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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling horrible. Just wanting an outlet.

146 replies

heldinadream · 26/12/2021 21:47

I hate christmas and I don't really like having people in my house, I find it stressful. I usually avoid the xmas thing by housesitting but our housesit fell through because covid, and now I have staying with me and my DH the people that I most love in the world and more of them coming tomorrow and the people who are staying have just come in and started to make themselves a meal - having said they would have eaten. I stay in control of my emotions by keeping the kitchen how I like it, keeping it in my control. So that's gone, and I now feel like cancelling tomorrow. I feel like utter shit. I feel so angry but not angry at anyone. I love them to pieces but this is not good for me.
There are no answers. Thank you for listening.

They've also trod dirt up the staircase and knocked a picture off the wall (it's unharmed).
I never want to see hair nor hide of xmas again. If I don't get a house-sit next year I'm fucking off somewhere anyway.

OP posts:
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 27/12/2021 08:48

[quote heldinadream]@RampantIvy if I'd cancelled them I'd have felt like a terrible mean mother who didn't want to see her dd or gorgeous baby dgd- and I did want to see them I just wanted to be in control of a few things.[/quote]
But you weren't going to see them anyway, if you were away house-sitting

IloveRitaConnors · 27/12/2021 08:49

YANBU in feeling like this but I don't invite people to my house like this at all due to this. I would never invite over to my house then feel like I had to go elsewhere, that is crackers to me. Just don't do what your not comfortable with, they're family they should know you by now and love anyway.

Nacknick · 27/12/2021 08:54

God I know what you mean OP. 10 of us here and four who seem intent on using every cup and glass in the house and then leaving it and all their other shit for someone else to clear up. I ranted about the fucking cheese yesterday evening as it was put out and then just abandoned on the table at bed time. Because of course the tidying up fairies will put it away like everything else.
Yes. I am uptight. But a couple of us have worked our arses off to make a nice Christmas and I don’t need to have my workload added to in this manner.
I do feel better now for having said that though.

Crazykatie · 27/12/2021 08:54

OH got a daughter like this, never expect food or even a cup of tea when you arrive, just doesn’t occur to her, otherwise she’s fine and wants to see us, she does struggle with ME so that’s the main reason
Solution for us, offer to take them to the local pub for lunch, easily the best way to get fed and readily accepted.

Nacknick · 27/12/2021 08:56

And NONE of these things would matter as much if they were put right afterwards - picture put back up, mud cleaned up, kitchen tidied and cleaned afterwards.

But they never do. Not here anyway.

BIWI · 27/12/2021 08:58

FFS there are some incredibly mean posts on this thread, starting with the very first reply.

Why can't people think about what a poster is posting and why they might be posting that? Why can't people read between the lines? And above all, why can't people have a bit of compassion and empathy for someone who is obviously suffering?

It may not be a situation others are in, but that doesn't mean you have to stamp all over another woman's feelings.

Why do people feel the need to stick the boot in, just because they can?

HeadNorth · 27/12/2021 09:03

And NONE of these things would matter as much if they were put right afterwards - picture put back up, mud cleaned up, kitchen tidied and cleaned afterwards.

Honestly, these things do not matter compared to being with the people you love. If you would rather have an immaculate kitchen then see your granchildren, then own that choice. Don't invite them then bittery resent them for spoiling your showhome. I would rather my house was a place of love for my children than immaculate, I find women who prioritise keeping their possesions perfect over family deeply sad.

Getabloominmoveon · 27/12/2021 09:04

I love having people in our house. In fact I think I’m made for a commune. However my husband is completely different, very introverted, needs his space, gets stressed by mess and noise. This Christmas we’ve had family staying, so I booked 5 nights in a hotel around the corner for us to sleep in. Our room has a little kitchen etc so he can stay here and read and/or have time with the family. Perfect solution which I’ll definitely do again.

niceandsimple · 27/12/2021 09:06

Hi, I am like this too. In many ways I love seeing people and having family come round , but the mess, noise, chaos and general disruption to routine makes it so hard.
I have learnt to manage this, by repeatedly talking to myself. Telling myself that there will be mess, noise etc. but that can all be tidied afterwards. Telling myself that it is only temporary.
I also try to get up half an hour before everyone else to put away mess, rather than do it before bed, as I am so exhausted by the mess that I need to shut myself off.
Another thing is to take myself off to bed/for a walk/ to an empty room for breaks every couple of hours.
Just the awareness that it is the disruption that is causing the discomfort has really helped me manage it, as I know that the disruption will end.

sofakingcool · 27/12/2021 09:08

@BIWI

FFS there are some incredibly mean posts on this thread, starting with the very first reply.

Why can't people think about what a poster is posting and why they might be posting that? Why can't people read between the lines? And above all, why can't people have a bit of compassion and empathy for someone who is obviously suffering?

It may not be a situation others are in, but that doesn't mean you have to stamp all over another woman's feelings.

Why do people feel the need to stick the boot in, just because they can?

Because people can just be bloody narrow minded!

@heldinadream , I totally get you. I don't have any tips to give you (I'd just hide away if I was feeling like you. But just wanted you to know, I totally understand Thanks

ravenmum · 27/12/2021 09:11

Mumsnet is not a community of psychotherapists. When you post on here it's like sharing your issues with the random person sitting next to you on the bus. They might be sympathetic and lovely, they might not have a clue what you are on about and/or have their own issues. Take what's helpful. If it's not helpful, leave it behind.

OP my mum gets massively wound up by this sort of thing, too. The whole family is well aware of it. I am pretty sure that, like you, she tries to keep it all under the surface, and is even more wound up than she shows us. Your idea of going off house sitting sounds practical, but on the other hand it means you don't get to see as much of your family, doesn't it? So maybe even though it's stressful for you, you could remember it afterwards as the year you managed to survive the stress despite yourself, and saw your family?

Maybe also have a quiet word with your daughter before she leaves and say you wish you didn't get so stressed, and it's not her fault? (If that's the case.)

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/12/2021 09:11

I take it there is at least one other person living in the house with you, if they were coming anyway even if you weren’t there? Otherwise why would they come to stay.

I do think you need to reframe a lot of this stuff in your head. You’re complaining that you didn’t like them coming in and making themselves a meal. But plenty of adult children would have arrived and sat back and expected to be cooked for, even if they’d said originally that they wouldn’t need a meal. You haven’t made It clear HOW they went about making this meal and that makes a huge difference. Eg they might have arrived and said “oh we’re so sorry, I know we said we wouldn’t need a meal when we arrived but we’ve had a nightmare and the chicken we had in was off when we opened it/DH had to work late and the baby was screaming and wouldn’t be put down so we decided to leave early in the hope the car journey would send her to sleep. No, don’t get up, we don’t want to put you to any trouble, we’ll make it ourselves, just let me know if there are any items in the fridge we can use. We’ll replace it tomorrow if it’s earmarked for tomorrow’s dinner. Have you already eaten? Would you want some if we make it?”

If that was the way it panned out then they seem like perfectly nice, well-mannered and thoughtful people whose lives are a bit frantic with work and a young baby and who would appreciate a warm welcome when they return to the family home.

If, however, they just barged in with no apologies, didn’t ask if they could use anything out of the fridge, used the specific food item you had planned to use for a meal next day leaving you short, with no offer to replace it, left a mess in the kitchen for you to deal with, didn’t offer to make you some or checked if you’d already eaten, expected you to mind the baby while they both cooked, etc etc, stayed up late being noisy and keeping you awake, then none of that is being remotely thoughtful or well-mannered and would piss anyone off. Oh, there are weirdos on MN who insist that they like having their house taken over like that by their adult children and love the noisy chaos it brings. That they don’t mind it when they bring loads of random people back from the pub while they’re staying etc etc. But to me that’s just getting walked over. It’s incredibly rude and entitled, Close family or not.

That’s my take on it, OP. If it was done in the first way then I would count yourself very lucky you have brought up such a lovely thoughtful daughter. Second scenario, they need telling to grow up and be more considerate.

How do you cope with your DH doing his own thing which may impact on you, out of interest?

Ponoka7 · 27/12/2021 09:14

"Why do people feel the need to stick the boot in, just because they can?"

I don't think that they are. If the OP wants a good relationship with her DD and GC then she needs professional help and not telling that this is normal. Other posters who are sympathetic aren't talking about their children visiting. There's many a thread on the Stately home section from people damaged because their mother's MH was prioritised. As well as the threads on SILs etc.
The OP is definitely not going to cope with a toddler and that is sad, toddler GC bring so much joy. The OP hates Christmas because it means seeing her child and GC, so they don't visit at any other time?
The OP needs to make a choice now, to live with what's going on and have to run away, or to get to a point that she can enjoy family life. Surely your children and grandchildren aren't that unimportant that they aren't worth trying for?

Ponoka7 · 27/12/2021 09:16

'Oh, there are weirdos on MN who insist that they like having their house taken over like that by their adult children and love the noisy chaos it brings. '

I don't think it's weird to enjoy the noise and activity that grandchildren bring, or enjoy being asked to hold your newborn GC, who you haven't seen, while your adult children get on with things. Do you honestly thing that it is?

ApplesinmyPocket · 27/12/2021 09:17

@BIWI

FFS there are some incredibly mean posts on this thread, starting with the very first reply.

Why can't people think about what a poster is posting and why they might be posting that? Why can't people read between the lines? And above all, why can't people have a bit of compassion and empathy for someone who is obviously suffering?

It may not be a situation others are in, but that doesn't mean you have to stamp all over another woman's feelings.

Why do people feel the need to stick the boot in, just because they can?

I've been around MN about as long as you, BIWI, and I have watched it become a place of belligerence and spite. Disagreement and scorn with whatever an OP says, "just because I can". Oh, not all over MN. Pockets of friendship and support remain.

OP your distress about this situation shines out. I hope you can find a place within yourself to be more comfortable and peaceful today, and that your family are kind.

PineappleMojito · 27/12/2021 09:21

@BIWI

FFS there are some incredibly mean posts on this thread, starting with the very first reply.

Why can't people think about what a poster is posting and why they might be posting that? Why can't people read between the lines? And above all, why can't people have a bit of compassion and empathy for someone who is obviously suffering?

It may not be a situation others are in, but that doesn't mean you have to stamp all over another woman's feelings.

Why do people feel the need to stick the boot in, just because they can?

Reading between the lines, I think some people who have posted negative responses may have had issues themselves with anxious family members who perhaps didn’t contain their anxiety well. It can be very damaging. The OP in this case though sounds like she’s trying hard to contain it and knows that how she feels is her own stuff and not necessarily what the visitors are doing to cause it (though I guess not helped by a lack of predictability)

Having an anxious parent can be very hard, because you do often feel like you’re always doing something wrong even when you try your best to clean up after yourself, etc. My mum is very particular about the state of her house, and it’s difficult to help her with the cleaning up when we visit because things have to be done a certain way and to a certain standard, which I have never ever met - my ADHD means I always miss things, forget stuff, etc. My dad is also highly anxious bordering on OCD, which has been made worse during Covid. It is stressful and you can feel very controlled and criticised by a parent’s anxiety if you aren’t able to set good boundaries for yourself as an adult. It can be damaging to a child - I know I felt growing up with my mum that I was a hopeless case, I couldn’t do anything right for her when it came to housework in particular and she still criticises my home now - the result of that being she is not welcome to visit our home any more, because she can’t help it. I know it’s because a house that is not perfectly clean and tidy top to bottom triggers her anxiety and she can’t help this, but what she says comes out as mean, so the boundary I’ve had to set is that she doesn’t visit. It’s sad, but I’d rather that than feel terrible about myself even when I’ve tried my best to have the house nice for her coming and all she sees is the flaws.

I’m not suggesting OP is doing any of this btw - this is just my experience of having anxious parents who need things a certain way and to help understand why some posters here might have had similar experiences and therefore find it easier to empathise with the OP’s daughter than the OP.

Normski67 · 27/12/2021 09:23

I hope you feel better this morning. I think you need to have a little chat and establish some boundaries (like shoes off) without going OTT or making them feel unwelcome.
I like the idea from a PP of doing half an hr ‘on’ then taking half an hr on your own to decompress, what do you think of that?
Lots of people find hosting stressful, I’m doing it tomorrow and whilst I love seeing people I get stressed about the house being messed up. However it needs to be carefully balanced with not being unwelcoming. Hope you have a good day with your DD & grandchild.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/12/2021 09:27

Ponoka, I didn’t mean normal extra noise and activity and holding your grandchildren, no. I meant inconsiderate extra noise and activity. Coming in and expecting to be waited on hand and foot and not recognising the extra expense that hosting extra people for a few days brings. Leaving Mum alone in the kitchen to prepare various meals for vegan visitor while everyone else sits in the living room drinking and having a laugh, without even popping to the kitchen to see if you can help with something. Leaving mess everywhere. Not doing any washing up or laundry etc. Announcing they are going to the pub to meet friends, or disappearing for hours to have a bath, and literally handing you the baby, without even checking it’s ok. Totally ignoring the fact that you said you had a headache and were off for an early night then inviting friends over till the early hours keeping Mum awake. Etc etc

I’ve seen all these types of posts before. And you always get some daft person who looks down on the poster for “not being able to cope with normal family life. I love it when mine come back and all that chaos is going on. It’s what makes a house a home. I love looking after them all. Of course they can bring randoms back from the pub, this will always be their family home and they can invite friends back if they want.” Etc etc

Benjispruce5 · 27/12/2021 09:29

I think it’s very rude to walk and start helping themselves to food. Surely your DD might mention that they haven’t t eaten after all and ask if you mind them makings somethings and then you have that control you need and can say yes or that you’d rather make it.

mam0918 · 27/12/2021 09:31

Your problem is your children?

I'm a socially anxious hermitted introvert with developmental and acquired MH issues that hasn't had anyone outside of my nuclear family (bar gas inspection and required builders for emergencies) in my house in over a decade... but I couldn't imaging treating my CHILDREN like a burden on my house.

BeardyButton · 27/12/2021 09:32

I think this is quite a severe reaction to basically having your family around (daughters, their husbands). Is the “sleeping baby” your grandchild?

It is hard for me to connect to this. I loath mess. I also feel more mentally ok if things are tidy. But I love my family. Adore them being around me. And would put up with living on top of a tip if it was the only way to be a part of my family group at Christmas.

To be honest.... I think maybe talking to a counsellor might help?!? I say this as it seems an irrational fear of mess (I have this too) is stopping you enjoy smt you clearly want to be a part of. I would see this as a problem to work in w a mental health professional.

Beseen22 · 27/12/2021 09:35

You sound very like my mum who i am pretty convinced would have a diagnosis of autism if she were going through school today. She also was deaf for 10 years which has made matters worse as she became insular and spoke to herself most of the time.

Yes you can set boundaries with your daughter to remain in control of your home. That is your right if that is how you can work through your severe anxiety. However, some posters (myself included) have experienced this from the child's side and it will affect your relationship with your daughter and your granddaughter. Your daughter making a meal for herself and taking her daughter up to bed without taking shoes off are not unreasonable. Being made to feel unwelcome constantly could put her off..I know I certainly wouldn't just pop round to my mums the way I would my MILs. I guess DM was actively pursuing therapies or working with her GP I would be more supportive rather than denying there is any issue.

Fwiw I'm a few years on and a big thing that has helped is that DM looks after my boys for 1 morning a week in my home. It has helped her build a relationship with them but within what she can cope with. Also my FIL is a massive introvert and he has a garden office which he can retreat to when things become overwhelming. We never go out there, its his space. Would you be able to have that kind of set up?

Onandoff · 27/12/2021 09:38

Your daughter and her partner were very inconsiderate to walk dirt through your house, knock over your things and take over your kitchen. It’s not untypical for parents of small children to behave in such an entitled way, I always wonder if it’s sleep deprivation. I hope you’re ok op, I too hate having visitors if they’re messy or inconsiderate. It’s incredible how many people are like this.

Onandoff · 27/12/2021 09:40

@Beseen22

You sound very like my mum who i am pretty convinced would have a diagnosis of autism if she were going through school today. She also was deaf for 10 years which has made matters worse as she became insular and spoke to herself most of the time.

Yes you can set boundaries with your daughter to remain in control of your home. That is your right if that is how you can work through your severe anxiety. However, some posters (myself included) have experienced this from the child's side and it will affect your relationship with your daughter and your granddaughter. Your daughter making a meal for herself and taking her daughter up to bed without taking shoes off are not unreasonable. Being made to feel unwelcome constantly could put her off..I know I certainly wouldn't just pop round to my mums the way I would my MILs. I guess DM was actively pursuing therapies or working with her GP I would be more supportive rather than denying there is any issue.

Fwiw I'm a few years on and a big thing that has helped is that DM looks after my boys for 1 morning a week in my home. It has helped her build a relationship with them but within what she can cope with. Also my FIL is a massive introvert and he has a garden office which he can retreat to when things become overwhelming. We never go out there, its his space. Would you be able to have that kind of set up?

Not taking your shoes off and treading dirt up the stairs while knocking a picture off the wall, then helping yourself to the kitchen without asking is hugely unreasonable entitled behaviour.
RampantIvy · 27/12/2021 09:43

I love having people in our house. In fact I think I’m made for a commune. However my husband is completely different, very introverted, needs his space, gets stressed by mess and noise.

You sound like me and DH. He is extremely introverted so he generally gets his own way most of the time, then complains when I go out with friends because I crave company other than him from time to time. It can feel quite lonely being married to an extreme introvert and, ridiculously, I do get the FOMO feeling at Christmas and New Year because we never see anyone else over that period.

This doesn't answer the OP's dilemma, but I think there has been some useful advice on here.