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Original poster

Meeting people you don't know for sex

133 replies

Sportslady44 · 05/01/2022 17:58

In light of the recent Grindr killing case and also the rise in dating and hook up apps. I wondered this.

Why do people meet people they have no idea who they are, worse still they agree to go to their house for sex.

Its highly dangerous whether your lesbian, bi, gay etc.

Aren't people to scared? Straight back to their house etc on the first meet!!

OP posts:
Boombastic22 · 05/01/2022 18:00

Is this really a genuine post Biscuit

Lacedwithgrace · 05/01/2022 18:01

They don't go to be murdered. Don't blame the victims

WhoWants2Know · 05/01/2022 18:02

I knew a guy who used to do this, and asked him why he wasn't scared. It just never occurred to him, apparently.

LividLaVidaLoca · 05/01/2022 18:05

I have done this lots of times.

For the thrill, same as anything else statistically very unlikely to kill you but more dangerous than having a brew in front of Emmerdale.

SommerTen · 05/01/2022 18:06

Have you never had a 'one night stand'?

KatherineofGaunt · 05/01/2022 18:06

I did it once when I was young. Looking back, I shudder to think of my naivety. I don't think I even told anyone where I was going.

Scrabblecrabapple · 05/01/2022 18:06

Risk vs reward

DontWantTheRivalry · 05/01/2022 18:08

Looking back, I shudder to think of my naivety. I don't think I even told anyone where I was going.

Ditto.

When I look back on my late teens to my mid/late 20’s I can’t believe how much potential danger I put myself in.

FruitMelange · 05/01/2022 18:08

Have you never had a 'one night stand'?

I haven't. Does everybody?

x2boys · 05/01/2022 18:09

One night stand,s have always been a thing ,I don't think meeting someone In a club and having a one night stand,is much different tbh .

Original poster
Sportslady44 · 05/01/2022 18:10

No I haven't and I'm not victim blaming. Just saying it's very dangerous to go to someone's house the first time you meet them.
Genuine post why not.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/01/2022 18:10

What are single people supposed to do never have sex.

furbabymama87 · 05/01/2022 18:14

Sometimes you just want a good shag and don't think about the risk. Most people aren't murderers. I'm married now but have had one night stands in the past. If something didn't feel right, I wouldn't do it. Most casual sex experiences were with people I already knew vaguely and usually not total strangers although I have done that too and it's usually been great.

SommerTen · 05/01/2022 18:20

Back in my clubbing days it happened like that sometimes where I'd be out with my mates, have a few drinks etc dance all night with a fit guy, take them home maybe... or go on a date, both drink together then go home together...

Anyway. I don't drink etc anymore so it's not easy to be relaxed with strangers.
I miss those days if I'm honest.

Although to be fair I meet less single men I feel that chemistry with these days as all the decent men my age are married..

sobercuriouskind · 05/01/2022 18:33

I used to do this all the time. Still lived to write on MN. I had a one night stand 20 years ago and we are now married with two children, so it can lead to love ❤

Frankola · 05/01/2022 19:54

This isn't a new human behaviour.

This is something that has come to light more due to dating apps.

In the 90s Colin Ireland used a gay bar in London to pick up gay men, go home with them for sex, and kill them.

These predators have been around for decades and decades. Its just that the rise of dating apps and social media has brought it to light more.

I've done things as a teenager and in my twenties that I pray to God my daughter never even considers. Many have.
But none of these kind of crimes are the victims fault you understand?

It's utterly the fault of the predator.

Pirrip1868 · 05/01/2022 20:01

The overwhelming majority of casual hook-ups don’t lead to murder or anything else untoward. Obviously there is a risk but “Couple meet, have consensual sex, everything fine” doesn’t really hit the headlines.

Lockheart · 05/01/2022 20:04

It's comparatively risky, yes, but the risk of anything untoward happening is still very small.

KewMummy87 · 05/01/2022 20:07

Aside from any risks, it’s a bit grim. Definitely wouldn’t.

Lockheart · 05/01/2022 20:09

@KewMummy87

Aside from any risks, it’s a bit grim. Definitely wouldn’t.
Not grim at all as long as everyone involved is happy.
Luredbyapomegranate · 05/01/2022 20:12

Well either because it’s a thrill, because it’s not something that worries them, or they just really fancy a fuck Grin

Not everyone is the same. It’s also quite rare to be murdered, so not all that high risk anyways.

Mrbob · 05/01/2022 20:14

@KewMummy87

Aside from any risks, it’s a bit grim. Definitely wouldn’t.
A bit grim?! Haha.

Sometimes a nice shag with someone you don’t know is what you fancy. I probably wouldn’t now because sleeping is more important but in my day it was fun. I probably did put myself at risk but tbh the getting so drunk I couldn’t see was more risk to me than the sex ever was.

I am still vaguely friends with someone I had a ONS with and we have caught up a number of times over a decade where we required each other’s… services. Mutually satisfying and not much conversation required. Otherwise I wouldn’t have had sex for years and I quite like sex!

vodkaginwine · 05/01/2022 20:15

I did when I was younger and quite frankly looking back I was stupid. I met my husband on a dodgy site and met up a month later. Went out in his car for the day, then back to his hotel room, not one person knew who I was with or where I was. I had just turned 20. Then I met up with him again at his house two weeks later for three nights, again telling no one where I was - uni had finished, I still had my student house so hadn’t told my mum, friends, anyone where I was. Naive at it’s best.

LadyJJ · 05/01/2022 20:16

You're far more likely to get killed by a partner OP, maybe we'd be safer sticking to casual encounters...

Lovemusic33 · 05/01/2022 20:18

I have done it in the past, I don’t think I was in a great place (mentally) at the time, I put myself in some possibly dangerous situations and looking back it seems crazy that I would take those kind of risks.

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