Does everyone else do messy play

[Honeyandlemonnn]

My partner hates messy play but it’s the only way I can get my son distracted long enough without using tv. Today the activity was playing with sand and water . The sand was crushed biscuits. He had a big issue with it saying other nasty comments to me I don’t want to repeat . But basically saying that he’s never seen a mother do what I do. So my question is don’t other mums out there do such messy play and if not what do you do to distract your kids without using tv ?

We do messy play inside because we don’t have an outside space, @Envoitrevisage. Usually at the kitchen table with a mat down, stuff like kinetic sand, cleaning the ‘muddy’ animals (cornstarch & water), shaving foam ‘snow’. Things like pasta/lentils are cheap and non-toxic and entertaining, so why not?

Yup, messy play is a daily occurrence here!

@Faretheewellmyfairyfay yes if he was going nursery it wouldn’t be too bad but he’s at home with me . We go to the odd playgroups but stopped due to rising covid cases . Sometimes we go to the park or play outside but not for long as it’s gotten colder so we’re home a lot more right now

I do it every day as my son loves it. I have a crafty pod we both sit in.

Coloured rice, chickpeas, kinetic sand, fake snow, goo, little stones - tones!

@Envoitrevisage there was no mess in the house . He was in the bathroom floor on his matts . And as soon as he comes out I clean him

Got to admit I leave it to nursery but hats off to the Pinterest mums who manage all of that stuff!! Keeping him entertained for me usually involves leaving the house...national trust, playgroup etc.

@LadyCluck yes me too. I’m trying to reduce his screen time and this is working

Your partner is a nasty cunt. i bet he does fuck all for your child, cheeky fucker. Ltb

Gotta say I didn't do it when kids were little, but that's because our flat at the time was already a tip, most rooms were carpeted and I couldn't cope with clearing up the mess!

I did manage without them watching lots of telly, but TBH can't remember quite how, I think they both quite liked toys/imaginary play luckily.

My favourites are shaving foam (great for making snowmen!) And gloop (corn flour mixed with water.)

Messy play is totally normal, developmentally very good in fact. What is not normal is your DH making nasty comments about you trying activities with your toddler - is he trying to undermine your confidence? What does he actually say?

It was my idea of hell but yes we did it. Ds loved messy play when he was a baby. I have some lovely pictures from when we got the paint out!

Always!

[quote Honeyandlemonnn]@dreamingbohemian if you can come up with other options to entertain an 18 month for long periods without using tv or messy play then let me know[/quote]
Well we did neither when my DC was that age and somehow managed!

Lots of building stuff with blocks and toddler Lego etc, knocking it all down and going again
Toys with lots of lights and sounds
Having them 'help' me clean and cook
Sensory stuff but not messy

I found having music or the radio on helped encourage them to play on their own for longer

I mean do what you want to do but nothing wrong with not doing messy play either. You just try lots of things and see what works. Your own child might get bored with messy play in 6 months so you may have to come up with something else anyway.

Your husband shouldn't be rude though

Yep. Great sensory fun. No pictures, though. Wasn't performative.
I think it's a shame some toys have emerged that mimic paint play using light instead, to save on 'mess' . Playing with a foodstuff is no weirder than making homemade play-dough, either.

Is your partner in the habit of making nasty comments to you?

I love having my two nieces come to visit and doing messy play with them. Their mum fully approves, just struggles a bit doing it in her house (like a lot of PP!), and I fully understand.

They’re older now and more into playdough, slime and crafting things but they love coming here to do it once a week. We made edible slime the other week (it was “technically” edible, but didn’t taste great!).

I remember as a young child going to my nans and her putting a bag of flour down for us on a tray with construction toys (diggers, tractors, and a police car!) and having a great time.

@FanciedChange Just comments about my parenting choices all the time refers to them as dirty and keeps saying im turning the house into a pigs state . But in reality i am the only one that cleans . But this has been happening since my son was little and i would allow him to feed himself . He would complain about food being all over his hands and mouth and some on the floor as if i was doing something wrong. He even complains about the mess ( clothes and toys ) in the bathroom after giving my son a bath. After giving my son a bath i usually go to the room dress him give him his milk then sort out the bathroom but if he enters before ive had a chance to do this he goes crazy. Even recently i started an activity where we would collect leaves from trees into his bucket , my son loves this activity, Also i brought the leaves home and washed them and my son used them for painting and my partner had an issue with it complaining how the leaves have been outside and are dirty blah blah how am i letting our son do that . Its exhausting . Alot of the times i am just trying to get through the day

@dreamingbohemian Thank you. I will try those options too

[quote Honeyandlemonnn]@FanciedChange Just comments about my parenting choices all the time refers to them as dirty and keeps saying im turning the house into a pigs state . But in reality i am the only one that cleans . But this has been happening since my son was little and i would allow him to feed himself . He would complain about food being all over his hands and mouth and some on the floor as if i was doing something wrong. He even complains about the mess ( clothes and toys ) in the bathroom after giving my son a bath. After giving my son a bath i usually go to the room dress him give him his milk then sort out the bathroom but if he enters before ive had a chance to do this he goes crazy. Even recently i started an activity where we would collect leaves from trees into his bucket , my son loves this activity, Also i brought the leaves home and washed them and my son used them for painting and my partner had an issue with it complaining how the leaves have been outside and are dirty blah blah how am i letting our son do that . Its exhausting . Alot of the times i am just trying to get through the day[/quote]
There is nothing wrong (at all, quite the opposite) with your parenting choices and everything wrong with his.

I never did it apart from playing with bath bubbles and 'helping' me bake sometimes.

The idea of allowing children to waste food like that when there are other children depending on food banks for their meals seems all wrong to me, and sorry if that sounds sanctimonious.

My kids watched a good deal of tv. They also did a lot of cutting, glueing, drawing, chalking, playing with blocks, playing with clay - all sorts of clay, not just Play-Doh. Mess was confined to the kitchen table.

I have a friend whose small children are allowed to be pretty much free range in their house, eating anywhere, playing with food at mealtimes and doing experiments' with the contents of the cupboards and spice rack, using unwashable acrylic paints and all sorts of other materials at the dining room table.

Her house is a tip but she's not concerned because all it takes is money to restore it to a decent condition when the kids grow up a bit. I have come to suspect that allowing your children to destroy your home is a MC signifier.

I have observed her children in their relationship to screens too, and because she limits screen time (another very big MC signifier) they crave their evening access, and in fact get very antsy coming up to the magic hour.

The children are not inclined to respect either their own or other people's property, or respect the concept of personal ownership. Toys are broken from rough play, pushing, pulling, twisting - all in the name of exploration. Never mind, everything can be replaced. Lipstick and other items that are not theirs (bottles of moisturiser, etc) are used for creating art or various concoctions. Again, all it takes is money to fix.

But the kids have had a hard time in school learning classroom etiquette - tidiness, correct use of art materials, treating books gently, and unfortunately labels they get in the early years will follow them for a while through school.

There really are other things you can do with your child than allowing play with food. Buy clay, chalk, washable paint, a sandbox for the garden. Reserve a patch of the garden for digging, playing with pebbles, etc.

It's important for children to learn the proper use of different materials as well as developing the sensory side.

HAHAH he would hate my autistic 9yo.

I can't stand messy play or the mess - I have 2 kids neither have missed out significantly from me not doing this either but each to their own

Expecting my first currently and messy/sensory play is one of the things I'm really looking forward to doing with her. I have done loads at work over the years in the residential special needs setting I worked in and love it. I'm not crafty at all but something to explore that doesn't have to look like anything at the end is fab.
And I believe it's so good for their development. We live in a 2 bedroom flat with only a balcony no garden so space is limited but I will just accept the tidying up if I choose really messy options but to be honest crushed cereal doesn't sound that messy to me- get the hoover out after and it's done.

We don't at home, thats one of the reasons i send my dd to nursery. I hate the mess. My dd whrn she was 18 months would play with her toys or do some colouring, but we also watch a lot of tv