She was 42?! I’m 44

[AmIoldbutdontrealiseit]

Shirley Valentine. Sat watching it on Channel 5, obviously seen it before but when very young so it didn’t have quite the same impact.
Cannot believe she was 42, I’ve just turned 44 and whilst I don’t feel young, I’m surely not frumpy and middle aged, pretty as she was, if you know what I mean?
The anorak wearing, egg and chip making and very mumsy, almost grandma feel?
I realise it was set in the 80’s but is it that we look/act younger now, or that we’re really middle aged and frumpy but don’t realise it 😬
In comparison, I have a 3 year old Dd, a career, live abroad, have longer hair, wear converse, parka and Gucci bag (just example today’s outfit) use Instagram, have many interests. My life is mainly centred around Dd so isn’t wild as in before, clubbing, festivals, travelling etc…but..is this what my age is really like inside?

Hope that made sense 🤣

@FavouriteMug

She didn't make egg and chips though.

She made chips and an egg.

This

I just watched just garland in a star is born and she looked very old.
Fags !!’ It’s always the fags

Nah, it's the alcohol and drugs. And starvation diets.
My cousin looks younger than me and she smoked for years. But she is a more comfortable build than me.

I was a teen in the 80s and I do think women looked older earlier back then. Some of the hair and clothes were very ageing imho.

@Thickasmincepie
You’re probs right. I just went down a rabbit hole and looked at Judy before she died at 47
Fml she looked horrific.
30 years older

You need to read Valley of the Dolls for Judy Garland.

When I was young my mam seemed so old in her 30's .....I just got id'd for buying a lighter and I'm 42.. it's made my day 🤣

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry

Remember we’ve only really been big on spf for the last couple of decades or so. sun ageing will be a big factor in how much older people looked in years gone by.

It’s not wrinkles that make you look older than your years, SV had lovely skin in the film but she still didn’t look youthful, she still looked like a middle aged housewife, looking youthful is about style, the way you move and your attitude to life.

People used to look older when they were younger. You only need to watch Grease to see that

Smoking, booze and a lack of sunscreen.

It’s not wrinkles that make you look older than your years,

No. It’s not just wrinkles. But wrinkles alone will certainly age you.

@DukeofEarlGrey

People used to look older when they were younger. You only need to watch Grease to see that

😂

i will take the bait, she was working class.
uuurgh

I'm in my 50s and have had to shove my mask down when buying alcohol many times during the pandemic. I dress relatively simply and have longish natural looking hair.

One of my local friends looked frumpish when she was in her 30s. She's 10 years older now but her hair is longer and she wears more flattering clothes so looks younger than her years.

Some people just look older though, and I say that as someone who wishes I did too. I think SV just has that older face.

I'm nearly 40 and was just thinking about a favourite teacher I had in my teens and realised she was younger then than I am now, and yet she looked a lot older. Just somehow very grown up in sensible clothes and hair but also her skin and general features, even her voice. Like no one would have IDd her buying a bottle of wine with the food shop and I was nearly refused a box of matches a year or two ago for not looking old enough.

People always feel and think they look younger than they actually do !!!!!

I do think it was the clothes/fashion of the time.
My Mum had me young and both Grandmas would have been 42/44 and when I look at photos of them with me they dress quite old looking - with hair cuts to match!
I look at photos of my Mum in the early 80s and she dressed so frumpy and had another bad haircut - short it really ages her!
But now my Mum 63 I would say dresses very well and has her haircut to suit her face (mid length!) she restarted her career in her mid twenty’s ditched the frumpy clothes (she love princess Diana - so copied a few styles) grew her hair again. She looked amazing - not that I thought that at 14 …she would arrive to parents evening from work and I thought her skirt was too short. I was mortified (it wasn’t) but she was 32 with amazing figure against all what I thought I could see was mum types (I was wrong)

I've never, ever been asked for ID. Even as a 15 yr old. Don't even get a second look in supermarkets.i used to read all the 'I get id'd all the time' posts on here and think I must look ancient. But I'm tall and have an authoritative air, so people barely even glance at me.

The actress was 49 when the movie was made though, so hence she might have looked good but she didn't look 42.

As someone who remembers the 80s,I think there were a few things that made her appear older than we expect a42 year old to appear now.
She was from a working class background and probably left school at 16, married by 18 and kids soon after. Being a mum does often make women Mumsey. That's part of her discontent, she realizes that there were other options so she starts going to college.

Then, there was the expectation that past a certain age you were expected to dress like an adult. When I was a student my mum once refused to take me to a nice pub as I wasn't dressed appropriately. Even for a pub lunch your best Laura Ashley was expected, jeans wouldn't do.

There would have been a lot of raised eyebrows if she'd turned up at the school gates in jeans. I remember my mum having to change it of her gardening or housework clothes to fetch my sister from school.

Generally, we're less formal now, and it's OK to be a mum without having to wear floral pleated skirts.

The stereotype fit my mum at that age (42 in the 80s). I was 19 by then (oldest child) and mum was a frumpy, middle aged woman who was overweight and wore "comfy" shoes.

I, on the other hand, had a 2yo at 42 and hadn't descended into "middle age" at that point. Just hitting it now, it seems like, as DS1 becomes a teenager.

I’m in my twenties and regularly make egg and chips 😂 it’s an easy and filling family meal that everyone likes. We call it a ‘busy day’ tea. If everyone had activities and we don’t have much time after school and clubs etc then egg, chips & beans. Everyone’s got a full belly and happy!

I do kind of get what you mean though - sometimes on telly you’ll see someone in their 30s being brought across like they’re old/past it or ‘mumsy.’

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

Just different times, wasn't it? Women married younger, had children younger...and got older younger.

Just a cotton picking minute !. I'm 43. My eldest is 19, the other two are 16 and 15, and I still look good in what my mother gave me. I've got all my hair and teeth, no celulite and could probably still fit into my wedding dress. So forgive me if I pass on the "got older younger" bit.

I walk past the hotel where Shirley bumps into Marjorie on few times a week, so often think of this film, and Shirley.

I recall watching this with my mother, she would have been the same age as Shirley, and now, I am the same age as Shirley. Her married life was similar to Shirley's and can recognise how bored my mother must have been - she was trapped in suburban hell as a SAHM with little interest in any of it, or any respite/escape. (My father was much like Joe, not sociable. As my mother has spent most of her 20s in the US, she had few friends, and no real way of making any.)

In terms of her looks and dress sense, she was miles away from Shirley, definitely more of a Marjorie/Joanna Lumley type albeit better looking and far better dressed. I think this only adds to the frustration of how she must have felt being trapped at home. I'm sad that she didn't have more of a life or the opportunities to live her life differently. She was deeply unhappy with her life, and unlike Shirley, didn't have an outlet to facilitate any changes.

But, I must admit that the 80s seems like an easier, less stressful time. Growing up, our meals were somewhat regimented and we always ate the same things on certain days of the week. I rather miss this! These things aside, am glad life is different now, particularly how many more options there are for women to live (and dress) in ways that serves them.

Can you all please stop saying egg and chips! That isnt what she says

And isn't the whole point that she's supposed to look dowdy bored and old before her time? If she was glamourous and fulfilled there wouldn't be much a story would there!