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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What did your DC's school do if you couldn't get your DC to school as you are too unwell?

423 replies

UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 02:32

Just posting here for traffic.

If you are a single parent and have been in a situation that you were still ill to get your DC to school what did school do? I will probably be in this situation next week. This happened once prior to Covid and some of the pastoral care teachers came and picked my DD up. It happened once recently and they suggested she stay at home and do online learning. That was fine as I had twisted my ankle and couldn't put any weight on it but I could help with online learning. However this time I have Covid and will not be able to do online learning with her.

OP posts:
sweetbellyhigh · 01/01/2022 08:56

@Hb12

I work in a school, have never heard of the school collecting children for ill parents. That could be a full time job!

Most parents ask other parents/friends/family/a taxi to do it for them. Surely you can make your own arrangements with a few days notice?

It isn't a full time job at all. It is an occasional thing to help out.

Of course it is the parents' responsibility but as a rule of thumb people don't fit neatly into categories. There are all sorts of reasons why it can be nigh impossible to get a child to school at times, primarily illness. If a parent is on their own and has a serious physical or mental illness, it inevitably affects the child's school attendance.

Likewise, if the family has one very ill child, it's so difficult to get the other one (or two) off to school. Do you drag a terribly ill child along? Especially if you have no car.

Life for so many people is extremely tough and yes it's easy for those who are comfortable and who enjoy the support of family and friends to be dismissive and critical but I believe it is important to listen to people experiencing these hardships so we can find a way to get the children to school. It can make or break their chances of escaping poverty.

I am in touch with many schools in the course of my work and it is very common for them to assist students to get to and from school.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 01/01/2022 08:57

Worst case you phone the office at start of play Tuesday morning and explain the issues- see what comes up. If you are too unwell to set a 9yo up with a bit of online learning you need medical attention.

OrangeBlossomsinthesun · 01/01/2022 08:57

If you have Covid and she's primary (and therefore I assume unvaccinated) surely she isn't allowed at school anyway as she has to isolate as a close contact? That's how it works in my country anyway.

DeepaBeesKit · 01/01/2022 08:59

No wonder it’s running rampant to be honest.

Yes, and that's ok now and we need to learn to live with it circulating like other viruses. Hospitalisations aren't rising as rapidly and the vast majority of being getting seriously ill and needing hospital care are unvaccinated.

Refusal to vaccinate is a real classic way to win a Darwin award imho. Let nature take its course on people who choose to refuse and let us focus our resources on those who can't have the vaccine or are otherwise more vulnerable.

Rover83 · 01/01/2022 09:00

The first time I couldn't get my eldest to school we knocked on the door of a neighbour who had kids at school and asked if they'd walk her. A few parents have asked recently on our class WhatsApp group and had loads of offers

PartyPrawnRingGames · 01/01/2022 09:01

Do you not see the difference between asking a teacher and a parent?
Not really the other parent may be just as busy as a teacher and have a lot of people who might want to ask them favours.

ReceptionTA · 01/01/2022 09:02

As you have Covid, they'll probably as you to keep your DD at home.

Unless you live very close to the school I can't see how school staff could collect/drop off DC without it impacting on their own working day.

OP, as you're a single parent I suggest you work really hard on forming a network of people who are willing and able to care for your DC in emergencies, and can drop her off at school. I know it's not the easiest thing to do, and takes time and commitment, but it would be so much less stressful to know you have someone willing to drop your DD at school/home if necessary.

Excitedforthefuture · 01/01/2022 09:04

@PartyPrawnRingGames

Do you not see the difference between asking a teacher and a parent? Not really the other parent may be just as busy as a teacher and have a lot of people who might want to ask them favours.
Wow. You don’t see the difference. Ok.
AngelinaFibres · 01/01/2022 09:04

@AgentProvocateur

You should ask another parent. I’m sure they be glad to help.
This is what I used to do if I was ill. Ask a parent who has to go past your house to get to the school.
Excitedforthefuture · 01/01/2022 09:04

Class watsapp OP!!

MyOtherProfile · 01/01/2022 09:05

I'm not sure most schools have the capacity to do anything about this.

However I'm surprised you don't have anyone you can ask - the PTA would be my last resort, or school / local Facebook group but I would start with asking families of classmates who don't live far.

MyOtherProfile · 01/01/2022 09:06

@PartyPrawnRingGames

Do you not see the difference between asking a teacher and a parent? Not really the other parent may be just as busy as a teacher and have a lot of people who might want to ask them favours.
But other parents will also be taking their kids to school so just adding one extra child is a bit different from asking a teacher to do it who will be setting up their class, doing prep etc before school. Totally different.
storminabuttercup · 01/01/2022 09:07

Is there more to this? You have a 9 year old who you won't be able to help with online learning, how are you meeting their basic needs, food etc? It sounds like the school run is the least of your problems.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 01/01/2022 09:12

Very well said @sweetbellyhigh

DeepaBeesKit · 01/01/2022 09:13

As you have Covid, they'll probably as you to keep your DD at home

Except for that this is not allowed. Schools should NOT be excluding healthy children, the government has made it clear that contacts of Covid cases are not required to isolate.

Excitedforthefuture · 01/01/2022 09:13

Just read OP’s past threads

There is a lot more going on than this

User2638483 · 01/01/2022 09:14

Do you have other health problems? Are you vaccinated? It seems a bit strange to assume you will still be in bed in a few days. My experience of covid has been that I have felt unwell but the really ill part was short lived and it was fast moving. Come on positive attitude!
Unless there’s lots of info I’m not aware of!
I also find the use of ‘bed bound’ a bit jarring as would take this to mean someone who cannot weight bear, requires all care in bed such as continence and washing. But I know what you mean, that you feel ill in bed.
Unless as I say there is info about a disability I’m not aware of.

GrandmasCat · 01/01/2022 09:16

Well… I know a couple that are literally loaded, she is a stay home mum, dad works from home but they have chosen not to have a car. Their teen girl normally took the bus to school a few steps from their house. She twisted an ankle and had to use crutches for a couple of weeks.

Dad pestered the school and the council until they agreed to arrange and pay for a taxi to take her to school and back every day so I suppose is doable.

Hb12 · 01/01/2022 09:16

Is this mental health related?

DeepaBeesKit · 01/01/2022 09:17

If you have Covid and she's primary (and therefore I assume unvaccinated) surely she isn't allowed at school anyway as she has to isolate as a close contact? That's how it works in my country anyway.

No. In England people who are vaccinated, under 18 or medically exempt from vaccination are not required to isolate as close contacts. Children are expected to continue attending school if family members get Covid. Most parents happily lft their children on a daily basis in this situation, when I had Covid we also PCR tested my child each weekend.

DC never caught it off me and there were no cases in their class either so didnt pass anything on, so I'm very glad they didnt miss a load of school unnecessarily.

Excitedforthefuture · 01/01/2022 09:17

@GrandmasCat

Well… I know a couple that are literally loaded, she is a stay home mum, dad works from home but they have chosen not to have a car. Their teen girl normally took the bus to school a few steps from their house. She twisted an ankle and had to use crutches for a couple of weeks.

Dad pestered the school and the council until they agreed to arrange and pay for a taxi to take her to school and back every day so I suppose is doable.

Stay at home mum Working from home dad Irrelevant

They don’t have a car so can’t get her to school

Excitedforthefuture · 01/01/2022 09:18

@Hb12

Is this mental health related?
On basis of past threads Yes
Swisscheeseleaves · 01/01/2022 09:19

If i had covid in the house i wouldn't be sending them to school.

MichelleScarn · 01/01/2022 09:19

@storminabuttercup

Is there more to this? You have a 9 year old who you won't be able to help with online learning, how are you meeting their basic needs, food etc? It sounds like the school run is the least of your problems.
Agree with this, @UndertheCedartree I don't want to be annoying or repetitive, but are you fully bedbound and is your gp aware? If you think its going to continue for sometime, I am concerned re continence care and skin for you, and basically everything re your dc.
Ohmycron · 01/01/2022 09:21

It is your legal obligation to ensure your child attendance so it’s your problem really