Middle Class/Upper middle class most frugal with money (in a good way!)

[Montana7]

Out of our friends with dc the same age as ours the most middle class & upper middle seem to be the most frugal & love a bargain.. Many are very high earners yet dc wear second hand clothes, uniforms, the families are very good with food & pride themselves on zero waste... Have great holidays think safaris, multiple ski trips pre covid but always prided themselves on getting the best deals... I think its bloody brilliant & after realising how much disposable cash DH & I fritter away especially around Christmas I aspire to be more frugal... Aibu to suggest the mc/umc appreciate the value of money more or is it just the ones we know...

Yes, my in laws are completely like this. They are generous but live fairly simply themselves in their £2m plus london town house. And their other house in the countryside. They were lucky enough to be boomers though and buy these properties for not very much compared to today's prices, in the 70s. No way could they have afforded a camden 5 bed house now on the jobs they did then!

@Mountaingoat12

And the whole idea of buying a new pair of matching Christmas pjs every year for the family? Why? What a terrible waste of the worlds resources as well as cash!

But your hobbies and travel are obviously not wasteful of resources in any way?

I grew up in a middle class environment and DH in a working class one and it's interesting to note our different attitudes to money - we're upper middle earners now I'd say.

So he likes to have a flash car ( maybe this is a gender rather than a class thing) and reasonably up to date iphone etc. He also doesn't seem keen when I buy second hand clothes either for me or DS ( but DS won't accept the neighbours hand me downs any more anyway). He doesn't want to spend much on food and feels we should eat cheaply whereas I'd rather pay more and eat higher quality stuff. He's also continuously looking for ways to improve our house.

I like to spend money on holidays and anything that DS needs and that's about it. I'm much more wedded to having savings than he is - although a lot goes into his pension.

If I were to summarise it he spends more on stuff that other people see, whereas I spend on the things I want to do.

@JorisBohnson2 Just to say most people could not afford a 5 house in Camden back then either. I know it has increased in price out of proportion to its cost back then, but it still wasn't affordable to most people.

These threads always bring out the worst of MC sneering.

"If I were to summarise it he spends more on stuff that other people see, whereas I spend on the things I want to do."

So it's a search for status for him.
Don't other people see your expensive holidays though?

The problem with buying 2nd hand because its seen as a virtue by the middle and upper classes means that charity shops have on average upped their prices, this has priced a lot of the genuinely needy out, so its all well the 'virtuous' making a stand on fast fashion but without Primark a lot of families would be in a worse situation

I don't see that as particularly a thing to boast about
It's nothing to do with boasting. It's not something I discuss in real life.

I'm arguing against posters who insists that those who can afford things don't spend the money on them just because they can feel pride in it. I do it because I don't see the necessity of it and would be a waste of money, that's all. I don't require validation for my choices.

@NdujaWannaDance

Trust me, no one is more frugal than the person who lives on benefits or a zero hours contract and doesn't know how they're going to pay their next electricity bill.

No. That's a person who should be frugal. Not necessarily a person who is frugal.

How patronising. Bit hard to splurge when you literally have nothing.

I kind of agree OP. This is a mass generalisation but one thing I have found is those with middle/upper class it's not that they are more frugal/value money more. But they have had better financial/general education. They end up in the best schools/ mix with the 'right people'/taught more about how to earn money/savings/investments/ how to run a business/ see a wider job market from their parents.

I have friends from both economic backgrounds. Many of my less financially well off friends are in debt/low paid jobs never went to Uni/college. One recently shocked me by her lack of understanding of mortgages how to get one. I agree from a PP above who works in debt management they spend a fortune they don't have at times like Christmas.
My well off friends all went to uni/parents in well paid jobs and just seem to make smarter decisions financially.

I’m like this at the moment. I earn over three figures. However, I’m waiting to relocate though in a overpriced rented house. It looks awful and the furniture is all second hand and falling apart. I go to the school run looking a complete bag lady as feeling a bit down and WFH! I run a tiny car now 7 years old with a couple of dents. I swear people at the school think I’m on the bread line. The reception ladies all look at me with pity and ask about free school meals etc. On saying that may depend on your background if you grow up not in money per say what actually makes you middle class?

@JustAnotherPoster00 it depends where you get second hand from though really! Not many mums I know go to charity shops all use Facebook, vinted or ebay! Still secondhand still cheap!

Upper class and middle-class people also advertise their status, just in different ways. I can tell from looking at people who in my area has money from the clothes and haircuts. Yes a jumper may have a hole in it. But you can still tell it is an expensive jumper and not from ASDA. You can tell someone has had a good haircut and not cut their hair themselves.
I cut not own hair and have an ASDA jumper with a hole in it I wear sometimes. No one has ever mistaken me as a member of the aristicracy.

I've also noticed people saying they're "not rich, just prioritise education" when sending their kids to private school. As though it's a choice for everyone.

I'm far from poverty earning £27k pa. I still couldn't choose to "prioritise" sending my daughter to private school. I feel like some people on Mnet are so far removed from the realities of ordinary working class people.

@Ninkanink

It’s much easier and more palatable to be frugal when it’s a choice. It’s also much easier and more palatable when you already have everything you need and an abundance more. Frugality in the little things feels really good when you can comfortably afford to pay for the big things.

this

It's easy to be frugal when you know you could actually have fillet steak and lobster every week. You also don't mind appearances if other people know you're loaded. Well-worn Burberry is always going to look better than new Primark.

I don't think we are frugal exactly but perhaps just different spending priorities and trying to avoid waste.
I prioritize spending on; property, horses, pensions, insurance, holidays, good quality footwear, coats, select work wear ( Reiss/LK Bennett but for client meetings only), jewellery (no fakes!), decent hair dresser, good quality local meat.
I minimise spend on; DC clothing as they grow out of it so 90% second hand, cars only get what is practical and cost effective, general clothes (live in cheap T shirts and leggings unless seeing clients), beauty treatments (pointless IMO), magazines, general groceries (Tesco/Aldi are fine).
I don't care what anyone else spends their money on. None of my business. I don't care what anyone thinks I look like and don't feel I have to justify any of my purchases either. I'm a bit cliche according to this thread as in I am that person who's gone straight from the stable to supermarket in a holey jumper, hay in her hair but wearing £300 boots.

@KeyErro

IME they're a lot stingier with anything they don't think is justifiable expenditure, eg don't get bounced into putting money into collections at work, bring sandwiches to events rather than paying food truck prices and especially don't pay for flashy designer brands etc. They focus more on their enjoyment and the quality of the experience than looking good/rich.

This is us completely. We wear hand me downs including shoes from neighbours or family sometimes. Always bring a packed lunch in outings and day trips. Extremely rare to buy a designer brand and even when we do it’s for the kids- never for us adults. But we spend thousands and thousands on holidays, trips and experiences.

I don't think it's anything to do with class. Some people choose to spend their money on branded items and others are happy with cheaper own brand things.
I don't covet so called designer clothes but my friend won't be seen in anything without a label.
We spend money differently and have different priorities. Some live for now and are worried how others perceive their wealth and status, others don't.
I like to get value from my money to make it go further and save for a nice stress free financial future and retirement. My friend on the other hand would always be down to his last penny at the end of the month even if they were paid double what they earn now.

How patronising. Bit hard to splurge when you literally have nothing.

Not patronising at all. What is patronising is to paint all poor people as saints who never make bad financial decisions and have skewed priorities.

Some people are just terrible with money and that includes some poor people.

Plenty of people manage to splurge on things when they have very little money to splurge, which is why payday loans and Klarna do so well.

Are you telling me if I went and spoke to every person crying about their rent arrears I wouldn't find anyone with a recent expensive fake tan, tattoo, a set of acrylic nails, or a gambling habit?

I'm not saying all people who are very hard up deserve to be.

I'm saying that some people who are quite hard up make their own life worse by prioritising the wrong things.

@BillyCongo

I don't think we are frugal exactly but perhaps just different spending priorities and trying to avoid waste. I prioritize spending on; property, horses, pensions, insurance, holidays, good quality footwear, coats, select work wear ( Reiss/LK Bennett but for client meetings only), jewellery (no fakes!), decent hair dresser, good quality local meat. I minimise spend on; DC clothing as they grow out of it so 90% second hand, cars only get what is practical and cost effective, general clothes (live in cheap T shirts and leggings unless seeing clients), beauty treatments (pointless IMO), magazines, general groceries (Tesco/Aldi are fine). I don't care what anyone else spends their money on. None of my business. I don't care what anyone thinks I look like and don't feel I have to justify any of my purchases either. I'm a bit cliche according to this thread as in I am that person who's gone straight from the stable to supermarket in a holey jumper, hay in her hair but wearing £300 boots.

Sounds like a lot of expensive spending choices to me.

@CallMeNutribullet

I've also noticed people saying they're "not rich, just prioritise education" when sending their kids to private school. As though it's a choice for everyone.

I'm far from poverty earning £27k pa. I still couldn't choose to "prioritise" sending my daughter to private school. I feel like some people on Mnet are so far removed from the realities of ordinary working class people.

Yes - and the fact that they use 'prioritise education' as a code (rather than just admitting "We spend our money on X"), means that their claims to 'not have two pennies to rub together' are really misleading.

I prioritise experiences = I spend my money on holidays
We prioritise education = We send our children to private school

I'd wish they'd just be honest - they have a lot of money, and choose to spend it in certain ways. It doesn't make them virtuous, or special, or better than the person on minimum wage who treats themselves to a takeaway once a week.

The person on minimum wage who never takes a holiday will almost certainly have a far lower carbon footprint than the UMC person dressed in rags who goes skiing and on safari every year.

@CSJobseeker that is it in a nutshell. It is coded language as virtue signalling.

@Mountaingoat12

And the whole idea of buying a new pair of matching Christmas pjs every year for the family? Why? What a terrible waste of the worlds resources as well as cash!

Well it is if you bin them three days later. However my kids will be in their Christmas pj's until they don't fit. And if they're still decent theyll be sold on. Christmas jumpers were all matching, all second hand, all will be resold

The level of sneering at the plebs here is hilarious.