Middle Class/Upper middle class most frugal with money (in a good way!)

[Montana7]

Out of our friends with dc the same age as ours the most middle class & upper middle seem to be the most frugal & love a bargain.. Many are very high earners yet dc wear second hand clothes, uniforms, the families are very good with food & pride themselves on zero waste... Have great holidays think safaris, multiple ski trips pre covid but always prided themselves on getting the best deals... I think its bloody brilliant & after realising how much disposable cash DH & I fritter away especially around Christmas I aspire to be more frugal... Aibu to suggest the mc/umc appreciate the value of money more or is it just the ones we know...

Meh.

It's much easier to be frugal when you've got lots of time and money.
For instance you can save money by paying for bills up-front (12 month subscription) instead of spreading the cost over months.
You have the cashflow to invest in quality, e.g. buy an expensive pair of shoes that will last you 10 years, instead of a crap one that will need replacing within 6 months, and cost you more over the long term.
Not living on the breadline gives you headspace to actually hunt for bargains.
Money can buy you time in the short term, which allows you to make better decisions in the long run.

There's no magical moral quality attached to being rich. It's just that being poor is a vicious cycle, due to the constant opportunity costs of having no wiggle room in your decision making.

@vivainsomnia I agree with you, I have been to boomcycle which is an expensive spinning studio. Each class is £20. I was there on classpass - it's a £35 monthly membership that allows you to take some classes in boutique exercise studios all over London;often they have discounts on the expensive classes. I talked to a guy on the same class, he never even heard of class pass and he paid for each class a la carte. He went to 1 class everyday, often 2. He also went to soul cycle which charged even more (rishi sunak and his wife also go to soul cycle). I calculated that he was spending minimum £600 per month, probably closer to a thousand. He was extremely fit so it looked like a well established routine. There is probably a limit one can use a credit card when it comes to such an expensive routine. I usually don't say this but I think he was probably more well off than most.

Although no judgement at all for those who don't have the disposable income to be able to make the choice to shop ethically.

I’m also glad to see someone posted the Sam Vimes theory!

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing I'm the same - I pass on as much of DSs grown out of clothing as possible. I'd sell the rare thing on our school FB page, but mostly the priority is to get it out of the house.

I do have to say I find it mildly amusing to see folks that I know to be wealthy flogging second hand rugby boots for a fiver, but each to their own I suppose.

Oooh another post fetishing the middle/upper classes.

The are millions of people prioritising and spending money in a million different ways.
There isn't a right way.

There are also loads of people with money who don't give a shit about education and vice versa.

I've been to homes where there are threadbare carpets, whilst all the kids are wearing designer sports gear, so it was certainly an outward appearances over home comforts thing

When I was still teaching one of the House tutors who would sometimes visit children in their homes used to say it was quite common to see threadbare furnishings but the biggest TV possible in the corner.

[quote rookiemere]@Sn0tnose thankfully we don't live in North Korea so anybody can walk where they want. I said the charity shops were situated beside Waitrose to indicate the area they were in.

Presumably the charity shops would move to the less affluent areas ( with lower rates) if they thought they could make a profit there. Instead the shopping parade at the local estate has a plethora of takeaways, tanning salons and vaping shops. Make of that what you will. [/quote]
thankfully we don't live in North Korea so anybody can walk where they want. I said the charity shops were situated beside Waitrose to indicate the area they were in Yeah, I just about managed to understand that, thanks. My response was questioning the relevance of indicating the area. What was the point of it, other than to imply that there were no poor people in the area?

Presumably the charity shops would move to the less affluent areas ( with lower rates) if they thought they could make a profit there. Well, pretty much proving the point of the poster you were referring to, they don’t need to, do they? Why would they move to a less affluent area when they can charge poverty tourists twice the price for a Boden T-shirt than they’d be able to charge in a shop next to Waitrose?

Instead the shopping parade at the local estate has a plethora of takeaways, tanning salons and vaping shops. Make of that what you will Oh I’m definitely drawing some conclusions.

[quote Blueeyedgirl21]@Silverswirl what do your neighbours think when they pass you perfectly good shoes that they could sell on because they think you can’t afford them and then see you go off spending thousands on an ‘experience’? 😲[/quote]
No not really. Luckily I don’t live in a judgemental place and have some lovely mum neighbours who have been passed clothes from other mums and now they are passing them on if any life left.
They also have lovely experiences and trips with their kids
Many people buy far far too many clothes, shoes for their kids or are given via grandparents etc.
So many clothes are just seen as disposable esp from a supermarket etc. If they have life left why not pass them on if you know someone with kids who would be grateful.
Does it matter what that person spends money on?
It certainly doesn’t to me.
I have far far more respect for someone using hand me downs than someone going into a kids designer shop regularly buying £50 T-shirt’s for a 9 year old.

[quote RoyalFamilyFan]@BeefSupreme perfectly possible. Not at all posh 0bviously, but it forces us all to spend time and talk to each other and that is its value.[/quote]
@RoyalFamilyFan

I wasn’t judging. Sorry if I sounded sneery. It’s just when I go to a normal (not posh) restaurant, drinks alone cost £4 unless you get water. And any dish with meat is always over £10.
It’s lovely you spend your time and money on things that matter.

I agree with this. I have been shocked to see, for example, people who can afford free range eggs buy battery farmed ones instead.

'shocked'

@Blueeyedgirl21 oh and most people don’t sell on clothes here. Esp not supermarket / high street type clothes. They either hand down to a friend or neighbour or family or give to a charity shop (although many charity shops here are full and won’t take more donations)

I also keep a mental list of people who will accept stuff from me - but try not to deluge one person with everything!

Ds’s best friend is much smaller than him so sadly / happily (depending on POV) for his Mum a prime target!

@middlenglander

I agree with this. I have been shocked to see, for example, people who can afford free range eggs buy battery farmed ones instead.

'shocked'

Yes. If someone has the money to buy ethically, I find it shocking when they don't.

It's interesting that my comment prompted such hilarity, while the comments upthread using words like 'horrified' to describe poor people buying themselves a new TV went unmarked.

@BeefSupreme

It’s easily done. Beefeater for instance have a lunchtime menu that goes on til 5pm and meat dishes (lasagne, burger & fries, gammon etc) start from £5.99.

What you are describing sounds like priorities - they have a limited amount of money but want to hold on to a certain lifestyle - exotic holidays, dogs, horses, so they prioritise what is really important to them.

However their 'limited' income is high enough to allow them to make these choices as opposed to someone who is wearing second hand clothing as there is nothing else to cut back on .

I don't know what 'class' mumsnet would call me - please enlighten me!

From the outside we look affluent - we own a deatched home with garden in a nice area with a huge mortgage, we are both aged 25.

But if you look at our budget it's a different story. More than half our takehome goes on the mortgage (We are now on one (DH) income since I've chosen to become SAHM ). We haven't had any inheritance or high paying jobs and a lot of people ask us how we've afforded a house so young. The answer is we both saved every penny - didn't go to university, got jobs straight out of school, worked overtime, never take holidays, never eat out, hardly buy clothes and they're from sainsburys if I do(best mix of quality and price I've found anywhere), cut each other's hair at home, no nails, tans, or other beauty treatments, no cigarettes or vapes, no ready meals, hardly drink alcohol, no pets, walk rather than drive, use own brand everything rather than leading brands, turn lights off and appliances off when not in use. We don't have Amazon prime, Netflix, magazine subscriptions, all those things where money is leaking out your account every month. We don't have a gardener or a cleaner or a gym subscription, imo those things cancel each other out by the calories we burn gardening and cleaning! Every single penny is watched and counted, I would say we live very very frugally.
So, of our takehome : 50% roughly is mortgage, 20% is utilities, 10% is groceries, 10% is donations and gifts, the other 10% covers clothes and nappies for my son, fuel, DIY costs, medical costs, all the other miscellanea.

The point of that whole load of waffle was in case any of ours ways of scrimping help you OP? You said you were looking for ideas. It's hard work to improve your financial situation but we have done it by scrimping (you'll notice we have a large giving budget though - call it karma or whatever, scrooges dont prosper). Every penny counts and people with an attitude of 'oh it's only one takeaway a week' are shooting themselves in the foot. The rich people I know can afford to spend on those things because they've scrimped first to get into a good financial position .

The rich people I know can afford to spend on those things because they've scrimped first to get into a good financial position.

The rich people I know earn good salaries and/or have inherited plenty. They don't genuinely scrimp.

@penjo we scrimped for 3 years to buy a 400k flat in London. Scrimping got us a 15% deposit, we had to borrow the 85%. Someone on a low income cannot borrow over 300k, it is not possible. Scrimping means you buy earlier, I bought at 27 (and both DH and I went to university), scrimping meant we could buy in London. If we continued scrimping, maybe we could afford a 700k 3 bed flat earlier even with modest salary increase. But you cannot scrimp your way to buy a million pound house with no help or at least I have not worked it out!

A couple of people I know who fall into your heading have overstretched themselves on a mortgage and school fees. The dc wear clothes that are good quality but usually too small and looking tired and often hand me down from other middle to upper class friends.

Generous with food shopping and usage of utilities and if guests come but tight spending on their kids and staff wages.

I read this type of comment a lot on Mumsnet and I don't understand it. You seriously never notice your friend looking good or wouldn't see if they'd had their hair done or had bird poo on their coat
But looking good to me doesn't mean dress in labels or hair cut in a posh salon. Looking good to me means looking healthy, happy and dressed in clothes that suits their personality. Surely that can't be that strange of a concept?

Yet you can notice a 'nicer' house
Nicer as in bigger in a nicer area. Would be hard to miss even when not looking for distinguished signs

Having grown up with no money, I found that the biggest luxury of a well paid job was not having to think about what things cost. If I want something, I buy it. I still have a WC attitude to finances though. Most of my income goes on experiences, hobbies, or buying services, not on saving or investing.

Don't confuse posh with wealthy. Historically posh = wealthy but now there are lots of wealthy non posh. These are completely different categories. The Wealthy non posh have big detached houses, private school / live in the right neighbourhood in London, black or white porsche cayenne / Q8 / range rover. The posh person will for private school, have dogs and horses, cars are not really rated so could be anything from a skoda to a VW golf. Preferably covered in mud. The posh person doesn't give a sh!t what everyone else thinks and is happy to wear a sweater with holes in. The Wealthy non posh is very appearance aware and will spend money on hair, nails etc. Posh will be frugal on things they consider non-essential and hand me downs are normal.

@Ninkanink

It’s much easier and more palatable to be frugal when it’s a choice. It’s also much easier and more palatable when you already have everything you need and an abundance more. Frugality in the little things feels really good when you can comfortably afford to pay for the big things.

I also agree with this!

I am MC and I am in quite a comfortable financial situation (although poor compared to many people I know and work with!). I buy a lot of second hand clothes and some of my furniture is stuff I have found on the street! I try to quite frugal. But I also have a nice home and if I needed to, I could buy new things.

I do know people who are annoyingly smug about being “frugal” and eco but at the same time live in houses worth millions. It’s quite annoying.

it was quite common to see threadbare furnishings but the biggest TV possible in the corner

That irritates me no end, a colleague is similar had to have plain potato for lunch because they didn’t have money for anything else but they both had new cars on finance, latest phones with massive amounts of storage, latest tech.

Since when is tech more important than nourishment?