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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What did your DC's school do if you couldn't get your DC to school as you are too unwell?

423 replies

UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 02:32

Just posting here for traffic.

If you are a single parent and have been in a situation that you were still ill to get your DC to school what did school do? I will probably be in this situation next week. This happened once prior to Covid and some of the pastoral care teachers came and picked my DD up. It happened once recently and they suggested she stay at home and do online learning. That was fine as I had twisted my ankle and couldn't put any weight on it but I could help with online learning. However this time I have Covid and will not be able to do online learning with her.

OP posts:
Dithercats · 01/01/2022 09:25

In our school if there is a positive case in the household the child cannot attend school.
So if 1 sibling is positive, they must all remain home!

DeepaBeesKit · 01/01/2022 09:27

In our school if there is a positive case in the household the child cannot attend school.So if 1 sibling is positive, they must all remain home!

Is your school in England? They are not allowed to do this. Report them to your local council.

Maryann1975 · 01/01/2022 09:28

@Londonlassy

Wow. I live in OZ and I have never heard of schools assisting with transport to school. The onus is on the parents is to make arrangements with friends, neighbours and family to get DC to school. This thread is a bit of an eye opener
I live in England and I‘ve never heard of school staff collecting children to take them to school. I have had similar Situations several times-although I’m not a single parent, but dh works very long hours and wouldn’t be around at school run times. In pre covid times, I would be asking on the school Facebook page/class what’s app group, asking local friends taking their dc to school, neighbours (most of ours are retired), family, I’d even consider booking a taxi to take them if the dc were sensible enough. As a pp said, this is exactly why I chatted to other parents at the school gate and got to know dc friends parents. I have asked for favours and helped others out When they’ve needed it. If you are still contagious with covid, tbh, I’d just tell school that. You can’t get your dd to school as you have covid. Our primaries were asking that if you have a household positive case that the dc don’t go in to school anyway to try to limit the spread. I know that’s not the official guidance, but it makes sense trying to keep the school community safe.
Moonface123 · 01/01/2022 09:35

Your just expected to keep up OP, thats the grim truth of being a single parent.

ZoeTheThornyDevil · 01/01/2022 09:41

This is what class WhatsApp groups are for. I'd do my best to help out another parent in this situation even if we'd never spoken. I've picked up for other parents in the DCs' class when they couldn't get out for whatever reason and they've done the same for me.

Sally872 · 01/01/2022 09:43

Is there anyone who could help? Someone who walks same way to school? Or a family member?

Hopefully school can help but I imagine there are less staff and more pupils needing this kind of support than previously. Also now most of us have log ins for home learning it is more likely that will be the plan B. If so don't stress about it, get child to do what she can and catch up on the rest when you are up to it.

CouldBeOuting · 01/01/2022 09:44

@Blondebakingmumma

I’d be surprised if schools had spare staff to ferry kids to and from school. It would be a big ask if they did though. Asking an adult to be enclosed in a car with a child that potentially has/will have COVID.
I work in school. Nowhere I’ve worked would be able to do this.

It would need a minimum of two members of staff and the car would have to have the correct insurance. Staff are needed in school and that’s with our the added complication of covid risk where staff that previously car shared to come to school have been advised not to.

MrsWalrus · 01/01/2022 09:44

Well, this is a nice thread Hmm

Covid makes some people feel really unwell. The OP is one of them. In any event, it’s better for her child to be in school rather than home learning.

Taxis are expensive. Christmas is expensive. Being a single parent is expensive.

Schools often act as if anything less than 98% attendance is wholly unacceptable. So I don’t think it’s unreasonable to put the ball in their court a bit with this one.

Something else schools should really be doing is supporting when families are struggling.

Nogoodusername · 01/01/2022 09:44

I’m amazed that school helped you get your child to school - wouldn’t be a possibility here at all (south London). When I had Covid I had to call in mum friend favours/ ask in the class whatsapp if someone could pick up my child on their way to school

kittensinthekitchen · 01/01/2022 09:44

As has been said by several posters, there is a back story here.

Maybe people could focus on what the actual question was rather than analysing the OPs abilities as a parent Hmm

Metalhead · 01/01/2022 09:46

DD2 had to stay at home as her primary school said they can’t help with emergency transport and we don’t know any other parents who live close enough to ask for a lift without it being a bit of an inconvenience for them. It was shit for DD, but nothing we could do about it.

esloquehay · 01/01/2022 09:47

OP, you had long CoVid this time last year.
So, this is your second bout of CoVid?
Who's taking care of your daughter whilst you are 'bed bound'? Her older brother?

godmum56 · 01/01/2022 09:47

@funinthesun19

A few weeks ago, I was suddenly struck down with a sickness bug and it absolutely floored me. There was no way I could get my kids to school that day.

School were really understanding. Their absences had to go down as unauthorised as they were off because it was me who was ill and not them, but I was told not to worry.
I asked their teachers if there was any work they could be getting on with, and they all said to do their usual homework they would normally do e.g. reading, spellings, online learning tools such as Reading Eggs, so that’s what they did.
Luckily my sickness bug only lasted for a day and they were back in school the next day, but I think if it had lasted any longer then school would have sent them some work to do to that they would have done in class.

If you had norovirus, its better that the children stayed home anyway. Noro can rip through a school community and then gets taken home.
adreamofspring · 01/01/2022 09:48

@DeepaBeesKit

In our school if there is a positive case in the household the child cannot attend school.So if 1 sibling is positive, they must all remain home!

Is your school in England? They are not allowed to do this. Report them to your local council.

Honestly, it’s true for us. Local LEA rules, which school have written out to parents about, is still that you isolate if family member tests positive and it’s kept schools open in high covid case area. It works for our school. I wouldn’t report. Happy to play it safe for the benefit of education for the other 1000+ kids in the school
Alittlenonsensenowandthen · 01/01/2022 09:49

Always asked friends or if not would've kept them off school.

Fenelladepompom · 01/01/2022 09:49

It's against the DfE Code of Conduct for school staff to drive pupils anywhere. No school staff ahould be doing this.

TequilaBlaze · 01/01/2022 09:53

Are you actually bedbound (i.e. can't physically get out of bed at all, even to wee) or are you just feeling rough and don't want to get up? If it's the former then presumably you have someone coming in to prepare your kids' meals etc, could they help with transport? If it's the latter then you could perhaps sit on the sofa and help with online learning.

MrsWalrus · 01/01/2022 09:53

@Fenelladepompom

It's against the DfE Code of Conduct for school staff to drive pupils anywhere. No school staff ahould be doing this.
There are things that can be done, though.

I had an after school extra curricular activity the Head was very keen on, and some of the younger girls (it was a single sex activity) weren’t keen on going home in the dark, so a taxi was arranged funded by the school.

And before anyone starts - I know budgets are stretched, but I’m also quite taken aback by the unpleasant posts here.

Dillidalli · 01/01/2022 09:58

You could just arrange a taxi?

mdh2020 · 01/01/2022 09:59

I used to do a school run rota with a neighbour and we could always cover for each other. There were also a couple of families who passed my house and would take my DC to school if I was unable to do so. I am often struck by how isolated people on this site seem to be. If I was delayed at work I could always phone a friend and ask them to collect my DC and take them home with them. Life seems to be much harder for carers these days.

whitedahlias · 01/01/2022 10:02

Ask your child which classmates live nearby then get their contact details from the WhatsApp or class rep and ask for help.

I was contacted by the family of a child new to the school to help with drop offs/pick ups for a few days when parents had Covid and was happy to help, the one day I couldn't they went with another school mum.

I've got to know them and I wouldn't otherwise have (and they left a v nice bottle of wine on our doorstep to say thank you)!

maddening · 01/01/2022 10:04

When I broke my foot I got a taxi with dc to school and then I took the taxi home as it was my right foot and I could not legally drive.

What is your illness? Why do you think it may be a long time?

Northernsoullover · 01/01/2022 10:04

@JustUseTheDoorSanta

If you're well enough for mumsnet posts then you're well enough to do some basic care of your child, including reading and setting a writing exercise. A neighbour with a child at the same school would be the best option to help, so any of your neighbours use the school?
You do realise that people post on Facebook from the ICU don't you? My friend messaged me when he was dying. My other friends mother messaged me from ICU when she had covid. Stop with the 'if you can post on mumsnet' bullshit.
Northernsoullover · 01/01/2022 10:05

@maddening

When I broke my foot I got a taxi with dc to school and then I took the taxi home as it was my right foot and I could not legally drive.

What is your illness? Why do you think it may be a long time?

Its covid FFS, read the post
arethereanyleftatall · 01/01/2022 10:13

This is one of those mn situations where I think I must live in a parallel universe to others.

We have a class whatsapp - a fairly standard message to tap out 'can someone take Sofia to school Monday, I can't get her there.' Cue half a dozen people saying 'sure' (5 of them pointlessly after the first one, but never mind).

It is absolutely lovely of the school/teacher to pick up, but I don't like the idea that it's the first thought.

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