. a councoius tribe choice to be frugal / re cycling clothes .. and the holiday also value added.. sport/ new experiences / meeting people.. all seen as good .

When , as you say a wc person dresses dc in second hand ,and buys an i phone..( your eg not mine !) Its seen as less good is because an i phone has no added value of things that are valued (as in the middle class holiday..)as its sat on a phone rather than adventure/ sport/ fresh air .. therefore the judegement may come from and is a stament about what you value .. probably in both cases ?
For eg . I do not value phones or dishwashers. We did have a horse. All my money went on that horse .. no holidays , clothes etc. Its what yiu value. It was to provide dc with a passion, fresh air , delay her from.going off with boys (!)
Re the wc thing v mc thing.. i think some wc people get judged for their choices without understanding . I worked in public services for many years. Often the sterotype of the benefits mum with nails and lashes but no money for food was absouteltelty accurate.. that was , for some,because the more poor a person was the more pressure to appear extemally not to be was the case.
Wereas the circles i mixed in . Think... green party , veggi, trendy part of the city.. dc wore second hand as either they didnt need to prove anything/ were tribe signaling / virture signalling .. it was NOTcool at all to buy yr dc new clothes or phone s.. Dc at school all had violins etc.. in fact our dc was looked at a bit odd for liking football and wearing a football shirt.. most ds were rugby and skaters .
Intresting stuff. I only wanted to answer yr question but ranted on !

Trust me, no one is more frugal than the person who lives on benefits or a zero hours contract and doesn't know how they're going to pay their next electricity bill.

No. That's a person who should be frugal. Not necessarily a person who is frugal.

@CSJobseeker

People spend money on objects that lose value. SIL, spends a fortune on makeup (£250 pm), gadgets, etc. These expenditures have zero intrinsic value.

This month I've exchanged some current electronic goods, speakers and amp, upgraded by selling mine and buying second hand.

Why are your SIL's gadgets a waste of money, while yours are sensible purchases that you can sell on? This makes no sense, so it's just you being judgemental.

my vehicle is a business expense (Tax relief)

You must be aware that putting a car through your business simply isn't an option for most people.

Because hi-fi equipment holds its value, so for instance, I've sold one set of speakers for more than I bought them for and upgraded to another set that has found a new price point. It's cost me very little in up-lift.

The vehicle for a business expense doesn't happen by accident, it's by my own design or actions. You can either control your own earnings/tax liability or let the government and an employer decide.

They bought a brand new running machine to lose weight, why not buy a pair of used running shoes from eBay and go outdoors. The machine is just sitting there.
It's like her clothes, they make no difference to her appearance at all.
'Nicer' clothes for the kids are just a myth that exists in a person's head.

FWIW I used to help on a charity stall at events like 'Summer Fayres' etc and IME the hardest hagglers were in the poshest towns. Of course, it's equally true that they might have been struggling to keep up with the Joneses.

Everyone I know who buys lots of second-hand clothes spends lots of time browsing charity shops. TBH unless it was a hobby I enjoyed, I don't have the time.