Middle Class/Upper middle class most frugal with money (in a good way!)

[Montana7]

Out of our friends with dc the same age as ours the most middle class & upper middle seem to be the most frugal & love a bargain.. Many are very high earners yet dc wear second hand clothes, uniforms, the families are very good with food & pride themselves on zero waste... Have great holidays think safaris, multiple ski trips pre covid but always prided themselves on getting the best deals... I think its bloody brilliant & after realising how much disposable cash DH & I fritter away especially around Christmas I aspire to be more frugal... Aibu to suggest the mc/umc appreciate the value of money more or is it just the ones we know...

5 plus years old is not really old to many people
a pedicure is not really a basic
ditto brows possibly even hair ( although I draw the line at that 😂 )

I'm too clumsy to do my own hair and brows, really wouldn't be worth the distress...

The other problem with this 'frugality' people are talking about here...if everyone with decent incomes poured money into assets and spends nothing else, what about the local economy and high streets? I rather like our local independent pubs, cafes, restaurants, takeaways, shops. I'm happy to use disposable income to support them.

I consider much middle class frugality to be stinginess, sorry.

The rich live as if they are poor. The poor live as if they are rich.

I heard this online. Quite possibly mumsnet!

We eat out as a family once a week. It costs us £30-£40 in total. Sounds like some of you would sneer at us eating out so regularly. But it really improves our family life having that time out every week for a long relaxed meal - teenagers, not little kids.
Quality of life matters too.

Oh dear. I think I'm one of the people you're describing. (No horses though).

We stretched ourselves very, very thin to get our beautiful old house but we all walk around in second hand everything, we shop in Lidl (apart from when I simply must go to Waitrose, darling) and I regularly find myself rinsing out jars and old butter tubs because I can't bear to throw something away until it's falling apart. 😳

It's not our fault. It's how we were raised. I spent my childhood freezing to death in an underheated 5 bedroom Victorian country pile. We ate a lot of jam sandwiches and my school uniform came from the car boot.
My parents used to think those little aluminium tins that pies came in were superb and saved them all for reuse.

I'd just like to add that I've never been on safari. Apart from the ones that charge you £20 per car and have a fun fair at the end.

Why have I now got Common People by Pulp going round in my head?

I agree that some rich people are simply mean.

I have a brother and a sister like this.

Both millionaires in assets (plus houses worth more than a million) and both have more coming in each month than they spend. Both retired but were well off before retirement.

Both can be very generous, so long as it is on their own terms - which is fair enough.

Both can account for every penny they spend.

I will never have much money, I'm retired on state pension and a very small private pension. Following their example of accounting for every penny spent I have succeeded in saving small amounts each month (though how much of that is down to covid restrictions I am not sure). I never had time to do that before retirement though (or thought I didn't anyway)

@Ninkanink

It’s much easier and more palatable to be frugal when it’s a choice. It’s also much easier and more palatable when you already have everything you need and an abundance more. Frugality in the little things feels really good when you can comfortably afford to pay for the big things.

This with bells on. It’s very easy to be frugal when you have money.

I know this type - live in a big house with flash cars and holidays but not a scrap of decent food in the
fridge..."we're not that rich" is how they speak condicendingly to the little people like their cleaner, nanny etc
Everything is for outward show without actually having to say anything to brag. They're aren't actually that rich because they are slaves to their incomes. If they lose their jobs they can't compete with other social climbing brayers like themselves.

TBH class really confuses me.

The two ends of the class spectrum are pretty obvious, Aristocracy at one end and those on benefits in temporary housing at the other. The big bit in the middle is a lot more of a grey area though.

I realise that me and my type are tedious. Other users are right: It's a nice little hobby to be frugal when you don't have to be. 😕

I've got loads of disposable income (six figure salary in the north with no kids), but wear secondhand clothes, drive an old beemer, have a small house, rarely go abroad on holiday, and have never had my nails done. None of these things really hold any value to me, and as I can easily afford them, the appeal just isn't there. I'm not tight, just don't really see the point in wasting money on shite I don't need.

@araiwa

You're not being frugal if you keep horses ffs

Disagree! I did the sums when a friend said 'oh we'd love our two to have ponies but can't afford it ' At the time we kept ponies for my DD on less per year than a friend spent on just one all inclusive holiday per year. Now we have horses on very cheap farm livery, DD1 pays far far less than anywhere else.

Oh God, not this old shit again about how the upper class have motheaten clothes and muddy Labradors and don't fritter their money away on big tellies like common people.

@Winebottle

I think if you are used to spending all your income because you live hand to mouth and then come in to a bit of money, you are more likely to "fritter" it away than people who grew up with money.

Footballers and lottery winners tend to live less frugal than the upper classes.

On a smaller scale, my uncle who has been skint his entire live inherited a couple of hundred thousand and spend it quickly.

I'm not sure it is better or worse. A lot is different spending preferences. I drive a cheap car and fritter money away over Xmas because that's how I prefer to spend my money. If I was an extreme couponer for five years, maybe I could buy a range rover but I don't want a range rover.

Similarly, there is more of a dynastic attitude to leaving money behind among upper classes which is understandable if you have inherited a lot of money yourself.

Funny you mention footballers.. The dc of a well known footballer goes to a private school near my dc & attends some of my dc's activities. Absolutely lovely kids, they scream money as does the mom, huge Chelsea tractor, kids in designer labels, perfectly braided hair & sports equipment. The mum is beautiful, immaculate & lovely. They are so different in appearance to our friends attending the same school!

I'd say it's relative, what may appear frugal may not be a priority - although them thinking they're being zero waste is fucking stupid.

Horses and holidays are a priority, cars, household etc aren't.

What's important to you OP? If it's important, I wouldn't say it's frittered. If a huge family Christmas with meals, presents etc is a huge priority to you then that's what's important.

You're not being frugal if you keep horses ffs

I think the point is that they don't get caught up in rampant consumerism and the temptation to jump on the bandwagon of every branded craze or trend. And that they don't waste money on low-priority nonense.

@limitedperiodonly

Oh God, not this old shit again about how the upper class have motheaten clothes and muddy Labradors and don't fritter their money away on big tellies like common people.

Yes, I'm getting sick of hearing this on Mumsnet.

@79andnotout

I've got loads of disposable income (six figure salary in the north with no kids), but wear secondhand clothes, drive an old beemer, have a small house, rarely go abroad on holiday, and have never had my nails done. None of these things really hold any value to me, and as I can easily afford them, the appeal just isn't there. I'm not tight, just don't really see the point in wasting money on shite I don't need.

My philosophy exactly. Aside from the old beemer. Books however are my fall down. Secondhand ones. Luckily I do a bit of wheeling and dealing if I find a bargain I don't want to keep I'm not averse to selling to pay for more!

You're not being frugal if you keep horses ffs

If you keep horses, you might have to be frugal! (In all others areas of life)

I wouldn't say we are rich by MN standards but good earners compared to many in our town both with professional level jobs.

We do go on several holidays a year (not safaris but ski trips and a summer hol)and buy stuff second hand for DS and shop around for a bargains including bills.

I would say its because of what is important to us which is holidays rather then new cars, latest fashions, expensive TV packages or buying new clothes for DS which he just trashes at nursery anyway!

Ways we save for this are regularly examining bills, food shop online, buy meat packs from the butcher in bulk which we freeze. Get rid of unnecessary subscriptions if we don't use it regularly it gets cancelled. Having cheap sim only deals and not upgrading phones (we will buy refurbished handsets if needed). We deliberately bought a car in a certain age bracket which was zero tax for the year and we save up to buy rather then finance etc

I suppose people may think we live frugally but it depends what you like doing. We are both high rate taxpayers and have after tax income of £10k a month but would never dream of spending money on any of the following:

Sky tv
Dying hair - basic cut once every 3 months is all I can bear - I cannot stand spending time at hairdressers!
Buying a car on finance - our ancient estate is fine. I can see why people may need to buy on finance if they haven’t got £10k in savings to out lay at any one point, but why people buy new cars on finance otherwise I have no idea.
Brows / teeth whitening / fake tan / spa / tattoos. No thanks.
‘Designer’ clothes. Boden yes, Chanel no. I’ve never spent more than £50 on a handbag.
I’ve never done a deliveroo etc.

We spend money on hobbies, travel etc instead and are saving to retire early.

And the whole idea of buying a new pair of matching Christmas pjs every year for the family? Why? What a terrible waste of the worlds resources as well as cash!

I presume you do take holidays if you earn well? It's hilarious that you thought to mention books, but not holidays.

We take relatively cheap holidays. We go camping in the UK and to inexpensive UK self catered.