Not visiting boyfriend in hospital ...

[louloulemmonnnn]

My boyfriend is in hospital and has been since yesterday due to his asthma.
He is getting out in the morning.
I had my booster yesterday and feel dreadful today.
Feel sick /shivering/really tired and just generally awful.

He wants me to go visit him tonight as he said he is lonely ( he only went in at 9 pm last night and is being discharged tomorrow lunch time)
He wants me to take him chocolate .

He is making me feel really guilty but I honestly feel awful and when I stand up feel so lightheaded.
I don't drive so will have to walk into town (15 mins ) then get the bus which takes 35 mins to get to the hospital then same on the way home.
It's blowing a Gale and chucking it down.
I asked could I call him instead considering he is getting out tomorrow and is now absolutely fine.
He went in a huff and said if I loved him I would be going in.

Aibu not going?
Shall I just go?
Taxis would cost around £50-£60 return
I'm treating him to a meal out tomorrow and have paid for the Chinese for nye
Also I'm going into town tomorrow to get things to make him a nice breakfast on nye.

Aibu ?

[quote gindreams]@WasgijGods

You sound ghastly
[/quote]
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THIS

@BridStar

"If you loved me you would do that highly inappropriate thing I am demanding" is a threat. A threat to end the relationship. This is the sort of person he is. What a bully.

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and THIS

@TheNoodlesIncident

I can't imagine wanting somebody who is feeling ill to come out in poor weather just to spend an hour getting them some chocolate (and no doubt listen to them whinge). That's incredibly self-centred.

Equally awful is the whole If You Loved Me You Would Indulge My Every Whim shenanigans. I agree with the PP who suggested that children should be taught to respond appropriately to behaviours like this. It's actually repulsive, since it's clear the OP's boyfriend doesn't give a shiny shit how dreadful she feels, it's all about HIM and OP doesn't matter.

It would make a difference if OP was feeling just dandy, and he was going to be in for a long while, or he was much more ill than he is. Any of those circumstances would affect how unreasonable OP was in staying at home. But come on, she feels terrible, he's coming out in the morning and he sounds currently better than her health-wise!

His attitude stinks and I would reassessing the relationship at this point, as I wouldn't want to get landed with a selfish arse who doesn't care how rough his partner feels.

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Yes, and THIS
Very Well Put @TheNoodlesIncident

and to everyone else who have called out the couple of posters who are either barmy, or telling untruths to make the OP feel even worse.

OP, really, if he was adult enough to be in a relationship he would be insisting that you did NOT go into visit him. If he loved you, rather than himself, he would not try to blackmail you, and as said above, he would be begging you to not try to come in. You sound so lovely OP, please do not waste yourself on this man if he doesn't mend his ways very soon. 💐

Hi OP, my husband has been in hospital since May and likely to stay there well into the new year. I can only get to see him every two weeks as it's a four and a half hour journey each way. But if I felt as ill as you I would forego my visit for your sake, his and everyone staying and working on that ward.

Sorry, if this has all been resolved, I have only just seen your post. Hope you feel better soon

Steroids change your personality, I get angry and stupid when I am on them. And he is probably exhausted from breathing. Hopefully that explains his unreasonable behaviour.

You’re spending a lot of money on this guy and he has conveniently forgotten his wallet.

Does he treat you as well?

To answer the AIBU, please don’t go in.

He sounds really selfish.

The if you loved me remark would give me the Ick.

I felt absolutely awful after the booster, woke up freezing and felt like I had been hit by a bus.
My husband was fine.

My two son's got their's several days ago and both were wiped for 24 hours.

They are two big strapping men.
The under arm nodes of one were very swollen and he couldn't lift his arm.
Took two full days for him to feel ok.

I hope you stayed in bed.

@saltandherbsandnothingnice

It's a loving and polite no. Good opportunity to set some firm boundaries as it seems they are needed. "I would love if i could but I just dont feel well enough - sorry love! I'll phone you later."

Exactly this - I’d even use the same words!

Did you visit your boyfriend in the hospIal OP? Is your boyfriend home yet OP? In fact is he still your boyfriend? If so has he popmised to pull his socks up?