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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what does your partner do that drives you absolutely bonkers?

175 replies

AnotherSillawithanS · 05/01/2022 17:15

Mine starts jobs all over the house and never finishes them.
Tiled my kitchen floor, still not finished, started doing up daughters bedroom, he decided to take over and it's now gone on months.
Started working on the sitting, still not finished. Can't use the room.
Been like this since the summer or longer!!
I'm driven mad with it, fucking mad I tell you!

In the last few days he's started working on the bumper of his work van. Sanding, painting, priming, still not finished. He didn't have to do this!!!!!!!!

I just can't take anymore.

OP posts:
workingtheusername · 05/01/2022 20:20

Leaves organising of things to me but then at the last minute decides to get involved. Eg I plan a holiday, organise travel , day trips, activities etc. (I share all information with oh in advance) The day we are due to leave the questions will start-
Have you packed xyz?
Where's my..... (it's packed)
Why are we driving wouldn't train be easier?
Are we going to do xyz while we are there? Why not?
Why did you book that?
I thought it would be nice if we .... (fill in something that needs to be booked months in advance)
It drives me up the wall 😡

workingtheusername · 05/01/2022 20:22

@sparepantsandtoothbrush

Mine breathes....

Seriously though his version of cleaning up after dinner and mine are very different. He washes up but doesn't clean the sink or draining board and leaves food in the sink 🤢

😂😂😂😂 I know the feeling.
workingtheusername · 05/01/2022 20:23

@Adm1010

Opens the bread by ripping it in the middle !!! Angry
What???Did you marry a psychopath ? 😂
Rosebel · 05/01/2022 20:26

He places lids back on jars/bottles but doesn't screw them on. When we were first together I nearly dropped more than one item because the lid wasn't screwed on.
Places empty packets on the side by the bin, which my children also do. Incredibly annoying as our kitchen is the size of a stamp.
I go up to bed and fall asleep he then comes up turns the lights on and starts faffing around with his phone or sorting clothes out for washing etc and wakes me up.

workingtheusername · 05/01/2022 20:28

Also has to repeat everything back. I mean everything,
"Have you seen my hairbrush?"
"Have I seen your hairbrush?"

Yes did I not speak English the first fucking time!!!!

workingtheusername · 05/01/2022 20:31

@peaceanddove

Has a pathological aversion to spending money on our house, even though he was the one who insisted on buying one that was 200 years old - and would (obvs) need regular maintenance.

It's not that we can't afford it. We can. It's not that he's tight with money. He's very open handed. It's like he simply cannot see the flaky plasterwork or that the woodwork desperately needs repainting (Him: "But we had the while house decorated when we moved in" Me: "Yes, but that was 13 fucking years ago.")

Several of the tiles on the floor of the DDs bathroom are badly cracked and look unsightly. But it genuinely doesn't bother him, he just sees it as a total waste of money. However he's more than happy to blow money on expensive holidays and eating out etc.

His parents rarely, if ever, spent a penny on their home despite my FIL having a well paid, professional job. FIL owned 2 race horses and yet their kitchen units were 35 years old and falling apart.

Drives. Me. Insane.

Same I have to fight to get anything done in house. Yet he's happy for us to do stuff together and generous with gifts. Just tight on the house!!
ouchmyfeet · 05/01/2022 20:33

@ninnynonny

Denies he was snoring when I tell him the next morning he was snoring. 'I WAS AWAKE' Course you were love...
This is what I was going to say. I wake him up to stop him snoring and he tells me he wasn't asleep Confused
AliveAndSleeping · 05/01/2022 20:45

@Adm1010

Opens the bread by ripping it in the middle !!! Angry
I just can't get over this and have spent an unhealthy amount of time thinking about it.

Why does he do this? Have you asked him? Please ask him. Why? Just why?

And what does he do after? What happens to the remaining bread? Don't they fall out? Do they now always have to lie flat?

What would be do if it wasn't sliced bread? Could you buy a loaf of unsliced bread, you know, just to teach him how insane his actions are?Hmm

GenerallyVeryUnreasonable · 05/01/2022 20:49

My DH likes to invent his own way of doing things, often disregarding the instructions/manuals/expert advice because he knows better. Drives me mad and often ends in disaster or wasted time.

He butters toast on the chopping board rather than the plate, making extra cleaning which he then doesn’t do.

He uses the bread knife for non bread things, meaning it’s dirty when I next go to use it.

But he’s also wonderful - makes me coffee in bed, tidies the living room every morning, is a doting father and H.

Heepers · 05/01/2022 20:50

These are all so funny and so true.

forlornlorna · 05/01/2022 20:50

Yeah I've got a cupboard kitchen door gathering dust that he's supposed to have rehung...4 years ago lol

My dh is the gatekeeper of all illnesses. If you've got a cold he's dying of pneumonia. Headache...no no no he will instantly develop a migraine. Takes to his bed at the slightest sniffle. And when he is actually poorly he doesn't bloody shut up about it, he'll be sat there in his dressing gown of doom with his hood up telling us he's FREEEEEZING and doing his theatrical groaning.

We had Covid in November, I wanted to smother him at one point. Id be asleep and he would roll over fucking groaning and wake me up to tell me how bad he felt. Didn't emerge from the bedroom for 10 days. This whiney whinging sick voice that gives me the serious ick! While I had to still cook clean and take care of our kids. Oh and bring him soup that had too many fucking bits in or a not crispy enough cheese toasty!.

Can you tell I'm still pissed off about it lmao.

Apart from that he's great lol

housecoat1968 · 05/01/2022 21:35

Fries a steak or piece of fish and fills the house with smoke... doesn't open any windows or switch on the extractor fan. Claims not to notice until the smoke alarm goes off.

Twattergy · 05/01/2022 21:40

Cuts bread loaves at an angle not straight, bad washing up (plates and pots have 2 sides, if it has food on it, it isn't clean!), leaves lights on in empty rooms, refuses to keep useful things like tissues and extra dog towels in the car, doesn't understand and refuses to accept that different types of paint do different things (e.g. you can't touch up a painted wall with eggshell for woodwork and you can't use exterior wood stain on an interior window frame). Apart from that pretty good.

peaceanddove · 05/01/2022 21:41

workingtheusername it's utterly baffling isn't it? I can only think that growing up in a slowly disintegrating home became normalised to him?

Yet, he's overly generous when buying gifts, we already have 3 holidays booked this year, and are about to book ski-ing in Whistler for Feb. 2023 Confused

Yet, we have 3 radiators that stopped working years ago and the underfloor heating in our en-suite hasn't worked since 2011!

stargirl1701 · 05/01/2022 21:45

Leaves a mouthful of undrunk tea in the bottom of every flipping mug.

ASeriesOfTubes · 05/01/2022 21:48

He places lids back on jars/bottles but doesn't screw them on. When we were first together I nearly dropped more than one item because the lid wasn't screwed on.

Even worse when it's something you need to shake before you use it. I speak from experience.

thefamous5 · 05/01/2022 22:04

Breathes

SquidwardTentacles · 05/01/2022 22:16

Puts a washing on at silly times. He's done it tonight. I work til 8 on a Wednesday, only on a Wednesday. I like the washing done in the morning so it gets hung up as early possible. I NEVER put a washing on after lunchtime. But every fucking Wednesday he puts a washing on when I'm at work (therefore without my work clothes included) and pisses off to bed while I have to wait for the machine to finish and then hang it up cos it stinks if I leave it til morning. I've asked him not to do it. I've TOLD him not to do it. I have fucking pleaded with him just to leave it for me to do in the morning cos I don't work a Thursday and I can deal with it at my leisure and stick my work uniform in, but NOOOOOOO, he always puts it on and acts as though he's done me the biggest favour ever. JUST LEAVE IT ALONE YOU ABSOLUTE WEAPON 😭😭

Florencenotflo · 05/01/2022 22:33

Asks stupid questions!!

Dd2 has had a sickness bug, she was sick the other morning, some of it went on the sofa. DH comes in from work at 6pm and asks if ive cleaned up the sick? Yes, I wasn't going to leave it there for 10 hours was I???

Or there will be stuff on the stairs, new bottle of shower gel, tampons, nappies. All things that live in our bathroom. But without fail, he will ask what they are all there for.

Or he will come in from work (kids are already in bed) and ask if the kids have eaten...? Well yes, I'm not in the habit of putting our young children to bed hungry, nor was I planning on waking them at 10:30pm to eat with us 😂

I don't respond now, I just stare at him until he answers his own damn question!

indiesearcher · 05/01/2022 22:36

Whenever he dishes up food, or serves anything, from a slice of cake to a spaghetti bolognese, I can guarantee a load of the food in question will have found it's way up the cutlery handle too.

Sticky goopy cutlery handles, all the way up.

Drives me bloody bonkers.

FiveGs · 05/01/2022 22:38

Makes the bed whilst I'm still in it!

FocacciaFingerer · 05/01/2022 22:40

The one and only time my DH decorated he glossed a ceiling....

I was nearly fucking blinded when I put the light on

SpookyScarySkeletons · 05/01/2022 22:42

My DH does this too!!

Couple of years ago he bought all the kit and paint to sand and repaint our rather rusty and manky looking radiators.

He did one. One radiator. Then got bored.

So I have one lovely radiator and all the rest are still rusty and manky.

(Before anyone asks why I haven't taken over I use a wheelchair and am not strong or mobile enough to complete that particular job.)

Covetthee · 05/01/2022 22:43

He will empty the dishwasher- lovely of him, but he WILL NOT put anything that has been hand washed Away, will leave it on the drying rack until i do it. he will also NEVER handwash anything, even if he needs it.

VonWeasel · 05/01/2022 22:58

Turns even the simplest of tasks into a two person job so is incapable of doing anything without involving me Hmm