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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DP doesn’t like what he ordered, wants half of mine?

257 replies

DietCokeChipsAndMayo · 28/12/2021 21:51

We ordered a takeaway tonight, DP always orders different things, I stick to what I know to avoid this exact scenario

His food has come - he doesn’t like it, he thinks I should half my meal and give it to him as we have sides and it will be enough

It will be enough - but why tf shouldn’t I get my whole meal just because he mis-ordered?!

I told him to order another main and warm up some sides when it gets here, now he’s cutting his nose off to spite his face and says he just won’t eat anything 🙄

Who is BU?

OP posts:

Xmasbaby11 · 28/12/2021 23:17

I would share, and he would with me.

If it happened often, I'd over order to make sure we had enough. It's an annoying trait, sure, but I have those too.

JeffThePilot · 28/12/2021 23:18

In this situation I’d share, then order more of a dish I liked, then when tat arrived share that too.

But my husband wouldn’t leave me without food like yours did. Now I’ve read that, I’d remind him of that time and get on with eating my dinner.

ArrrMeHearties · 28/12/2021 23:18

He is being very unreasonable. He ordered what he wanted and doesn't like it that's his problem not yours

AliMonkey · 28/12/2021 23:18

Both of you (but mainly you). I can't imagine not sharing my food in that situation, unless it happened frequently when you'd be right to be annoyed. But then we tend to share takeaways anyway - eg we choose one main and one side each but with the intention of sharing all of it, unless one specifically wants something the other doesn't. Having said that, I don't think he should automatically assume you'll give him half of yours, but reasonable to expect you to share eg a third of it. I'd do that for a friend so really can't imagine not doing it for my partner.

Yuledo · 28/12/2021 23:21

I’d give him some but not half.

I’m unadventurous like you, to avoid the same situation.

GatoradeMeBitch · 28/12/2021 23:26

If he doesn't share, he shouldn't expect you to.

And he's a twat to not just order something else. Let him go to bed hungry and kid himself that he made a point. Enjoy your food.

jputthekettleon · 28/12/2021 23:28

I voted YABU until I read your update about the McDonald’s! That’s terrible to not offer you some when yours wasn’t in there.

However when we order takeaway Chinese or Indian we order to share it all unless there’s say one thing in particular the other doesn’t like … I didn’t realise people didn’t share!

SleepingStandingUp · 28/12/2021 23:29

@HerRoyalNotness

He’s an adult. If it doesn’t make him vomit or is allergic to it he should just get on with it and eat it! I’ve eaten many meals I didn’t particularly like in my time.

I get food waste is bad but honestly, why would you sit and eat disgusting tasting food unless that was literally all there was?

AutumnLeaves21 · 28/12/2021 23:29

Unless this was a regular occurrence, can’t imagine being this mean. My DH would 100% share his meal with me, and I would with him. Because we love each other and aren’t selfish.

BertramLacey · 28/12/2021 23:29

We always choose things both of us like when ordering takeaways and share it.

But how did you initially know if you liked it or not? Everything's new and unknown at some point.

My partner and I would each share each other's in this case. I know the OP's partner has poor form for this but it seems like they're both BU. We just make sure there's food for everyone and we can all share something new to try, if we want to.

Feedingthebirds1 · 28/12/2021 23:37

OP let's get back to first principles. What's your DP like generally? Does he do his share in the house, does he do family money or is it 'what's mine is mine'? Are there other issues in the relationship, does he usually expect to be king or is this rare?

FairFuming · 28/12/2021 23:40

Touch my food feel my fork

All you have to say

Lunde · 28/12/2021 23:49

@Porcupineintherough

God would you really begrudge him a share of your food? How depressing, or is your relationship on its last legs or something?

@Porcupineintherough - it is depressing that he refused to offer as much as a chip when the McD's order was messed up leaving her with no food but now expects her to "share"

JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 28/12/2021 23:52

We always share if it's Chinese/Indian/Thai food so it wouldn't matter, even if it was burger and chips I'd share, but so would DH, yours already didn't when your McDonald's didn't show up, so it's just karma.
As an aside this scenario always works out well for me because I love spicy food, DH tells DS that mummy can eat fire and not blink! When I was pregnant it was like a super power, I used to crave green chillies.

WiddlinDiddling · 29/12/2021 00:24

Omg anyone would think the op has left her DH without a scrap to eat at all, which is not the case, there's the sides, there's whatever else is in the house. He's not being left to starve!

It really doesn't matter if you like to put it all in the middle of the table and share, evidently lots of folk don't like to do that (or the Smithy scene wouldn't be a thing!) and in this case it seems there's history here of the DH both not sharing himself and assuming someone else will rectify his errors for him... and his passive aggressive behaviour when they won't...

I think it perfectly reasonable not to share in this situation.

If I or my OH want to try something we're not sure on we discuss the options of either sharing, or ordering extra as a back up. He'd share his but I'd not like it, I rarely eat all of mine, but he might not like it, so discussion first seems smarter than just assuming!

Wife2b · 29/12/2021 00:25

I always stick to what I know, my other half usually tries something new. I wouldn’t want him to be sad and visa versa so of course I’d share. If you have enough I don’t see what the problem is.

GiantHaystacks2021 · 29/12/2021 00:26

BigFatLiar Tue 28-Dec-21 21:53:22
Both of you.
Him for wanting some of yours
You for not trying new things now and again.
Have you tried some of what he ordered?

I think YABU.
Why does she have to try new things if she already likes what she has?
You sound very controlling.

JustLyra · 29/12/2021 00:35

If it wasn’t for the McDonalds update I’d have said share.

No chance I would share with someone who has shown that when it’s me without they’ll just scoff all of theirs.

He’s got food, he’s just not keen on it. That’s his problem.

zoeFromCity · 29/12/2021 00:38

YANBU, there is no right to your food. And he hasn't worked on good will either.

We shared when (my) part was missing, switched when (his) food came with unexpected ingredients and the switch was ok for me, sometimes we order larger portion to support (my) tasting and keeping enough for him.
I'd offer some of mine if it was once off, but ordering wildly and expecting yours sounds too much cf.

eveningbubble · 29/12/2021 01:45

I'd share with anyone in that situation, and said you were unreasonable but if he didn't even give you a miserable McDonald's French fry when yours were missing, feck him, let him go hungry, YANBU. ummm a little bit of karma...

whynotwhatknot · 29/12/2021 11:08

no and he probably wouldnt even ask id just give him the sidesmaybe

why should op give up half because he just doesnt fancy his -when he had a mcdonalds and wouldnt share when hers didnt even turn up

Porcupineintherough · 29/12/2021 11:10

She shouldnt even be in a relationship with someone who wouldnt share his chips with her tbh.

Heartbroker · 29/12/2021 11:11

How much food do you really need to eat? There is usually way too food in a takeaway. I find gluttony unattractive in a partner.

Sparklfairy · 29/12/2021 11:19

@Heartbroker

How much food do you really need to eat? There is usually way too food in a takeaway. I find gluttony unattractive in a partner.

Way to miss the point. I rarely get takeaways but when I do I buy loads, and I mean loads. I like leftover curry for breakfast. I don't think OP gives two shits on your opinion on gluttony.

hangrylady · 29/12/2021 13:28

@hellohithere

Omgggggggg you are. How sad posting about a take away with your husband on here....... seriously

Omggggg, are you 12?

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