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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DP doesn’t like what he ordered, wants half of mine?

257 replies

DietCokeChipsAndMayo · 28/12/2021 21:51

We ordered a takeaway tonight, DP always orders different things, I stick to what I know to avoid this exact scenario

His food has come - he doesn’t like it, he thinks I should half my meal and give it to him as we have sides and it will be enough

It will be enough - but why tf shouldn’t I get my whole meal just because he mis-ordered?!

I told him to order another main and warm up some sides when it gets here, now he’s cutting his nose off to spite his face and says he just won’t eat anything 🙄

Who is BU?

OP posts:

OverByYer · 28/12/2021 22:00

I normally can't manage a whole dish anyway

ISpyCobraKai · 28/12/2021 22:04

Good for him for trying something new, but that's the chance you take.
Does he not like it as much as his usual, or does he hate it so much he'll puke if he eats it?
I suspect the first.

SnowdropSally · 28/12/2021 22:04

Tell him to order something he knows he’ll like in future. What a waste of money and food if he’s not going to eat what he ordered. We always choose things both of us like when ordering takeaways and share it. In this scenario no I wouldn’t share my food - he’d be welcome to the leftovers, it’s his problem he ordered something if he had no idea of he’d like it or not.

WorriedGiraffe · 28/12/2021 22:04

If there’s enough food then share! You sound like a pair of teenage siblings. If there wasn’t enough food it’d be different, but ordering another extra meal when you don’t need to is just wasteful really.

Original poster

DietCokeChipsAndMayo · 28/12/2021 22:05

What he ordered was too spicy for me, I did try it and would’ve swapped if I liked it
He’s disliked his order before but not asked for any of mine, I also don’t think he’d share if it was the other way round - in fact a few months ago we ordered from McDonald’s and they didn’t put my order in, he didn’t even offer me one of his chips
We don’t really share food I’m realising

OP posts:

SnarkyBag · 28/12/2021 22:06

Ah well in that case screw him don’t share!

Original poster

DietCokeChipsAndMayo · 28/12/2021 22:06

@ISpyCobraKai

Good for him for trying something new, but that's the chance you take. Does he not like it as much as his usual, or does he hate it so much he'll puke if he eats it? I suspect the first.

Definitely the first, he’s being a bit of a baby tbh

OP posts:

mediumbrownmug · 28/12/2021 22:07

YANBU. If you had offered to share half because you wanted to, fine. There have been times I’ve absolutely done that. But it is your food, and if he asks he should be prepared to hear that actually you’re hungry and want to eat what you ordered. I’ve absolutely done that too!

People’s assumptions of what will be enough vary widely. For instance, if he had genuinely thought that one dish was enough to begin with, he would have offered to split one dish. But he ordered his own. And now that he doesn’t like it, he finds one dish (yours) enough to split. And today you don’t. Neither of you is being unreasonable, but your wants are not compatible. Therefore in this situation he should respect your no and order more.

EarthStoodHardAsPrion · 28/12/2021 22:09

@DietCokeChipsAndMayo

What he ordered was too spicy for me, I did try it and would’ve swapped if I liked it He’s disliked his order before but not asked for any of mine, I also don’t think he’d share if it was the other way round - in fact a few months ago we ordered from McDonald’s and they didn’t put my order in, he didn’t even offer me one of his chips We don’t really share food I’m realising

Wow! Definitely wouldn’t be giving him a thing, and if he says a word about it, I’d be reminding him of his previous behaviour.

LittleGungHo · 28/12/2021 22:10

Just share. I am always surprised when people will not share food. You do not need a whole take away dish plus sides for yourself.

StarShapedWindow · 28/12/2021 22:11

I would have offered him half - that’s what a friend would do and my DH is also my friend. Although he would do the same - perhaps it would be different if he wouldn’t offer his own meal if I’d ordered something I didn’t like. It seems an odd thing to be married to someone but not want to share?

BigFatLiar · 28/12/2021 22:13

@notacooldad

Both of you Him for wanting some of yours You for not trying new things now and again

Why is not wanting to try something new unreasonable if you dont want to.

Why is not wanting to try something new unreasonable if you don't want to

A philosophy to raise children by.

It's fine but if you don't try new things you may miss out on a great experience. Makes me think of people who go to Chinese restaurants and have chicken and chips.

Gilly12345 · 28/12/2021 22:13

DP is a twat.

madisonbridges · 28/12/2021 22:18

He is.
Was I was in my teens my mum used to send me to the off licence for a bottle of pop and she'd say I could buy myself a chocolate bar. Despite me asking, she always used to say she didn't want one. Then when I got home, she'd want to share mine. I mean why? Why couldn't she just get one of her own. It really ticked me off. It still rankles.
So op, I'm totally with you. You make a bad decision, go and make yourself some toast.

Goldbar · 28/12/2021 22:18

Why can't he just order something else? I hate people who spoil other people's meals by imposing upon them with their inconsiderate food habits. I have a family member who never orders pudding in a restaurant but will always ask others for 'just a taste' (usually half the portion!). So unbelievably irritating! Just order your own...

RealBecca · 28/12/2021 22:20

Ffs just share. You're not going to starve

godmum56 · 28/12/2021 22:20

I'd offer to share but if it happened regularly i'd be peeved....also offering is one thing but I'd be narked at being expected to do it.

LolaSmiles · 28/12/2021 22:22

I have a family member who never orders pudding in a restaurant but will always ask others for 'just a taste' (usually half the portion!). So unbelievably irritating! Just order your own...
Are we related?

Does your relative also have form for not ordering sided and then thinking they can 'just have a couple of chips from yours' too?
Of course, they 'couldn't manage' their own side, but seem perfectly capable of having a little bit from everyone else given half the chance.

StFrancisdeCompostela · 28/12/2021 22:22

I think you’re being a bit petty. Can’t imagine not sharing with my husband under these circumstances.

SmolCat · 28/12/2021 22:22

What was it?

Figgyboa · 28/12/2021 22:23

I would share with my DP and him with me.

Porcupineintherough · 28/12/2021 22:23

God would you really begrudge him a share of your food? How depressing, or is your relationship on its last legs or something?

StrawberryFizz26 · 28/12/2021 22:24

Him

sadpapercourtesan · 28/12/2021 22:25

Are the more recent posters missing the fact that when McDonalds failed to deliver her order along with his, he didn't even offer her a chip?

The guy is selfish, childish and greedy. Bin him off, OP. Make it a New Year to be proud of.

dudsville · 28/12/2021 22:26

He's not your colleague, he's your life long loved one. The one you've entrusted your wellbeing to. You should both want to both to be happy.

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