I left him in October due to just being unhappy. He was taking me for granted and not showing me any love. I wasn't sure if it was going to be a permanent break up or just some time away but he has made it impossible for me to return - not that I think I want too.
He is feeling very lost since I left which he will because I did absolutely everything. However he has also become extremely anxious and pretty much every day asks me if the reason I have left is because there is someone else. There isn't. I have not seen, messaged, done anything else with anyone. I have left for space. I was exhausted and needed to re build.
However no matter how many times I tell him, he still constantly asks if there is anyone else. He has even asked if I have someone with me while I'm on the phone to him.
He is getting therapy now for his issues which is much needed. He becomes from a background of trauma and child abuse.
He just cannot see things from my view. I have told him we both need to work on ourselves individually before we think about a future - especially now all this paranoia has come into it. That's the only way I see it going forward. He just wants me to come back. He says he will change and be the husband 'I need'
I don't need him to be anything, I need him to be respectful of my feelings and give me some space but that's impossible for him to do as he's suffering with extreme anxiety. All he talks about his how he feels.
I have asked him to not contact me regarding our marriage as we just end up going in circles and not getting anywhere. He keeps saying the minute I come home, his 'thoughts' will stop. Obviously I'm not daft and have told him they need resolving and me coming back would absolutely not fix anything. It would just be putting to bed this anxiety/paranoia he has but not addressing it.
Am I in the wrong here? I have left him. I didn't quite expect it to turn out like this but I always knew he would be hurt by it.
I also do feel for him as he has no one else to really turn too. His family are useless to be blunt and his friends have been there but to be honest....they are a bit fed up of him now. It's been almost 3 months since I left which seems like forever ago now.
What do I do? Be there for him more which I turn is not doing me anything favours? I am also in therapy too and my therapist has said I need to 'grey rock' him but that is so hard to do.