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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What did your DC's school do if you couldn't get your DC to school as you are too unwell?

423 replies

UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 02:32

Just posting here for traffic.

If you are a single parent and have been in a situation that you were still ill to get your DC to school what did school do? I will probably be in this situation next week. This happened once prior to Covid and some of the pastoral care teachers came and picked my DD up. It happened once recently and they suggested she stay at home and do online learning. That was fine as I had twisted my ankle and couldn't put any weight on it but I could help with online learning. However this time I have Covid and will not be able to do online learning with her.

OP posts:
Nailsbythesea · 01/01/2022 10:14

Staff are not general insured to come and pick children up. It is the parent's responsibility to get them to school. Taxi, walk with other children, bus etc for younger children, ask a neighbour to help, other parents etc

I would never ever expect a member of staff to come and pick my children up -ever. When I had covid -other parents stepped in. I also step in for others.

BlueShirtGuy · 01/01/2022 10:15

Our school has been coordinating walking to school with some of our TAs as most of them walk as well. This would have been unthinkable before the pandemic but people are just having to take things in their stride a bit more now. Having said that, none of our dc are from 40 minutes walk away from the school.

cansu · 01/01/2022 10:15

I think it would be unlikely that the school has sufficient staff to be able to do this especially as it is a 40 min walk! You need to start phoning family and friends and begging for a favour here. It isn't that they wouldn't want to help but they would not want to be in close quarters in a car either as potentially that could pass on the virus.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/01/2022 10:18

I read 40 mins there and back, as a 20 minute walk one way. Could be either I guess.

TheVolturi · 01/01/2022 10:18

Are you vaccinated op? It's usually only rough for a few days if you are.

Normski67 · 01/01/2022 10:24

You need to check with family, school friends and neighbours first. School friends is where I’d be starting. Have you done this?

BettyOBarley · 01/01/2022 10:27

@DeepaBeesKit

As you have Covid, they'll probably as you to keep your DD at home

Except for that this is not allowed. Schools should NOT be excluding healthy children, the government has made it clear that contacts of Covid cases are not required to isolate.

The LA of both the schools my DC attend have just changed their guidance back again to say children should stay at home where there is a positive case in the household for 3 days I think it was and then must have a negative PCR before they can return to school.
OverTheRubicon · 01/01/2022 10:29

@Londonlassy

Wow. I live in OZ and I have never heard of schools assisting with transport to school. The onus is on the parents is to make arrangements with friends, neighbours and family to get DC to school. This thread is a bit of an eye opener
It's really not normal for schools to assist here. Sometimes MN is like another world from the one I actually see day to day, and my family experience in other parts of the country too.
loloballlolo · 01/01/2022 10:33

i just said to the school my child was ill, no drama! kept off school and chilled at home. it's just a day or two. I don't really get the fuss on this thread.

EatDrinkEatDrink · 01/01/2022 10:34

If you are well enough to be responding to messages on here surely you are well enough to switch a laptop on and set it up so she can do some home learning? At 9 she doesn't need help dressing etc so what's the issue? Set some tasks and go sit on the sofa. It's not like you have a baby or a child under 4 that still needs help with everything. Or can't you just get another parent to take her anyway? Granted if you had covid I wouldn't want to drive your child though.

BoredZelda · 01/01/2022 10:34

Wow. I live in OZ and I have never heard of schools assisting with transport to school. The onus is on the parents is to make arrangements with friends, neighbours and family to get DC to school. This thread is a bit of an eye opener

I’m in Scotland and have never heard of it here either. Our primary school has 600 kids. If even a small percentage needed picked up, that would need a lot of people available to do that. The LA offers transport for kids with disabilities, and I think you can apply as an adult with a disability if you can’t do the school run but not for kids on an ad-hoc basis. If you’re sick, your kids stay at home or you find someone else to take them.

WonderfulYou · 01/01/2022 10:37

I’ve had to do this a few times over the years and they’re fine with it.

If you’re comfortable you could get her to take a taxi. Many kids do this every day anyway.

They never provided online learning and I wouldn’t expect them to.

You should know roughly what they’re learning so just get her to practice those things - like mymaths, times tables rockstars, read her reading book, do phonics etc.

She doesn’t need to do it all day but if she does a little bit you don’t feel so guilty.

These things happen. Don’t worry about it.

Frazzled2207 · 01/01/2022 10:37

Is there def no other parent you can ask?

CallmeHendricks · 01/01/2022 10:39

Can you imagine the slippery slope to expectation and entitlement if schools were to begin operating any kind of taxi service for parents/children?

kittensinthekitchen · 01/01/2022 10:40

@EatDrinkEatDrink

If you are well enough to be responding to messages on here surely you are well enough to switch a laptop on and set it up so she can do some home learning? At 9 she doesn't need help dressing etc so what's the issue? Set some tasks and go sit on the sofa. It's not like you have a baby or a child under 4 that still needs help with everything. Or can't you just get another parent to take her anyway? Granted if you had covid I wouldn't want to drive your child though.
Not all children are the same.
Mummyoflittledragon · 01/01/2022 10:41

I was offered help by school office staff as I really struggled with getting dd to and from school. I never took them up on their offer as dd wouldn’t have coped as she was very anxious about my health when younger. But there were a few times when I didn’t get back to the car (I had dispensation to park in the car park) and collapsed on the floor /playground at school as I’d run out of energy.

In your situation, I would ask for help from other parents. This is what I did when I had major surgery and couldn’t drive. Failing that, a few days of homeschooling amongst chaos will be ok.

WonderfulYou · 01/01/2022 10:41

Wow. I live in OZ and I have never heard of schools assisting with transport to school. The onus is on the parents is to make arrangements with friends, neighbours and family to get DC to school. This thread is a bit of an eye opener

That is the norm for England too.

Usually the only time that children are picked up by staff is if they’re vulnerable for any reason.

WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 01/01/2022 10:43

Our dc’s schools have openly said that they prefer them not to be in and for the whole household to isolate if there’s covid in the house, although they accept that they can’t stop us sending them in. They were grateful when we kept others home when one dc had covid and they authorised it.

I can see how you don’t know anyone to take the dc to school. I’m not in that position now but I have been. And if the op lives a 40 min walk from school she might not live near the dc’s friends.

I’d just keep her home op and a nine year old with no SEN should be able to do some online learning herself.

Attendance officers and staff do help dc get to school in certain cases where the child is vulnerable.

alrightfella · 01/01/2022 10:43

Don't you have any friends that could help out? We have no family nearby at all but I could always ask friends in these situations, I've done similar for others in the past.

TheCanyon · 01/01/2022 10:45

Might be a bit different as we're friends with the school receptionist and live two houses away. I was super unwell last year and could barely look after myself determine the dc but if one of the dc has forgot their glasses or school ipad etc then she or one of the senior members of staff came round for it. They were cool with dd2 walking them to/from school in p1 if my back had gone.

SoupDragon · 01/01/2022 10:49

TBH, in the current situation with Covid, I think keeping her at home if there isn't another school parent who can help is the best idea. The school may well not have staff to spare/risk for this sort of thing.

Hope you feel better soon, OP. Being ill as a single parent is shit!

BliainNua · 01/01/2022 10:57

It seems odd to me that you're already planning on being too ill to get your DC to school in 3 days, and for a good while....
See how you're feeling on Monday evening.

Hankunamatata · 01/01/2022 11:04

Never heard of school getting involved in getting a child to school. Usually just use a taxi some round here have specially checked drivers as they do special school pick up and drop off

Clymene · 01/01/2022 11:10

I've asked other parents to help. It's usually been because I've been stuck at work though rathe than couldn't get them in. I think I've always managed that. Wouldn't occur to me to ask to the school.

AgentJohnson · 01/01/2022 11:11

It’s hard being a single parent with no family support but…….. it is what it is and you do have to cultivate a network for such emergencies. It doesn’t help you now but it is something you do need to work on for the future. At 9 there are a lot of things your DD could do to help in the short term, does she know how to work the microwave etc.

As much as your daughter hates missing school, you have a transmissible illness and her staying home until you’ve passed the contagious period could be the most sensible (even if it contradicts current guidelines) position to take.

If you have friends and neighbours, now is the time to call in favours or to ask for help.

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