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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DP doesn’t like what he ordered, wants half of mine?

257 replies

DietCokeChipsAndMayo · 28/12/2021 21:51

We ordered a takeaway tonight, DP always orders different things, I stick to what I know to avoid this exact scenario

His food has come - he doesn’t like it, he thinks I should half my meal and give it to him as we have sides and it will be enough

It will be enough - but why tf shouldn’t I get my whole meal just because he mis-ordered?!

I told him to order another main and warm up some sides when it gets here, now he’s cutting his nose off to spite his face and says he just won’t eat anything 🙄

Who is BU?

OP posts:

alfagirl73 · 28/12/2021 22:47

YANBU if he is my exBIL who was the most insufferably dull person on the planet, but managed to turn ordering a takeaway into this bizarre bullshit performance, where he'd take FOREVER to deliberate over the takeaway menu and then order some random weird dish he'd never had before - and then pretentiously go on and on about how "interesting" it sounded... it seemed to make him feel superior to the rest of us - and like he was so much more cultured than everyone else.

I was always thinking "its a fucking takeaway on a Friday night from the Happy Dragon... we're not on a once in a lifetime trip to the Fat Duck! Just order something you like FFS and stop being a pretentious prick!". I'm generally quite adventurous with trying new dishes, cuisine etc... but seriously a takeaway really doesn't have to be that much hard work.

The food would inevitably turn up and his weird dish would be disgusting - and he'd sit there pretending he was taking his time with it when actually he just couldn't eat it!

I got great amusement watching this bullshit performance every time - I think it was the most excitement he ever got in life.

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2021 22:47

I'd share mine without even thinking about it but then so would my DH.

I thought it was what people just do if they quite like one another.

Youdoyoutoday · 28/12/2021 22:48

How very pathetic of the both of you.

You can't share with the person you supposedly love and he sulks like a child.

AnotherMansCause · 28/12/2021 22:48

You are both BU.

Him for ordering all dishes he didn't know if he'd like them or not, then sulking & refusing to deal with it / expecting you to sort it oit for him;
You for not at least offering to share somw of your order with him if, as you say, there would be sufficient food to share between the two of you.

However if it's not the first time this has happened I would be inclined to say he's slightly more U because you planned ahead & ordered something you knew you'd like. He basically ordered blind & it didn't work out for him, but it would be kind for you to share yours with him. Does he /would he share /help you out if you make errors like this?

HerRoyalNotness · 28/12/2021 22:53

He’s an adult. If it doesn’t make him vomit or is allergic to it he should just get on with it and eat it! I’ve eaten many meals I didn’t particularly like in my time.

Weenurse · 28/12/2021 22:55

If he did not share his Macca, then I would not share my takeaway

FuckeryIsAfoot · 28/12/2021 22:56

This is why we order a third dish if we ever want to try something new but are worried we won't enjoy it.

He is BU.

LittleRoundRobin · 28/12/2021 22:57

Well that IS annoying @DietCokeChipsAndMayo especially if he does it a lot, but it's really quite mean-spirited to not share your food. The passive aggressive 'well I won't bother eating at all' thing is a bit annoying though.

Reminds me of my DH, some years back... There were no cereal bowls clean this one morning, as all 6 had been used the previous day and no-one had washed them up. So he went to work without breakfast, because he wanted cereal ONLY, and was too fucking bone idle to wash one of the bowls.

I just ignored his toddler tantrum, ate my yogurt, and carried on reading the paper. I thought 'fucking starve then. I'm not washing a bowl for you, I'm not your fucking maid.'

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/12/2021 22:59

I think giving him some would be reasonable, but half is pushing it. Your meal is obviously long past now, but I’d just give him a bit and he could pad that out with sides.

CactusLemonSpice · 28/12/2021 23:00

I would share, but would be miffed if I was told to share before I got the chance to make my generous offer of sharing.

However, in this situation, I'm pretty sure my DP would just stoicly eat his own unpleasant dish - because it's the right thing to do

ExquisitelyDecorated · 28/12/2021 23:00

We share by default, but would order enough that if something like this happened we'd still have enough. You can't re-order just one dish, they all have a minimum for delivery of about £20 around here.

Ikeameatballs · 28/12/2021 23:01

We’d have discussed this at the time of ordering:

“I’d like to try X, if I don’t like it can I have some of your Y?” Then taken it from there. If there’s enough food I can’t understand why you’d not share?

Itsalmostanaccessory · 28/12/2021 23:01

I have never ordered a take away and had just the thing I ordered. We always put it on the table family style and eat a bit of everything.

Just share.

peachesarenom · 28/12/2021 23:03

I think he's being unreasonable but in his position I would do the same and my DH always shares!

HelloDulling · 28/12/2021 23:03

Unless I actually hated him, I’d share. You said yourself there’s enough for you both if you do that.

But you’d still prefer him to go without. Okay.

AuditAngel · 28/12/2021 23:03

I would share, but DH would offer me his meal if I was unhappy with mine.

I wouldn’t want his as he usually orders lamb which I don’t like, but he’d still offer it.

Balula · 28/12/2021 23:05

I'm like Smithy and Joey with this. I order what I know I like and I don't share my own food. It's my one selfish trait.

BurntO · 28/12/2021 23:09

I’d be annoyed if anyone felt entitled to my meal. But I’d always offer to my partner if they didn’t like theirs. The entitlement would annoy me

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2021 23:09

@Balula

I'm like Smithy and Joey with this. I order what I know I like and I don't share my own food. It's my one selfish trait.

Even with someone you're supposed to love? You'd sit and eat it in front of them while they ate nothing?

I don't get this sort of behaviour at all.

rainyskylight · 28/12/2021 23:09

I would share with DH and he would with me.

PufferFishGoneWrong · 28/12/2021 23:11

My PIL does this. No way are we sharing, I get something I know I would like.

AlwaysLatte · 28/12/2021 23:11

I wouldn't mind as we always put the dishes in the middle of the table and share - also they're huge, so half would be plenty, especially with extras. Did you like it?

thisplaceisweird · 28/12/2021 23:12

I actually like my partner so yes I would share

SleepingStandingUp · 28/12/2021 23:13

Well takeout here can take anywhere from 20 minutes (pizza) to 60 (Chinese) so I wouldn't expect him to sit and watch me eat all mine whisky waiting for his and then him sit and eat it with microwaved side bits.

And if there's enough food to share then presumably there's wither going to be waste or you're going to have to eat past full. So refusing to share seems rather mean.

But then I like DH. I would share mine and try his. Lots of people on here just don't seem to like their partners so the lack fo sharing doesn't surprise me

Jumpingintochristmas · 28/12/2021 23:13

I would share with DH but he would share with me too.

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