She was 42?! I’m 44

[AmIoldbutdontrealiseit]

Shirley Valentine. Sat watching it on Channel 5, obviously seen it before but when very young so it didn’t have quite the same impact.
Cannot believe she was 42, I’ve just turned 44 and whilst I don’t feel young, I’m surely not frumpy and middle aged, pretty as she was, if you know what I mean?
The anorak wearing, egg and chip making and very mumsy, almost grandma feel?
I realise it was set in the 80’s but is it that we look/act younger now, or that we’re really middle aged and frumpy but don’t realise it 😬
In comparison, I have a 3 year old Dd, a career, live abroad, have longer hair, wear converse, parka and Gucci bag (just example today’s outfit) use Instagram, have many interests. My life is mainly centred around Dd so isn’t wild as in before, clubbing, festivals, travelling etc…but..is this what my age is really like inside?

Hope that made sense 🤣

It's true that generally women did accept ageing younger @BoudecaBains that's not an insult to you, none of us have seen you! But generally this was the case.

One example of this is the signals women send out. The ''rule'' was that you got your hair cut short after a certain age and women just won't do that now, if their hair looks good, they're not going to cut it. Or, if they don't think short hair would suit them any better, they don't do it.

How would the film have worked if she'd felt young and fresh and had no need to be reminded that she was sexy by a dodgy Greek bloke?
I haven't seen this one - is it any good? - but recently watched "Bread and Tulips" with Bruno Ganz, which sounds like the same plot.

I'm 40. I have a photo of mum at her 40th birthday party on my wall. My DC couldn't believe she was the same age as me in the picture. I think it was the hairstyle...she had short typical middle aged woman hair of the 1980s/90s...mine is long.

@YippieKayakOtherBuckets We are saying the same thing.

The fashions back then were really ageing! I look back at photos of my mother when she was my age (41) and she looks a lot older!

Agree. My Mum was in her late 30s/early 40s in the 80s. If you look at photos her face is very youthful and she has great skin but the hair and fashion is aging. Those layered perms that virtually every woman over 30 had. It also seemed to be normal to dress "older", especially if you have kids. My Mum thinks I dress too young for someone in my 40s (it's not like I'm going round in hotpants or crop tops!) and keeps buying me clothing that - to me anyway - looks frumpy.

Oh I so love Shirley Valentine! Went to see the play earlier this year, it was very good too.

I can’t remember my grandmother not looking like a grandmother despite her being not much older than I am now when I was a small child, she was probably late 40’s when I can first remember going over there, she always wore typical granny clothes and blue rinsed permed hair, would wear a head scarf if we left the house and carry a beige granny bag. She’s now 96 and her fashion hasn’t changed much 🤣.

I’m 40 in a few weeks and closes myself as quite young looking, I go to the gym, I paddleboard and my wardrobe contains a mixture of trendy (and quirky) clothes. I do see some people my age and think “they look much older than me” but maybe I’m just blind and can’t see (or feel) that I’m getting old?

Tbf 18 yr olds still probably think "we" look old.

I’m now 51. I have a 10 year old and a teen and a full time job. And I drive about 250 miles a week. A very different time

It's all relative though, isn't it? I am just 52. My children are 24 & 23. I could retire in 3 years with a good works pension. But I certainly don't feel old. When me and DH retire we are going to travel loads.

I watched it a few months ago with my new bf (I’m 46 and recently out of a 21 year marriage). I had the same reaction as you @AmIoldbutdontrealiseitwas I staggered she was that age - tho she did look great! (Once she got to Greece lol). I’d gone to Greece in the summer too recently single and has a few Shirley V comments from friends. The previous summer - also in Greece on my own with kids and not yet single but realising things were heading that way - I had an offer of a night swim with a lovely Greek waiter. Which made my teenage girls laugh. Passed by that SV moment sadly …
It’s a great movie I think.

I am the same age as Pauline Collins and remember thinking she was frumpy in the film the first time I watched it. She was meant to be and then she blossomed.

Each generation thinks previous generations looked old and were frumpy. It will happen to you.

I think lots of you are kidding yourselves. There are still many women trapped in unhappy marriages. It may not be about cooking for husbands but many stay home rather than go out with friends. Many are responsible for all the housework and childcare. They still carry the mental load of wife work. Yes more women work outside the home and but themselves nice stuff but the fundamental imbalance in domestic relationships is alive and kicking.

Some things have changed that can't be denied.

For a start, some women these days take more care of their skin and hair and therefore look younger than women the same age did 40 years ago. They often spent a lot of time in the sun and didn't know of or use facial sunblock, for one thing.

There was also an expectation that at a certain age, you wore some 'good' brands, like Country Casuals, Jaegar, Alexon etc as your 'best' clothes.

To be honest, there wasn't as much choice as there is now. If you are relatively young, you won't appreciate this! There was a big gap in the market between very young high-fashion and what we'd now see as middle aged clothes. None of the high st names like Fat Face, White Stuff, Mint Velvet, New Look, Mango, All Saints, etc existed. It was Dotty Perkins, Etam , Wallace or M&S.

There really was very little choice. I find it much easier now to buy clothes than I did in my 30s and early 40s when everything was for the very young or the very old. Now, me and my DDs buy the same things and even swap clothes.

Short hair was a fashion, not necessarily a statement of being older.

But even today, we all know women who dress older than their years, don't take much care of their appearance and are modern day Shirleys!

I watched this last night.
I took the ending to mean she was gokmg home (she said to Costos her husband was coming to collect her to bring her home)
Great film ! Her daughter being so cheeky to expect to move back in annoyed me

@Buddywoo

I am the same age as Pauline Collins and remember thinking she was frumpy in the film the first time I watched it. She was meant to be and then she blossomed.

Each generation thinks previous generations looked old and were frumpy. It will happen to you.

Exactly. She was meant to look like that.

If you take away the frumpy clothes, her situation is one which still exists.

There are women in unhappy marriages, women who married too young, without pursuing an education or gaining qualifications (as with Educating Rita) women who are trapped and can't see any way to escape.

The clothes she wore were only there to emphasise her circumstances. Clearly that worked hence the OP's thread!

I’m 46 and still having amazing sex with 36-year-old man with abs

Quality humble brag

I watched a tiktok once where a young women did her hair in an older style (short and used curlers) and she looked about 20 years older, think alot of it is style and fashion.

@cansu

I think lots of you are kidding yourselves. There are still many women trapped in unhappy marriages. It may not be about cooking for husbands but many stay home rather than go out with friends. Many are responsible for all the housework and childcare. They still carry the mental load of wife work. Yes more women work outside the home and but themselves nice stuff but the fundamental imbalance in domestic relationships is alive and kicking.

I agree. I didn't feel trapped in an unhappy marriage at the time, but I was responsible for all the housework and childcare, and it was hard for me to go out for many years as my exh worked away during the week - or came home when the kids were already in bed. I did other things which meant I didn't feel bored. By the time I was ready to date again after breaking up with my exh, the children were in their late teens so I could go out in the evening. I didn't go overboard, but it was definitely an amazing feeling to be out having fun like in my 20s :) I couldn't have done that at 42; just not possible.

Let's not forget Botox is rife now, but it wasn't available back then. Me and almost all of the women I know have Botox.

excuse me everybody but its CHIPS AND EGG

@BlondeDogLady

Let's not forget Botox is rife now, but it wasn't available back then. Me and almost all of the women I know have Botox.

I don't know anybody who has botox

Maybe we were just less superficial back then? I don't think people dressed for 'image' as much in those days. One of the big changes of the last 20 years is that many of us now spend an inordinate amount of time and energy wondering how we look to other people, and seeing ourselves through a camera lens, because social media means we could be photographed almost any time. If women from previous generations look 'frumpy', maybe they just spent less of their time worry about what others thought about their appearance.

@BlondeDogLady

Let's not forget Botox is rife now, but it wasn't available back then. Me and almost all of the women I know have Botox.

You aren't typical. Far more widespread are fewer people smoking and more people wearing SPF.

The thing is, Pauline Collins was almost 50 in 1989 when she filmed Shirley Valentine, not 42! She's a very attractive woman, but she looks her age, not 42!

Converse parka you say?

OK, case closed.