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Original poster

Crying over misunderstanding

625 replies

Onlyrainbows · 29/12/2021 01:34

Sorry MN I obviously have no one to talk to this time of day. My DH and I had a minor argument over "budgets" we agreed to to budget £500 per DC for clothes and presents (both birthdays and Christmas). He is of the idea that uniforms should be excluded, I think they should be included. Well, we originally agreed we'd let the oldest one about how much there was in there budgets, and the younger ones just tell them that they had a certain budget that counted for everything, so they could play around with it without knowing the amount. We did tell the oldest one, but my DH regrets it and now we have to retract it. We BOTH agreed that this is what needs to happen, bit then he went on about how we're going to disappoint the again. Then the conversation went sideways (he kept drinking during the course of it) but after 3 hours of it I just feel annoyed and sad that there were so many misunderstandings and there's always my upbringing Vs his and trying to make them align when in reay they were very different. He's asleep and I'm crying fairly pointlessly but I don't know what else to do.

OP posts:
Offmyfence · 29/12/2021 21:31

[quote 2022newname]@Offmyfence no - the Op mentioned upthread - she’s actually terribleluck[/quote]
Thank you, I was so confused!

Offmyfence · 29/12/2021 21:32

@Ovenaffray

(And this op admitted she was terribleluck here or I wouldn’t have shared that)
Thank you, I was so confused!
Clymene · 29/12/2021 21:32

Ohhhhh. That explains a lot

Offmyfence · 29/12/2021 21:33

@Onlyrainbows

No post is still there! If you don't share clothes with your DC that's not on me. We enjoy the same styles and can wear the same styles, so why not?
Because your daughter does it because she's got no decent clothes of her own!!!
MichelleScarn · 29/12/2021 21:35

@Onlyrainbows

No post is still there! If you don't share clothes with your DC that's not on me. We enjoy the same styles and can wear the same styles, so why not?
So dcs free choice to do this?
Ovenaffray · 29/12/2021 21:38

So dc have loads of clothes of their own to choose from and loads of shoes and bras but choose yours?

Not quite what you’ve said here op.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 29/12/2021 21:39

@Onlyrainbows

No post is still there! If you don't share clothes with your DC that's not on me. We enjoy the same styles and can wear the same styles, so why not?
Maybe because your children deserve to have their own clothing, they can afford it and not everyone begrudges their child underwear while gleefully sharing that they themselves are wearing knickers they got 20 years ago.
JSL52 · 29/12/2021 21:40

[quote Onlyrainbows]@oven actually late 30s but I do still enjoy lots of.tjose clothes. Today for the giggles the two eldest ones went through my closet. The 16yo decided he really likes my flares andy DD and I have chosen a few things to.go halves on. The joys of liking kawaii stuff and being a size 8. [/quote]
You're going halves on clothes with your daughter??? Just buy them

Fckingfuming · 29/12/2021 21:41

@secular39 no I'm not a bully, just trying to lighten the mood on a thread that's getting more bonkers by the minute 😂

Ovenaffray · 29/12/2021 21:41

Can I point out. This thread - the op says the budgets are now doubled to £500 so those kids were getting all clothes including uniforms and all Christmas and birthday presents for £250 each. Except for the 9 year old because they only get hand me downs.

But the dad can afford to be drinking and the op is planning a boob job and a 10k holiday.

LittleBabyCheeses · 29/12/2021 21:49

So up until now you spent £250 per year per child, which included clothes, shoes, underwear, uniform, Christmas and birthday presents?

We have a similar household income to you. 3 children who are here full time. I put £100 a month into a ‘clothes/shoes’ account, £150 a month into an ‘extra curricular activities’ account and £150 a month into a ‘Christmas/birthdays’ account. Sometimes money gets moved around, all accounts have some left at the end of the year. I don’t spend exactly the same on each of them as they have different needs/interests etc.

Original poster
Onlyrainbows · 29/12/2021 22:00

@oven you're still missing the point in the difference in salaries and no the 9yo didn't just live on hand me downs. She had more of an assortment because she has hand me down plus whatever she might need, just line the 12yo has a thing for my closet so we end up sharing. Bur as mentioned before this is now more or less reserved to tops/ jackets because she's outgrown me. The 16yo tried.my jeans today and asked if he could borrow them, why not? For the record he has a3 pairs of jeans that fit.

OP posts:
Clymene · 29/12/2021 22:03

@Ovenaffray

Can I point out. This thread - the op says the budgets are now doubled to £500 so those kids were getting all clothes including uniforms and all Christmas and birthday presents for £250 each. Except for the 9 year old because they only get hand me downs.

But the dad can afford to be drinking and the op is planning a boob job and a 10k holiday.

Don't forget the fact that in November she couldn't even afford a laptop to do a job interview on.
Original poster
Onlyrainbows · 29/12/2021 22:07

@clymene no I couldn't as I've aleo explained I was living on £1300 net. I still am, but I'm.libing from.my future salary that I still haven't earned. I genuinely don't know why that's so hard to understand.

OP posts:
ldontWanna · 29/12/2021 22:12

A 16 yo boy not only fits in your jeans but wants to wear them? Yeah.. sure.

MichelleScarn · 29/12/2021 22:16

You, your 12 yo dd and 16 ds are all the same clothes size?

Original poster
Onlyrainbows · 29/12/2021 22:16

I don't find it so bizarre his dad used to buy women's jeans from top shop.

OP posts:
LittleBabyCheeses · 29/12/2021 22:18

@MichelleScarn

You, your 12 yo dd and 16 ds are all the same clothes size?
No, the 12 year old is too big for them now apparently.
Original poster
Onlyrainbows · 29/12/2021 22:19

My 12yo is slightly bigger than me, the 16yo is slimmer than me (but around same height). They were trying to figure out their jeans size, so we could get some from ASOS.

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 29/12/2021 22:20

Don't find it bizarre at all a male choosing to wear 'female' clothing. 90s teen here, hello Brian Molko (🥰.) Its the you, your 12dd, 16ds are all the same size?

LittleBabyCheeses · 29/12/2021 22:28

Regardless of anything else OP, I don’t understand what your argument was about in the OP? You said you’d have to retract it and disappoint them, why? Did you decide that the £500 was too much?

Pipsquiggle · 29/12/2021 22:28

@Onlyrainbows you've only told us late on in this thread (that goes on forever) that this would be from money you haven't earned yet - which will be a month or so away.

You need to just carry on as normal until you actually have the money in your bank.

BTW - this thread (you) is very difficult to follow.

Original poster
Onlyrainbows · 29/12/2021 22:30

@Pips I think I always said it was "from next year" I thought that would be clear enough? In the end we didn't retract anything we just kind of played dumb on the whole amount while they were trying to buy some clothes online.

OP posts:
LittleBabyCheeses · 29/12/2021 22:35

Yes but what was the argument about? Did you decide to budget less than the £500?

Ovenaffray · 29/12/2021 22:36

[quote Onlyrainbows]@Pips I think I always said it was "from next year" I thought that would be clear enough? In the end we didn't retract anything we just kind of played dumb on the whole amount while they were trying to buy some clothes online. [/quote]
Not in the original op you didn’t.

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