AIBU to want to start my own 'working class Mumsnet'?

[shoplifteroftheworld]

I see so many topics and conversations on here that just don't relate to my own life and experiences. Lots of well off women talking about their recent purchases from Boden or Uniqlo or some other place I can't afford to shop. Chat about dinner parties and holidays abroad. I'd like a site for mums and women on lower incomes as this site can leave a lot of us feeling left out of certain conversations.

Posting on MN makes me feel MC

This thread is fascinating. I am middle class by the definition of the safety net. Decent sized but dilapidated house in good area thanks to family money but we can’t afford to heat it or do it up. My kids are entirely dressed in Boden (thanks to mil) but they’ve never been abroad on holiday. Uk holidays involve a couple of nights in a Travelodge once a year. We have less disposable income than many working class families locally. We know we are lucky but at the same time we have very little and often no money to spare.

The industry I work in is very badly paid (creative freelance and often below min wage) and almost entirely populated by middle class people who have family money. It makes me sad that it’s impossible making a decent living doing this job and that only the well off or outstandingly gifted can sustain their careers in this field. This is one of many factors I think that lead to such a cultural disconnect between the classes in the UK.

Just had a look at Boden website because I haven't seen the clothes. Very frumpy imo and I'm old.

OP I kind of know what you mean. The last couple of years have been very hard on us financially we are on a very reduced budget and have a daughter at university so I don't have a lot of money (any money really) to spare, and really can't relate to a lot of threads on here. However there are still plenty that I can, and I definitely don't feel left out. Just stay off those threads if it makes you feel bad.

I think Mn by its nature is middle class. You’re more likely to use online forums for advice if you live away from your family & lack direct support. You’re more likely to live away from your family if you’re middle class due to moving away for uni/job/partner.

@ufucoffee it's changed a lot now but in the past, it was harder to get dresses with sleeves which covered you up a bit at cheaper shops. It's a lot better now but a lot of Primark clothes used to be party wear with bare backs. I guess that's why Boden might have stood out to new mums who have trouble losing weight post partum. Even if they had to pay more than cheaper brands.

I have been thinking about it and that could be why MIL and SIL are more willing to spend on clothes than many of the posters on this thread despite having little money.. they are religious so no trousers, quarter length sleeves, below the knee etc. My MIL also only wears natural fabrics. This does mean less options and hence spending more on clothes. Now I think of it, I started spending more on clothes after I converted to Judaism because I went to synagogue weekly and also had an office job so it was just easier if all my clothes were modest. I also find it easier to control my spending if I buy at more expensive brands, I would set a limit at £35/£40 (if dress was amazing) and there are v few dresses at that price so I would stop browsing after I hit that point 1/2 pages in...spend less than my uni days where I would raid Primark..

Plus got tired of MIL constantly asking me if I felt cold.

@Tillsforthrills

really dislike your username which i’m sure hard working honest working class members of MN would find very unsettling, especially when you seek to look for better representation

It references a song lyric doesn't mean the OP is a shop lifter !!

@RoseAddict cos of the pandemic, I did the premier Inn thing in Stratford upon Avon but I think we spent more or the same as going to Barcelona! Our Ryan air flight was definitely cheaper than the train tickets for 2. Our hotel was near da ramblas and was quite a small one, more expensive than premier Inn but I think Stratford upon Avon premier Inn would have been expensive in non pandemic times, bus tours of international tourists entirely stopped during the pandemic so the hotel was empty so I think we paid £30 per night. Eating out in Stratford upon Avon cost as much as London, food in Barcelona was cheaper and even when it was the same as London, it was for food that would cost a bomb in London!

The all inclusive holidays are expensive but I don't really see how you would spend more on city breaks in Europe. Flying is often cheaper than a train, which is terrible for climate change. Southern Europe has a lower cost of living tha. UK (hence the uk pensioners there) and there are hotels at every budget.

Honestly when we can travel freely again, I wouldn't really return to UK holidays as I find them quite bad value for money. I really want to like them because of the lower carbon footprint but my wallet says no. Plus I can only afford 1
proper holiday per year as I have to visit SE Asia every year (only cost is the air fare really as I stay with parents and food is cheap i.e. £1.59 for a meal) which isn't really a holiday, more of a social visit. And trying out new foods, exploring a new city feels like more bang for my buck!

It's funny but I always associated UK holidays with MC people- quaint little cottage and mind blowingly expensive pub meals and country walks (you need a car, my MIL once had to get rescued by the locals in the lake District cos she wandered off trail and missed her bus). The poorer people I know tend to go abroad;they are from immigrant backgrounds so they have family they can stay with for free and that is their holiday. And even if you don't, Ryanair flights are v accessible.

Lols, first you'd need a definition of working class. Would you allow women to self-ID as working class? How would you protect working class spaces from middle class intruders? Would it result in a load class-critical threads?

I don't subscribe to the' should I do this because'........ ethos that some have.
There's nothing wrong in asking other people what they think. Just don't treat the site as a bible for life :)

@onlychildhamster lol yes you’re right travelodge and UK prices can be ridiculous now. I mean the kind of travelodge holiday where you get a room for £35 for 4 people for 2 nights. That was pre pandemic though. In my 20s I had some incredibly cheap holidays abroad including one to Hungary where I took £50 worth of spending money and when I changed what I had left back into £ at the end of the week somehow it came to £50! I don’t like to fly though these days for environmental reasons which is probably a classic mc concern (although I wouldn’t dream of thinking working class people don’t care about the environment too)

@RoseAddict yha is much better value if you book midweek (not always possible with an office job). But I can't get over the bunk beds! Ok if you are a single mum with kids, can imagine children loving it. Not ideal for couples. Mumsnet can be quite snobby about hotels, I remember a hilarious thread where people said you shouldn't stay in hostels past your 20s and someone was berating a women for squeezing one extra child into their hotel room. My mum went to Paris on business when I was 10, her company paid but all 4 of us shared a room and it was great!

There aren't many pretty cities in the UK, I already live in London. I love Manchester. I would like to go to Edinburgh/Glasgow but I look at the rail fares and weep. And if I am flying and destroying the environment, going abroad seems more worth it. There aren't that many lovely cities with good public transport in the UK but so so many in Europe.

Yes I looked at the rail fares to Scotland as I thought the DC would love a sleeper but I soon realised that wasn’t an option! We haven’t tried YHA can’t see my dh coping in a bunk bed tbh!

YHA do have some double beds these days - they do family rooms. Lots of independent hostels also do double rooms I'm a big fan of hostels.

Ok that’s a good tip thank you.

@ufucoffee

Just had a look at Boden website because I haven't seen the clothes. Very frumpy imo and I'm old.

Well I like their clothes because they're quite modest, reasonable quality and have a good returns policy.

Tell us what brands or shops you like and I'll critique them for you.

@Alysskea

The posts about Boden being cheap on this thread just prove how little MN users understand working class experience and class in general. I'm so depressed by this.

Yes, there’s a thread about jigsaw puzzles and someone has mentioned a puzzle they’d done. I looked on the company website, because I was interested in the puzzle, and they cost £105.

According to the poster they hold their value though so can be resold, but the point is missed that you have to have £105 to spend on something as trivial as a jigsaw puzzle in the first place.
I’ll stick with buying mine from The Works.

@MadisonAvenue eBay is a surprisingly good place for puzzles, I got a bundle of 3 wasgij for £10 (and they did have all their pieces which I feared they wouldn’t!)

really dislike your username which i’m sure hard working honest working class members of MN would find very unsettling, especially when you seek to look for better representation
^
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@Tillsforthrills you're being ridiculous.

Hahah, you’re not wrong OP. A lot of comments, especially about working class people and those on benefits do make me think “when was the last time you actually spoke to a person in that situation”.

And everyone’s got a cleaner!

Love wasjig. Im middle class by background but no family support and broke. I don't have spare money to fly and see family either.

It was called Netmums.

In my town charity shops are for the very MC as they are so bloody expensive - - and tatty--. Much cheaper to buy from Asda or Primark.

@seekinglondonlife there definitely is the feel good factor when you buy from a charity shop! My DH always asks me if I checked if my clothes are made with cotton from the Uyghur region using uyghur slave labour as he doesn't want us to financially support ethnic cleansing. Boden has declared that they do not work with any suppliers in the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region. I think the reason i first started buying joules was my prelimary search on my phone found that they were part of the better cotton initiative. However, I still think most of my clothes that are bought new are still from unethical suppliers, but I don't need to worry about that when I buy from charity shops or second hand as I am not directly funding the company so I can get reasonably priced clothes in an ethical way.

[quote Seymour5]@GrannytoaUnicorn. You are in a situation where benefits and support should be more generous IMO. Widowed, with a degenerative condition, and a young child. I really hope you are at least getting your full entitlements via the system.

I see your position as very different to someone who takes the benefit system for granted as a way of life, but sadly no account is taken of unavoidable circumstances. You may well already be aware, but it might be useful to link to your local Gingerbread group. There are also charitable organisations who can offer free or very cheap holidays.[/quote]
Thank you for your kind words. Sadly there is no Gingerbread groups anymore. Certainly not anywhere near my area.

Thankfully (as of right now at least) I get full LCWRA UC & Standard Daily Living & Enhanced Mobility elements of PIP. So yes I do get my full entitlement which I'm grateful for. I still find myself penniless for at least 10 days of every month though, no matter how savvy I am; which is especially hard at times like now when my girl needs new shoes for example.
When I'm broke I do spend time sharing App friend referral codes etc (where certain random apps have promotions where you get £5 for every friend/person who downloads the app using your link (& variations of such) which does help cover is for a couple of days.

I must admit though, I do feel like I'm hurtling towards the ground whilst falling through every single 'net' on the way down. 😑