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Original poster

Meeting people you don't know for sex

133 replies

Sportslady44 · 05/01/2022 17:58

In light of the recent Grindr killing case and also the rise in dating and hook up apps. I wondered this.

Why do people meet people they have no idea who they are, worse still they agree to go to their house for sex.

Its highly dangerous whether your lesbian, bi, gay etc.

Aren't people to scared? Straight back to their house etc on the first meet!!

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 05/01/2022 20:18

I used to walk home after clubbing, completely drunk. I shudder now

Queenoftheashes · 05/01/2022 20:18

Is it statistically more risky to be alone in a house with someone you just met or someone you know well? Given the rates of intimate partner violence.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/01/2022 20:25

@Queenoftheashes

Is it statistically more risky to be alone in a house with someone you just met or someone you know well? Given the rates of intimate partner violence.
This. You're far more likely to be killed by a partner or family member. Random shag away!
NoNameHere12 · 05/01/2022 20:25

Just read the story to it, victim 2 and 3, found dead in the same spot by the same person….are the police really that thick, they didn’t think for a second there could be a relation?

A note saying don’t blame the guy I was with last night…….come on!!!!

x2boys · 05/01/2022 20:25

@sobercuriouskind

I used to do this all the time. Still lived to write on MN. I had a one night stand 20 years ago and we are now married with two children, so it can lead to love ❤
Lol ,I used to think one night stands were just that ,17;years ago next month I had a one night stand,I never thought it would lead to anything however I stupidly some would say married him six months later ,two children and lots of ups and downs he's upstairs with our youngest 🤣 We are however probably the exception to the rule .
RagzReturnedUnwrapped · 05/01/2022 20:28

@sobercuriouskind

I used to do this all the time. Still lived to write on MN. I had a one night stand 20 years ago and we are now married with two children, so it can lead to love ❤
Haha, ditto. Except 16 years ago and 3 children. Though to be fair, I did know him vaguely as we were from the same town.
grapewine · 05/01/2022 20:31

You're far more likely to be killed by a partner or family member. Random shag away!

This. Also, what are single people supposed to do - just never have sex?

19lottie82 · 05/01/2022 20:33

It wouldn’t appeal to me personally. I’ve got this really annoying trait where I need to get to know people before I find them attractive enough to sleep with 😂
But I would never judge anyone who did this.

wineandsprite · 05/01/2022 20:35

I did this at 16-17, and several times too. What a twat.

Cas112 · 05/01/2022 20:38

@KewMummy87

Aside from any risks, it’s a bit grim. Definitely wouldn’t.
Not really as long as everyone is happy, healthy and consenting. Don't be a judgy bum
Freecuthbert · 05/01/2022 20:43

Sorry OP but it does come across as victim blaming to me. There is a much higher risk of you being murdered by your long term partner than a casual fling. The reason these instances are so newsworthy is because it's rare and unusual, sorry but most women killed by their husbands don't make the papers because it's "normal" which is very sad.

One night stands have always existed, it's just in the digital age now so part of online dating too. In some respects it's probably safer now because there are sometimes ways to vet these people, such as seeing red flags over text, seeing unsavoury content on their social media or even finding results on Google about them committing a sex offence, DV etc. When you're already in a bar (and potentially drunk!) there's even more risk involved. However if someone wants to have a one night stand from a bar, or meet someone online they haven't bothered to vet, that again is their choice. Sorry we can't all be miss perfect and make the "right" choices at every given opportunity!

LadyGAgain · 05/01/2022 20:44

@Sportslady44

In light of the recent Grindr killing case and also the rise in dating and hook up apps. I wondered this.

Why do people meet people they have no idea who they are, worse still they agree to go to their house for sex.

Its highly dangerous whether your lesbian, bi, gay etc.

Aren't people to scared? Straight back to their house etc on the first meet!!

Think you missed out heterosexual here OP.

It's not the best decision for any person regardless of sexual orientation BUT, one night stands have happened and will continue to happen and whilst I don't have the stats, I imagine 98-99% don't end up in murder and I bet (I don't have the stats) that the number of people murdered by the person they are in a relationship with is far higher.

So what's the point of your post?

WhatToDo1988 · 05/01/2022 21:21

My one night stand has turned into a so far 3 year relationship Smile

Hippychicken1 · 05/01/2022 21:23

I took my one night stand home with me
He’s still here 23 years later 😂
Not really a one night stand

ElectraBlue · 05/01/2022 21:31

I agree that it is risky. You are making yourself vulnerable to a complete stranger.

In might be a happy/harmless experience in most cases but I am not taking the risk of being the one incident where the guy turns out to be a 'rough sex' fan or a complete psycho...

KewMummy87 · 05/01/2022 21:36

Still think it’s grim. Sleeping with a stranger. Bleurgh. Not judging others. Just how I feel personally.

Knutface · 05/01/2022 21:38

I’ve done the odd hook up, not without risks but there are a few sensible precautions that I took. Chatted on text/phone for a few weeks first, met in a public place to suss out if they were on the level (and if we had chemistry), did not use their place (used mine or a hotel). Had some great sex :)

Suzi888 · 05/01/2022 21:42

@SommerTen

Have you never had a 'one night stand'?
No. I work with a male colleague who sleeps with both men and women (fine/his choice) - but the men he picks up on street corners, Grindr - what have you. He’s having an affair with a married woman who has no idea he’s also regularly having unprotected sex with random men, (and probably no idea he’s telling everyone he works with what he’s up to). He’s also a fan of massage parlours and ‘happy endings’!

I’d worry about someone’s hygiene standards, morals, etc. Yuck.

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 05/01/2022 21:48

I imagine more women are killed by their husbands or fathers than by a stranger

PermanentTemporary · 05/01/2022 21:48

I had a whole year of one night stands a couple of years back, around my 50th birthday. Yup, dumb risks though I did a few things to try and reduce the risk a bit. I did it because I wanted to have sex pretty much all the time and I was in no way ready for a relationship. Tbh although it wasn't all lovely by a long way, I had a great time and I wouldn't change any of it. A lot of the time it was giggly, lighthearted, confidence-boosting fun.

Pirrip1868 · 05/01/2022 21:52

@Queenoftheashes

Is it statistically more risky to be alone in a house with someone you just met or someone you know well? Given the rates of intimate partner violence.
Really good point.
MissTrip82 · 05/01/2022 21:57

I would have thought given the stats on murder of women it’s more dangerous for us to live with a male domestic partner.

We all take risks.

ZoeTheThornyDevil · 05/01/2022 22:02

As PP points out, women are murdered by their long-term partners so often it isn't even news. People being murdered by their ONSs is waaaaay, way rarer.

(Also been with my ONS for nearly 2 decades and 2 DC now. Whoops!)

Hippychicken1 · 05/01/2022 22:14

I did read somewhere that your more likely to be murdered or attacked by someone sitting at your dinning table than a random stranger

LowlandLucky · 05/01/2022 22:38

@Frankola

This isn't a new human behaviour.

This is something that has come to light more due to dating apps.

In the 90s Colin Ireland used a gay bar in London to pick up gay men, go home with them for sex, and kill them.

These predators have been around for decades and decades. Its just that the rise of dating apps and social media has brought it to light more.

I've done things as a teenager and in my twenties that I pray to God my daughter never even considers. Many have.
But none of these kind of crimes are the victims fault you understand?

It's utterly the fault of the predator.

May not be the victims fault but that is no bloody good to her if she is raped, battered or dead.