SIL insulted by baby

[Elfnsafety2021]

Back story. We both have little ones of similar age, hers slightly older and a few health problems when born (prem, needed extra care). She wasn't with bil long before pregnancy, then there was covid so only met her a handful of times.

Anyway we're sat in MILs living room and she was talking to my so and Said he looks like a cabbage patch kid! (My son is bigger and not fat, but a good size, whereas with being prem her son is a little smaller).

I was offended but laughed it off. The more I think about it, the more upset I am. Especially after talking to MIL who basically took SILs side and said well.everyone was rushing out to buy them when they came out.

I know she was probably just keeping the peace but just feels like although I'm upset I can't say anything and would be the trouble causer for saying anything.

YABU - get over it
YANBY - it was a mean comment (but accept thst I probably can't say anything g about it)

My brother had a child 18 months before I did - his daughter weighed 9lb 2oz whereas mine weighed 7lb 11oz at birth. She was formula fed on hungry baby formula whilst DD was BF. She was also dual heritage and had a warm skin tone, whereas DD was born to two pasty faced redheads, so was almost translucent with every vein shining blue with a bright glowing 3mm orange sheen of what would eventually become curly then wavy hair in six years, but never grew longer than 2cm for the first four. His DD had a full head of lovely, thick, curly dark brown hair from birth.

They were both beautiful, but in comparison to the solid, plump and squidgy baby in the family just a short time before, DD looked like a tiny skinned rabbit. Had they been next to one another at almost the same age, the comparison would have been even starker.

My point is that whilst I had a not tiny, perfectly normal sized, baby, my SIL had the one that looked absolutely huge to me and yes, a Cabbage Patch Doll would have been more like her build. In turn, had I been around a preemie with health issues, mine would have looked like a behemoth to the mother.

It's not meant as an insult. It's just that the difference is so marked.

I know we can all be sensitive where our children are concerned but I doubt she meant it in a bad way. When I think of a baby being compared to a cabbage patch kid the first thing that comes to mind is cute chubby cheeks (which most babies have).

I don't think that's an insult?

I can't stand under-handed insidious comments like that.
Next time:
...and yours looks like a little gremlin
That should stop her being a jealous dick.

Why do you care what some one who is little more than a stranger says. If it was malicious the best thing you can do is make it a non issue and not let it get to you. My babies both looked like cabbage patch dolls, wild hair, chubby chops, big eyes etc. And they’re beautiful babies.

I agree with your MIL but I bet your baby is super cute just the way they are

Yabu

Don't start a SIL war over whose baby is cutest

@Flickflak

If she does it again say:

Gosh I think you just said (insert) but that can’t possibly be the case as I know you wouldn’t be hurtful to your nephew! PAUSE. So what was it you said again?

It's a bit much. The cabbage patch doll reference is likely about a round face or a soft chunky baby. Not like she said goblin.

I've heard a baby being likened to a cabbage patch doll IRL. Can't imagine being offended over it and embarrassing someone.

I said my own baby looked like a cabbage patch doll and my MIL was offended on the baby’s behalf 😂 but she DID look like a cabbage patch doll with her chubby baby face. Sounds like your MIL read your reaction and tried to smooth things over, rather than taking sides, from what you’ve written.

Every family is different. We called my nephew baby yoda. Everyone called my baby Michelin man. All in good fun

My baby has a big looking head. Babies look funny. She's obviously insecure about her tiny prem baby though, just ignore it. Develop thicker skin and distance yourself.

I don’t think it was ill meant likely. I was at a friends gathering once where there was a baby who looked 100% like a cabbage patch doll. I didn’t know whether to be awed or freaked out. It was unbelievable actually. Just like an exact replica come to life. Of course I mentioned it to people I was with when I saw it as I thought maybe I had gone mad but they agreed. There was no malice involved with a baby I didn’t know to parents I didn’t know, was just oddly fascinating.

Maybe your baby does look like a cabbage patch doll and SIL feels comfort enough with you to note this believing there is no offence, or maybe your baby looks nothing like one and your SIL is mad as a hatter. Who knows.

mrkramps
Oh look another one. Not offended - just annoyed by the faux concern and the gaslighting of a perfectly pleasant OP.
Waiting for the deletion/ ban.

I wouldn't have been insulted at all, they were cute cuddly things not trolls.

@Smileyaxolotl1

mrkramps Oh look another one. Not offended - just annoyed by the faux concern and the gaslighting of a perfectly pleasant OP. Waiting for the deletion/ ban.

It isn't gaslighting to have a different opinion to a stranger in the Internet. Lots of people think cabbage patch dolls are cute and wouldn't be offended by someone pointing out their baby is chubby when that ISN'T AN INSULT

sleepingstandingup
Some people are just saying they wouldn’t be offended but lots of people are saying she is ridiculous for thinking that someone comparing her baby to a far ugly doll is offensive. That is gaslighting.
And capital letter use is a sign of a poor argument.

Babies are often fat, it's a biological adaptation and to be viewed positively and not seen as a problem.
Cabbage patch dolls divide opinion as to cuteness.🤷

Crikey I thought you were going to say your baby insulted your Sil, now that would be impressive

@Smileyaxolotl1

sleepingstandingup Some people are just saying they wouldn’t be offended but lots of people are saying she is ridiculous for thinking that someone comparing her baby to a far ugly doll is offensive. That is gaslighting. And capital letter use is a sign of a poor argument.

I must have missed all the posts that said "cpd's are ugly, comparing your baby to one is fine"because they seem to be either saying they're cute, it fine or she's a bitch, tell her her brats ugly like a gremlin.

And capital letter use is a sign of emphasis on a word when I can't see you to say it.

I’ve just googled ‘cabbage patch kids’ to remind myself what they look like and well, they are very very cute aren’t they. Unless SIL said it in a nasty, vindictive way I would not take offence at all and just be happy I had a healthy baby.