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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Non vegetarian cheese present for a vegetarian

499 replies

Neolara · 30/12/2021 11:36

I've been veggie for over 30 years, married for nearly 20. My in laws are very nice. Recently, my in laws have taken to sending my a selection of cheese from posh cheese shops for my birthday and Xmas. The cheese is not cheap. Each box probably costs about £30 -£40 for 4 cheeses. However, usually most of the cheeses are not vegetarian so I haven't eaten them. This Xmas, my DH asked my in laws to make sure the cheese was vegetarian. A box of cheese has just arrived. It looks fantastic but again, only one of the four is veggie. I will only eat this one cheese. My DH will probably eat all the rest of the cheese.

So I haven't said anything to the in laws other than thank you very much because it seems incredibly rude to do anything else. But on the other hand, they think they are giving me a brilliant present but it's really not. I feel like they are wasting their money as I won't eat the vast majority of it. And from looking at the shops website, they could easily have bought veggie cheese. So not saying anything seems stupid.

So, YANBU - Of course you shouldn't say anything other than thank you very much. It's the thought that counts.
YABU -Of course you should tell your lovely in laws that if they buy you cheese it needs to be veggie cheese so they'll just keep wasting their money.

And yes, I totally appreciate this is a first world problem.

OP posts:
Margay · 30/12/2021 15:50

@humdingle

Surely nobody actually thinks fish aren't animals? 😂
You’d be surprised…
WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia · 30/12/2021 16:01

I love all the smart arses jumping in straight away to tell OP she must have gotten “vegan” and “vegetarian” mixed up. How patronising. Why don’t you trust people know what they are?
And who knew so many people were so ignorant about everyday food?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 30/12/2021 16:05

longtopot maybe the vegan figs are kept under netting away from the pesky FgWasps Grin

Maybe they cross pollinate with a cotton bud .
I have no yearn to eat figs but zero yearn since the Wasp Theory !

Sciurus83 · 30/12/2021 16:06

Fish Bush GrinGrinGrin

WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia · 30/12/2021 16:16

@Sd352

OP, you do need to explain this to your in laws. Most vegetarians (I think, I am one and know many others who do) eat cheese made with rennet (and drink wine or beer made with isinglass). Your in-laws may not even realise the use of non-dairy animal products in cheese production. If this is a point you feel strongly about, the onus is on you to explain WHY.
“Most” vegetarians do not eat cheese made with rennet. Hmm You are someone who doesn’t like eating meat, you are NOT a vegetarian.
jmh740 · 30/12/2021 16:27

I've been a veggie for many many years im a little shocked that people think all cheese is vegetarian. I only eat veggie cheese, my budget doesn't really go to posh cheese so it's not usually an issue.
The poster whose oh is vegetarian and eats parmesan, no parmesan is vegetarian, so most pesto is also not vegetarian.
Op can you get dh to mention that he has to eat most of your present as it's not suitable for you to eat.

C8H10N4O2 · 30/12/2021 16:28

No, I've never read any Terry Pratchett. It's just a very silly name because I'm a very silly person

The perfect qualification to read a bit of Pratchett!

Guards! Guards! might be a good start if you fancy finding the Custardy Seargeant Grin

C8H10N4O2 · 30/12/2021 16:28

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Oh mansplaining vegetarianism to vegetarians is very much an equal opportunities sport!

Meatsplaining?! Grin

I like it Grin
jmh740 · 30/12/2021 16:34

I know its not relevant to the op but can I just say that all walls icecream including vienetta or cornetos are not vegetarian either

ElizabethT8 · 30/12/2021 16:42

OP - As you can see from this thread, most people have no idea that cheese contains rennet (from lining of a baby cow's stomach) and is therefore not vegetarian. Your PIL probably don't know it either, or don't care to know, more like!

ElizabethT8 · 30/12/2021 16:44

Also op, your PIL probably think that bought white bread is vegetarian - it contains ground up duckling feathers, marked on the ingredient list as "protein".

WreathSupreme · 30/12/2021 16:47

@NotQuiteHere

You can be as fussy about what you eat as you like. Other people don't have to.
What? Hmm
WreathSupreme · 30/12/2021 16:48

@ElizabethT8

Also op, your PIL probably think that bought white bread is vegetarian - it contains ground up duckling feathers, marked on the ingredient list as "protein".
What?

Jesus, this is some fucking thread

Mamamamasaurus · 30/12/2021 16:55

@PinkWaferBiscuit

Surely you mean Vegan, all cheese is suitable for vegetarians. Confused
Nope
frazzledasarock · 30/12/2021 17:06

L-cysteine Is derived from duck feathers and is added to some bread.

I always automatically check for the suitable for vegetarians sign on everything I buy.

Too many times old favourites are suddenly not vegetarian suitable as the company changes the recipe.

AndTime · 30/12/2021 17:11

I also had no idea that cheese could be not suitable for vegetarians, I would be mortified if I was buying the wrong cheese though so would appreciate a heads up from your Dh again if it were me.

dreamingbohemian · 30/12/2021 17:11

@ElizabethT8

Also op, your PIL probably think that bought white bread is vegetarian - it contains ground up duckling feathers, marked on the ingredient list as "protein".
Is this true?? Good lord
BoredZelda · 30/12/2021 17:14

I've just looked at the packet of Sainsbury's grated parmesan I have in the fridge and it makes no mention of being suitable or unsuitable for vegetarians and the only ingredient is "parmesan cheese"

As a general rule it will say suitable for vegetarians, or will say nothing at all.

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 30/12/2021 17:18

It's fascinating some of the stuff that's not suitable for vegetarians but on first glance should be. My mum is vegetarian and loves Indian food as it has lots of stuff suitable for vegetarians although she had a close shave the other day with some supermarket microwaveable pilau rice. It was only when she was scanning the cooking times on the packet she noticed a lack of vegetarian signage. After googling the ingredients it contained xanthan gum which isn't suitable for vegetarians. (Sorry for the derail!)

Ilovefluffysheep · 30/12/2021 17:23

@ChateauxNeufDePoop

It's fascinating some of the stuff that's not suitable for vegetarians but on first glance should be. My mum is vegetarian and loves Indian food as it has lots of stuff suitable for vegetarians although she had a close shave the other day with some supermarket microwaveable pilau rice. It was only when she was scanning the cooking times on the packet she noticed a lack of vegetarian signage. After googling the ingredients it contained xanthan gum which isn't suitable for vegetarians. (Sorry for the derail!)
Not sure which xanthan gum isn't suitable, but most are. We use Dove's Farm xanthan gum, which is marked as vegan.

We use it very frequently as we're gluten free, and I am also vegetarian.

PriamFarrl · 30/12/2021 17:24

[quote Willyoujustbequiet]@Simonjt

I'm veggie and I eat any kind of cheese. I'm a veggie because I don't like meat. A lot of my friends are the same. A few call themselves veggies but eat fish.

I would consider anyone not wanting to eat tenner a vegan.[/quote]
Well you can make up any daft definitions you want.

Vegetarians won’t eat cheese that contains animal rennet. Same as they won’t eat fish.

LadyDanburysCane · 30/12/2021 17:27

@SpellBounds

What cheese isn't vegetarian??
This is why OPs in-laws keep getting her cheese. It does seem a lot if people think cheese is suitable for vegetarians. They often contain animal rennet though. Same as lots of beers aren’t actually vegetarian. I’m not sure about wine but I’m not vegetarian myself…..

I think it’s partly because even some vegetarians don’t realise TBH. My “I couldn’t possibly eat dead flesh” relative happily eats all and any cheese and when her vegetarian friends ask if what she is offering is definitely veggie she just looks perplexed and says “but it’s CHEESE”.

PriamFarrl · 30/12/2021 17:27

@Margay

I even had this from a nurse at my GP surgery. When I said I was vegetarian she asked if I ate fish. I said no, of course not, so she insisted that meant I was vegan. She just wouldn’t have it that I’m vegetarian.
I had a stand up row with the school cook about this. The school fucking cook.
PriamFarrl · 30/12/2021 17:29

@ChateauxNeufDePoop

It's fascinating some of the stuff that's not suitable for vegetarians but on first glance should be. My mum is vegetarian and loves Indian food as it has lots of stuff suitable for vegetarians although she had a close shave the other day with some supermarket microwaveable pilau rice. It was only when she was scanning the cooking times on the packet she noticed a lack of vegetarian signage. After googling the ingredients it contained xanthan gum which isn't suitable for vegetarians. (Sorry for the derail!)
Xanthan gum is vegetarian but on some rare occasions isn’t vegan.
PriamFarrl · 30/12/2021 17:33

@HiJenny35

Normal parmasan, in fact all parmasan contains rennet, it's actually not allowed to be labelled as parmasan if it doesn't due to it having to follow that exact process. If you want a vegetarian parmasan you'd need to get an Italian style cheese.
I’m just quoting this to make sure it gets seen.

If it says Parmesan on the label then it is not vegetarian.