I know it's their Dad I should be pissed off at but how much should you expect from your child's step mother? I can't help but be pissed at her as well sometimes.
Basically DCs Dad doesn't really do anything with them. He does basic parenting but that's about it. I'm the one who goes to the effort of doing all the extra with them.
They have a half sibling at their dad's house with their step mother. They do love their brother but it's becoming clear that their brother is treated better at that house. I actually don't at all think it's by their Dad. I imagine (and can tell from various things) that it's his wife that does everything with their son too.
But things like she'll throw a big extravagant party for his birthday whereas they do nothing really bar a takeaway or something small for our DC. I understand that their Dad is likely doing nothing for their son's birthday and it'll all be her arranging it but still, I can tell it upsets DC. They don't really know the difference between their SM paying for and arranging these things, they just see it as Dad's house doing this for their brother and not them. Would it really be too much for her to just take over making a bit of extra effort for our DC when they are there too? I know it should be their Dad but if he won't?
They've come home a few times now saying their brother wasn't there because he was out at X great place with his Mum and her family and our DC have just stayed home with Dad.
Shouldn't she be treating them a bit more the same when they are there or am I expecting too much?