Does everyone else do messy play

[Honeyandlemonnn]

My partner hates messy play but it’s the only way I can get my son distracted long enough without using tv. Today the activity was playing with sand and water . The sand was crushed biscuits. He had a big issue with it saying other nasty comments to me I don’t want to repeat . But basically saying that he’s never seen a mother do what I do. So my question is don’t other mums out there do such messy play and if not what do you do to distract your kids without using tv ?

Yes but we don't really care about a bit of mess. Tuff trays or an oilcloth tablecloth are good for easy clearing up.

We do! The messier the better!

I always did!

I don’t like the mess but I do it sometimes.

As for your OH - stuff him and his nasty comments. Why doesn’t he entertain the children if he’s so perfect?!

@Starcaller good idea. I just put him on the floor on his matts in the bathroom . And I clean up right after .

Yanbu. I love messy play and so did my kids. I'm a primary school teacher and also ran a toddler group when my youngest was a toddler so messy play was a big part of our lives!
I'm sure you can find some evidence online that it's good for their development.
Bigger problem is DH saying "nasty" things. No excuse for that even if he doesn't like
Something.

@LadyCluck I don’t like the mess either to be be honest but my son loves it so I go with it . It’s either that or cocomelon for hours . He can nearly entertain him for 15 minutes so I don’t know why he’s judging

@Stellaroses yes I have and gotten some ideas online. It’s good to know it’s normal . He makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong

My idea of hell messy play in the house! We Do it outside, we do water play and a lot of other play inside. I don't know anyone who does messy play in their house, only at groups (which again is my idea of hell) haha I sound a delight don't I?

Your OH is bonkers if he doesn't realise that parenting isn't always instagrammable or that the Instagram version of messy play is heavily staged.

I've had my child sat in a tufftray of cooked pasta in his nappy. He found it awesome. Go you for figuring out something your kid would like.

I don’t know anyone who lets their kid play with crushed food and water and make a mess in the house like that either I’m afraid.

We painted at the kitchen table, and did baking and crafts, and played muddy games outside, but I never did what you are describing.

Doesn’t change the fact your partner sounds a twat.

Come to think of it, both grandmothers have instigated some form of messy play for the very little ones. Usually around food/baking supplies.
One of them likes to take "naice" pictures, so I let her fuss with the staging as the kids are usually uncooperative at that age. But even she doesn't see it as odd.
Even if he doesn't get it, he shouldn't be mean.

[quote Honeyandlemonnn]@LadyCluck I don’t like the mess either to be be honest but my son loves it so I go with it . It’s either that or cocomelon for hours . He can nearly entertain him for 15 minutes so I don’t know why he’s judging[/quote]
I would take messy play over coco melon any day!

Keep doing what you’re doing - as well as enjoying it now, your little one will have lovely memories of doing this with you when they’re older. x

We never did that kind of messy play inside, and I'd hate wasting food like that

I've only ever seen this kind of thing from Instamum types

I don't blame your DH for not wanting to do it but what did he say that was so mean?

There must be something other than TV and messy play as options

Also how old is your child?

I don't - I hate messy play and as far as I'm concerned I pay through the nose for nursery so they can do it instead.

DD is 2 and we'll make some snowmen with cotton wool and PVA glue if we can be bothered, but she's happy doing puzzles and playing with her cars at home, thank God!

Children need some level of messy play, it's very early science, learning about the properties of materials. They also need to be allowed to go outside and get dirty. However, different families do this to different degrees, and when children go to toddler groups, nursery, pre-school etc. the messy play can be limited to that location (although it's a shame if they don't ever do it with their parents/carers at home).

Your partner sounds like a problem. Lazy and talking rubbish.

Yes, I just uses to put down a large shower curtain to contain any mess and made sure whatever it was could be swilled down the shower outlet.

Oh, I’m a Dad, maybe his little brain can cope with messy play a bit more if he knows a man is doing it, because he clearly thinks he knows better than Mums. Him not liking messy play is fine, as long as he is instead finding things to entertain and engage his little one.

I call that sensory play rather than messy play and yes we do that too (hence the user name) We used taste safe things like crushed cheerios when my little one was still putting everything in her mouth and then transitioned to other sensory bases like rice, flour (baked), water beads type things plus developmentally appropriate tools and activities. Pouring, scooping, posting, colour/animal/shape matching etc

This morning she has fake snow, peg matching, block posting and scooping tools out. It’s a mess but she loves it and it’s great for her.

My DH hates the mess but would never talk to me the way you’ve been spoken too, he trusts that I’m an adult who knows how to help our child tidy up once we are done! That’s part of the process.

I have never done messy play and never will. They do that at playgroup, or naturally make a mess with whatever they are doing, but the idea of crushing up biscuits and water and making that a game doesn't really appeal.
They play with toys, play in the garden, go on outings and to activities, I feel no need to scatter foodstuff about the place at all.

Tell your husband I've just brought my kids out of a bathtub full of slime. And earlier today we played with sand art, play doh and glitter. All Xmas gifts that they received and were desperate to play with. My house is wrecked but we all had fun and it's Xmas so who cares? Better than being plugged into screens all day, and if it's you that cleans it up, there's no reason for him to get his panties in a bunch 🤷

Tell him to read this and get over himself. It's massively beneficial. Then go and order a huge mud kitchen for the garden 😁

www.earlyyearsresources.co.uk/blog/2018/06/messy-play-physical-benefits/

@Metallicalover I would ideally prefer to do it outside but it’s cold right now

@dreamingbohemian if you can come up with other options to entertain an 18 month for long periods without using tv or messy play then let me know

Oh my, yes, we did messy play. Mostly in the kitchen where it was easy to clean up. It's great fun for the children and, when young, edible play is preferable and safer.

Ignore your partner.