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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what does your partner do that drives you absolutely bonkers?

175 replies

AnotherSillawithanS · 05/01/2022 17:15

Mine starts jobs all over the house and never finishes them.
Tiled my kitchen floor, still not finished, started doing up daughters bedroom, he decided to take over and it's now gone on months.
Started working on the sitting, still not finished. Can't use the room.
Been like this since the summer or longer!!
I'm driven mad with it, fucking mad I tell you!

In the last few days he's started working on the bumper of his work van. Sanding, painting, priming, still not finished. He didn't have to do this!!!!!!!!

I just can't take anymore.

OP posts:
novacancy3 · 05/01/2022 18:10

Asks my opinion and then ignores me. Big and small matters.

An example of a small thing would be

Dh - "shall I wear the blue shirt or the green shirt?"
Me - " blue shirt"

Dh will then appear wearing the green shirt. Confused

FoamyBanana · 05/01/2022 18:13

falls asleep constantly but wont go to bed so his head jerks back on the sofa every 60 seconds. Leaves half drunk cups of tea all over the house. Cant go to the shop/post office/pick up kids without ringing me to check the details despite me telling him before he left and me trying to work (asks me daily the same questions re kids schedules despite the times always being the same). Has no practical skills whatsoever so fucks things up round the house and then thinks Im ungrateful when I moan about it and have to pay someone to come in and fix it. He also says 'where do we keep the colander/cheese grater/stain remover/stapler etc now?' as if I move these things and haven't in fact kept all these things in the same place for the last 8 years. Watches football constantly.

I could go on but it would be a very long post! Luckily he has a million good qualities and is a really kind person, but there are days when I'm not sure I can cope with it anymore! Perimenopause has drastically reduced my tolerance levels.

VitalsStable · 05/01/2022 18:14

@Dogmum40

He breathes 😆😆😆😆
You beat me to it!
Buildingthefuture · 05/01/2022 18:14

Having a “man look”. This consists of him opening the fridge/cupboard then saying “we don’t have any xyz”. I reply, yes we do, I bought it yesterday. Cue much huffing, sighing, slamming of doors and an insistence that we DO NOT HAVE XYZ. I then stop what I’m doing, open fridge/cupboard and…..lo and behold…..xyz is right there AT THE FUCKING FRONT…..gah, it drives me barmy!!!

Daisy829 · 05/01/2022 18:15

Puts his clothes next to the washing machine when the takes them off rather than in it
When he’s slicing meat for a roast he eats loads to taste it but sort of shovels it in his mouth in a really gross way. It’s weird as he generally has good table manners.

Oldraver · 05/01/2022 18:15

We have a downstairs bedroom/bathroom that he uses when at work. So he will brush his teeth and walk around the downstairs areas.

The sound of scroosh scroosh scroosh is annoying in itself but just the thought if him spraying toothpast e and spit turns my stomach

Lochnesslassie · 05/01/2022 18:17

Just 2 things really

Everything he says
Everything he does

OhGiveUp · 05/01/2022 18:19

Asks me if I'd like a drink of anything ( at home ) I say no. Then it goes like...
Him. Sure? Coffee?
Me. No thanks.
Him. Tea?
Me. No thanks.
Him. Water?
Me. No thanks.
Him. Can of cola?
Me. FFS! I said I don't want a bloody drink of anything!!!!
Him. I was only asking.

Drives me bloody insane!

recklessgran · 05/01/2022 18:19

Leaves cupboard doors and drawers open. Every. Single. Fucking. Time.
Talks to be whilst leaving the room so I can't hear what he just said. Aaargh. Drives me nuts but married 45 years and he is still the one who makes every day right.

CurryLover55 · 05/01/2022 18:21

I love my DH so much but oh boy can he drive me mad! He can be so much like that Harry Enfield character “ You don’t want to do it like that, you want to do it like this”! And if I ask him to help with something or do something, he always thinks I mean straight away & often he will protest but fgs we’ve been married nearly 20 years & he should know that I mean when he’s free! He makes bread, which is amazing, but always leaves flour on every bloody surface! Wouldn’t be without him though ❤️

Spritesobright · 05/01/2022 18:21

He eats his food super fast. It gets served up and he's basically done in 2 minutes. It makes me feel anxious.
He then waits for me to finish before he gets a second helping, so I feel pressure to finish faster.
Like just relax and enjoy your food!

MalfunctioningRobot · 05/01/2022 18:23

Mine starts a conversation assuming I’ll telepathically know who he’s talking about, so it’ll be ‘and she’s told me I need to…..’ I have to listen to the whole story before I can get a word to ask who ‘she’ is so I only understand what he’s actually talking about when he finishes what he’s saying.

After he’s washed his work shirts he hangs them all up on coat hangers all over the house on the picture rails, the house always looks like a laundrette. I like having all the washing in one place out of the way but he only wears white shirts so do a whole load in one go and then we have loads hanging up until they’re dry.

WellTidy · 05/01/2022 18:23

Looks at his phone and says out loud, in a surprised tone ‘well, that’s interesting’ and then says nothing more.

BlondeDogLady · 05/01/2022 18:26

Just thought of another one! If I am struggling with something, like opening a jar, or trying to do something fiddly, he will come and stand very close, looking over what I'm doing, with his hands slightly raised, as if he's about to take over. I have nicknamed him "Hovering Hands".

Outwiththenorm · 05/01/2022 18:28

Leaves cupboards and drawers open. Takes his socks off every evening and leaves them on the couch. Leaves toothbrush sitting beside the holder, never inside it. Only likes a fresh loo roll, so never uses up the almost-empty ones. Puts items in the fridge still in the plastic shopping bags.

Many of those my dad does too Confused Fortunately for both of them, they have many many positive qualities!

Allinadayswork80 · 05/01/2022 18:28
  • puts empty packets back
  • shoves as much washing as possible into the machine so it doesn’t wash properly and doesn’t even separate the load into lights/darks/smalls/towels/etc.
  • makes a really loud noise clearing his nose/throat in the night/early morning
  • doesn’t fold clean clothes properly so just folds creases into them
  • says he’ll load the dishwasher or put bins out before bed - literally STOPS me from doing it as he’ll do it - then doesn’t, so all still there for me to do in the morning
  • demands to sit in exactly the same place on the sofa, with feet up on the coffee table and all the cushions and the remote control like some kind of King. Really pisses me off!
  • constantly nods off watching something then insists he wasn’t when I want to change channel

To name but a few……!

JuergenSchwarzwald · 05/01/2022 18:29

@Megan2018

Leaving empty packets in cupboards and starting new things without getting rid of the old.

Eg empty paracetamol packets in the cupboard so I think we have some when we don’t and starting a new orange juice in the fridge whilst leaving the current one, so I’ve no idea which is the newest and which needs chucking. Drives me batty.

He is incredibly lovely though in other respects which is why he isn’t under the patio.

My son does this!
Outwiththenorm · 05/01/2022 18:29

Oh and both DH and my dad never put the microwave timer back to 0, but leave the door slightly ajar. Phobia of the ping perhaps?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 05/01/2022 18:31

Makes plans, either for himself or all of us... but doesn't check first or tell us about them.

TheNewGnuKnew · 05/01/2022 18:34

Doesn't wring out the dish cloth or sponges properly, I hate picking up sopping wet clothes and sponges Angry. He is also so bloody noisy; whistling, singing , talking the whole time. I do love him though and I'm sure I have far more annoying habits.

Sausagesausagesausage · 05/01/2022 18:34

Doesn't look for anything properly

Never puts his dirty jeans in the washing basket then asks "is there a jeans wash anytime soon" like I'm a mind-reader who knew he had 4 pairs of Levi's sitting in a corner

Always needs me to inspect his handiwork on any thing he does round the house. Shows it off like a proud dad and his newborn when he's just fucking repainted part of the skirting board.

TheSnowyOwl · 05/01/2022 18:34

He keeps used batteries in case they have enough power to work in something else. They don’t! We have loads of batteries that don’t work.

PattyPan · 05/01/2022 18:35

Leaving his toothbrush next to the toothbrush holder every bloody time
Also leaving random things lying about in the wrong room and then asking if I know where they are
Not clearing his stuff away from the table and then leaving his porridge bowl to go rock solid
Leaving used teabags everywhere (eg in the dozens of glasses he has left by the sofa)

dementedma · 05/01/2022 18:36

Sniffing!! I swear it will be cited as grounds for divorce soon.

JuergenSchwarzwald · 05/01/2022 18:36

My DH is pretty good at home.

But in the car - he likes to park miles away from where we want to go. So in a supermarket we'll in the furthest reaches of the car park.

If he needs to do a manoeuvre in the car he always seems to choose the hardest way to do it.

And if we are out walking somewhere he always wants to go a certain way. If I want to go a different way, I can't. Not so much with covid exercise walks but going round town centres. I am so conditioned now that I walk the way he wanted me to go to go to our local town centre even when I am on my own.