AIBU to want to start my own 'working class Mumsnet'?

[shoplifteroftheworld]

I see so many topics and conversations on here that just don't relate to my own life and experiences. Lots of well off women talking about their recent purchases from Boden or Uniqlo or some other place I can't afford to shop. Chat about dinner parties and holidays abroad. I'd like a site for mums and women on lower incomes as this site can leave a lot of us feeling left out of certain conversations.

@DrCoconut

It's the holiday threads that get me. Someone comes on asking for economic ideas for a holiday as they are a bit skint this year. I mentally prepare my list of caravan parks at Skeggy and the best papers to cut tokens out, then I read on to the part where they can only afford £10k and are wondering if they can get something with an annexe for the nanny at that price (or something equally non skint).

It’s relative though, isnt it? You can have disposable income one year without being completely hand to mouth. There was a thread a few years ago where op asked how people on average or below average incomes, with children, can afford to go on holiday every year. I read that thread with interest and phoned a company and booked a summer holiday on the basis of that thread alone that day. I pass on that information for anyone who asks the same irl.

@Andtheyalllookjustthesame

It makes me think of Captain Samuel Vines boots theory. This is the updated version, the Mumsnet boden dress theory of socioeconomic unfairness.

It's easy to tell who were the 80's teenagers on this thread

[quote SeasonFinale]think@shoplifteroftheworldmight be a Smiths fan rather than a genuine shoplifter

Well heaven knows she's miserable now[/quote]
Genuine lol.

@GrannytoaUnicorn. You are in a situation where benefits and support should be more generous IMO. Widowed, with a degenerative condition, and a young child. I really hope you are at least getting your full entitlements via the system.

I see your position as very different to someone who takes the benefit system for granted as a way of life, but sadly no account is taken of unavoidable circumstances. You may well already be aware, but it might be useful to link to your local Gingerbread group. There are also charitable organisations who can offer free or very cheap holidays.

The vast, vast majority of middle class people were set on their trajectory to 'success' in childhood, well before they could truly make a decision for themselves.

Their success is effectively inherited, all of it. That's what they can't bear to see .

The vast, vast majority of working class people will never be rewarded with 'success', however hard they work. They will not encounter the opportunities, or if they do, they'll be forced to pass them by. They might not even see the opportunities at all. Their trajectory was also set in childhood, before they could truly make a decision for themselves.

Don't come at me with your bootstraps stories - you are a tiny, tiny minority.

@AllTheShitHappensToMe

Well that’s just great for those who got the reference to a song.

I don't have a problem with people making OPs about 'well off people' problems. You don't stop wanting opinions, recommendations or advice because you have money. And the rest of us don't need to open those threads.

What I do mind is the ridiculous advice that some give out to people who clearly are a thousand miles away from being able to afford to take it. The "just move" ones are the worst, followed by "have a spa break, "get a night nanny", "get a cleaner/gardener/carer" and all the other gems of advice that show how hermetically sealed those people's bubbles are..

[quote Tillsforthrills]@AllTheShitHappensToMe

Well that’s just great for those who got the reference to a song.[/quote]
Do you critique everyone's username choices? Or just those by working class posters?

There are loads of rude/risque/close to the bone usernames on here, but I have only once seen a username criticised on MN before (I believe it was AbortionFairyGodmother). Yet for some reason more than one person has seen fit to have a go at this OP about their username.

Perhaps you should.. it would be a LOT of work though, is there a living on income below X section? If not ask for one?

Their success is effectively inherited, all of it. That's what they can't bear to see.

Not mine @WinterDeWinter. I have earned every penny I have ever since the day I was born in a log cabin that I built myself.

@SawdustAndHay

Their success is effectively inherited, all of it. That's what they can't bear to see.

Not mine @WinterDeWinter. I have earned every penny I have ever since the day I was born in a log cabin that I built myself.

I get what you mean OP. I do think I don't 'fit' on MN. However I do like it and find it useful for some things, there are lots of really supportive helpful posters.

I am on a low income and we have no holidays (wild camping twice a year), not been abroad since 2007 and my dad paid for that.

I don't eat out. At all pretty much. Get the DC the odd KFC meal but don't for myself.

Barely buy new clothes, don't have hobbies or really go anywhere except for walks and I do buy some gardening stuff.

I struggle badly with severe PTSD and I cannot handle any high stress or pressure jobs so I will never earn a lot.

One thing that annoys me on here is the suggestions when someone is suffering with mental health - 'are you getting any help/treatment for your anxiety??'

They don't seem to realise that if you've tried the typical anti depressants and beta blockers - that's pretty much it!! There is no mental health care anymore in this country. I am on a waiting list for appropriate therapy and the GP has said 2 YEARS is an optimistic estimate. 2 YEARS. My family member the same. Two years waiting list here have some youtube videos in meantime.

There's no way I could ever afford private therapy, even at discounted rates, but it's always suggested here.

If many people on here ever had to live on benefits - particularly single people without DC - they'd be shocked and horrified at how much they've been cut. They were frozen for nearly a decade and have barely went up in the last 2 years, whilst living costs have sky rocketed. It's no life at all. It's not enough for even the basics of life unless you have family helping out.

I also find the neighbour / community disputes posts absolutely hilarious on MN.

I don't mean that in a sneering way at all, just at how removed it is from my life.

I live on a housing estate in an area of deprivation or whatever you call it. It's fine, people are nice and supportive to each other, but if you had a polite word to a neighbour for say their kids blocking your parking space playing or reported someone for smoking cannabis smell - you'd get your windows put in!!

Start threads about topics you are interested in. I find mumsnet topics spot on for me personally

@Veh1970

The 'Show us your Christmas Fridge' thread......vile

I didn't even look at that thread, I knew it would make me sad and thought the thread might have turned into an argument. Glad I didn't!

Those kinds of threads are easy to ignore.
Other stuff I try not to take personally.
I did go on the thread about using credit cards for Christmas shopping which was fairly predictable.

As many other posters have said, class is not the same as money.
I'm on a low income and middle class. I think what was mentioned about a safety net is true, my parents are middle class but my mum was definitely born and raised working class and her side of the family are still.
I think I would always be middle class though and to pretend otherwise would be disingenuous and ignoring the many advantages of my upbringing.
These advantages mean I probably (hopefully) won't always be in the situation I am currently in. I have a way out, and a safety net.
I also think (to make it all the more ridiculous!) There's a difference between lower and upper middle class! In my mind the distinction there is private education being upper middle. Along with 'supper' instead of dinner or tea!

To be fair OP, in my experience, I once posted a thread asking whether a big 3 bed flat in St Albans was a good idea for a Londoner who can't drive (and wants a baby), and asked PP to please not suggest cheaper places where you can get a house with garden, because its not important to me and it is hard enough to persuade DH to move outside London, let alone increasing the geographic scope.

we all know how on Mumsnet, everyone think that gardens are absolutely essential to having DC and this seems to transcend class/socio-economic status. But PP were quite good about it, there was not one comment that said- you could move to XXX town. I think if you posted a thread that said- please do not give any advice if you have no experience of earning below XXX income, i think people would probably take the hint.

I commented on the beautiful scenery where I live, compared with a nearby area. I got accused of snobbery, and shopping in Waitrose and M&S!

@LaMagdalena

I actually like this idea. I normally like lurking here because generally I enjoy reading about different people, but I definitely come away from it feeling shit about myself sometimes.

It might be nice to have a section for people on benefits or low incomes to ask for advice without being berated for 'having children they couldn't afford'.

This

Working class do people go on holiday abroad and have friends over for dinner… Probably your issue is more with posters’ wealth than class, but then again a lot of eg tradespeople earn very well. Will you turn away working class plumbers and builders from your new forum for taking a holiday in Spain? The simplest solution is definitely to just not click on threads that you aren’t interested in.

@keepmovingslow my GP seems to prescribe talking therapy to everyone regardless of what your appointment was actually for!

[quote onlychildhamster]@shoplifteroftheworld I often feel the opposite,there are a lot of women on Mumsnet saying that paying XXX amount for a flat in London is insane and who can afford that. Well what am I supposed to do about it? I lived in London; if we all moved out of London wouldn't the prices up north increase more than the 8% it currently is increasing at?

But at the same time, I would never be able to afford a house in my part of London and I do want a child but I ignore the women who say that you need a garden for a child. I do find my tribe on the London threads full of women on good salaries and who live in flats with DC.[/quote]
I need to join this tribe!

They sound like my sort of people!!

I think MN is very much half/half, you just have to read all the comments on this thread! I actually feel it has been more on the “working class” side lately, although the wealthy sounding posters would sometimes stand out because they can sound offensive to some people