To expect a 5 and 8 year old to be able to pack their own overnight bag?

[CrumpledCrumpet]

I’ve asked 8 and 5yo DS’s to pack PJs and a change of clothes in a bag about half an hour ago. Despite increasingly stroppy reminders from me to stay on task, no progress is being made. AIBU to expect children of their age to be able to do this? I’m exasperated!

My five year old could, but he'd also pack every teddy and as many books as he could carry.

Christ, of course they should. They get a pair of pyjamas and something to wear the next day. Of course you’ll double check but it’s really not that hard, even if they miss the socks off that you then prompt them to get.

I think you need to read about executive function and how it develops in children. You're expecting too much of their growing brains.

The 8 year old maybe but the 5 year old, not a chance. My 6 year old likes to try to pack his own bag, it usually contains several toys, a pair of swimming trunks and a few pinecones.

My 7 year old can do. 5 year old will happily pack something but need to check / supervise eg wouldn't put in pants or socks etc.

Laughing at these responses. If a 5 and 8 yo can't chuck a pair of pjs into an overnight bag, then something is wrong. Of course it'll need checking, and of course the pjs won't match, but if you can't let them do little independent jobs then you are setting yourself up for hardwork.

@theqentity

I think you need to read about executive function and how it develops in children. You're expecting too much of their growing brains.

Maybe to say go and pack an over night bag but not go and put some pyjamas and an outfit for tomorrow in a bag. Maybe for the 5 year old expand on the outfit slightly. Leggings and a t shirt, don't forget your pants and socks. Presumably OP will check anyway

My 8 year old DS could, but I’d still check it and would expect a few things to be missing.

My 4 year old DD understands the concept of packing a bag, but I’d fully expect hers to be full of toys, random hair accessories and possibly a book.

You know your own children best, but I think YABU

My DS(6) is useless. He'd pack the pyjamas but then lots of other stuff. Then he would take out the pyjamas to make room for a Pokémon encyclopedia.

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

Pack their bags FFS you're their parent!

And as parents isnt it our job to teach them independence. I'm shocked at the replies on here. My kids are 5 and 6 and perfectly capable of getting their bags ready for granny's house.

Ha my 4 year old would be able to do this but she would also pack a whole host of other random shit in the bag so I would just do it myself

@ANameChangeAgain

Laughing at these responses. If a 5 and 8 yo can't chuck a pair of pjs into an overnight bag, then something is wrong. Of course it'll need checking, and of course the pjs won't match, but if you can't let them do little independent jobs then you are setting yourself up for hardwork.

Exactly this

When she was 5, my daughter needed some guidance, but by 8 she was definitely capable and always packed her own bag. And that’s a child with Cerebral Palsy. I’d expect a non disabled child to manage it fine.

Maybe not the 5yo but the 8yo should be able to do this without much supervision. Although make sure you check. Someone didn't this summer and DS didn't pack any pants for a week long trip. What's worse is that is was three days before we twigged he was recycling . For scouts we ask kids from 5 up to attempt to pack their own camp kit - with parental supervision for youngest but older cubs and scouts (9-13yo) are meant to do mostly alone. That's a lot more stuff than just for overnight.

Certainly at 8 . If I told my 5year old what to pack she could. Id have to say pack Leggings and a jumper” as her change of clothes may be questionable . If they know what to pack and where the stuff is then I don’t think Your being unreasonable

Laughing at these responses. If a 5 and 8 yo can't chuck a pair of pjs into an overnight bag, then something is wrong. Of course it'll need checking, and of course the pjs won't match, but if you can't let them do little independent jobs then you are setting yourself up for hardwork.

Not at all @ANameChangeAgain, there's a huge difference between letting them have a go & treating it as a learning experience so they learn how to pack properly, & leaving them to it to do on their own when clearly not old enough for that responsibility, especially at 5. Mine grew up to be very capable & confident too, given that I never made her feel shit about getting it wrong

You're expecting too much of their growing brains.

Utter nonsense. I’m always amazed at how little people think kids are capable of.

My kids were certainly doing it at that age when they were going to sleep at Grandma's.

It’s certainly not expecting too much! It can be taught and they’re definitely capable of it (especially the 8 year old). But independence is taught. If you don’t teach the required skills they obviously won’t have them.

Mine grew up to be very capable & confident too, given that I never made her feel shit about getting it wrong

Where did OP say she would make them feel shit about getting it wrong? She's asked them to put some pyjamas in a bag and she's annoyed they aren't doing it, she's not scolding them for a non matching set

My 5 yo would have packed a load of games and a stuffed penguin. YABU

Maybe the 8 year old with direction but not the 5 year old.

If my 5 year old was packing I would expect the bag to end up containing many plastic dinosaurs, possibly a blanket but no clean pants.

The 8yo might manage with a list, but I'd ask them to make a pile of all the things, then I'd check as I put it in the bag. If you want to get the 5yo involved I think you would need to tell them 1 or 2 items at a time, and get then to gather stuff up for you to pack.

@whywouldntyou

My 5 yo would have packed a load of games and a stuffed penguin. YABU

Then surely you say 'remember I told you to pack pyjamas and some clothes for tomorrow. Let's try again'

My 5 and 9yo are capable of it, but I don't just shove a bag at them and tell them to crack on - we have a chat about what we might need, how many days we'll be away for, what we use at bedtime etc. And then I'll either supervise or double check what they've put in. To be fair, my 5yo is more focussed and organised than her sister so I'd fully expect her to have got on with it while the 9yo lolled about on her bed having been distracted 🤷🏼‍♀️