To think it's unacceptable so many women cry in the workplace?

[ttcpatronisers]

I work in an office of approx 40 people. Half of them roughly are women.

Of the Half, the majority have cried in the workplace - many on multiple occasions and often when they are in the wrong about a situation.

I find this unprofessional and odd. Of the men, one has cried.

Why do women cry so often at work? Is it because there's some truth in us being unable to control our emotions? Is it because we fell it's accepted in society for women to cry? Or is it because we attention? Know we can get what we want when we cry as it softens a situation?

Honestly, I find it very odd and annoying. I feel it undermines us in the workplace.

I also find it incredibly unprofessional. Now obviously if something really bad has happened it's a different story but often these tears are because of minor events.

AIBU - crying at work isn't unprofessional
YANBU - people should hold their emotions together and perhaps go to the toilet and cry

I don’t see how people can be expected to be taken seriously and be equal to men if they keep crying

Being equal does not mean being exactly the same. Do we have to act with masculinity, a label created by society, to be taken seriously?

Just to add, I work with teenagers and the boys cry a lot more than the girls in school.
Girls often go very quiet.
Boys tend get angry and shout a lot too. They get embarrassed but I have helped dry lots of tears believe me.
Big generalisation but true on the whole.

[quote ttcpatronisers]@GabriellaMontez no 'male' emotions are often unacceptable too but my post was about crying, not men [/quote]
What are the professional and unprofessional emotions? Is there a list online somewhere? A training course I missed?

@ttcpatronisers

Oh ffs people I've just explained - theu are crying because they've made a mistake in their job for example - or they are causing a problem or - they're having marital problems.

It is NOT a company thing - can we just accept that?

Are you making them cry?

I have cried when a patient has died. Not in front of the public but in staff only spaces. I'm glad my colleagues have been understanding. As I am to them in a similar situation.

[quote ttcpatronisers]@GabriellaMontez no 'male' emotions are often unacceptable too but my post was about crying, not men [/quote]
Unacceptable to you.

Cry, laugh, whatever… just get the job done. Although I would be very concerned if half my team (I manage 27) burst into tears regardless of reason.

@Icenii people are all different and that is a positive. I can’t see a single positive that comes out of simply being weaker and then publicly displaying that weakness though.

YABVU - Why do you think it is abnormal to cry when you are overwhelmed or shocked in a professional situation/job? To express emotion? To be human

And why are so many people in this workplace crying?

[quote Copasetic]@Icenii people are all different and that is a positive. I can’t see a single positive that comes out of simply being weaker and then publicly displaying that weakness though.[/quote]
Why is crying a weakness?

I have cried at work a few times when I was going through enormous personal upheaval (bereavement) and then things went wrong at work to tip me over the edge.

I hated it and yes felt unprofessional but it was entirely outwith my control. I think if you're not someone who cries you think people who do can turn tears on and off like a tap. Trust me I can't control it. My brother also is sensitive so I don't NECESSARILY think men can't be like this too but I think men are raised to push down their feelings from a young age and express them in anger rather than through tears

Why do we have to act 'like men' to be treated equally? We are equal NOT the same. And we are both human so should be treated as such. You have no idea what those women are dealing with behind closed doors and what kind of arseholery they may be encountering 'professionally'.

Bore off with this stiff upper lip crap

If you think about it, men created and dominated the workforce and somehow emotions generally associated with femininity are not considered acceptable. Why is that?

I am not a cryer, I rarely see people cry in my male dominated profession, but I've seen aggression, anger, back stabbing. I know what emotion I'd rather be faced with.

[quote Copasetic]@Icenii people are all different and that is a positive. I can’t see a single positive that comes out of simply being weaker and then publicly displaying that weakness though.[/quote]
Does crying mean a person is weak?

You are right Op. Those women who cry should be sacked immediately and replaced with more people just like you!

[quote Copasetic]@Icenii people are all different and that is a positive. I can’t see a single positive that comes out of simply being weaker and then publicly displaying that weakness though.[/quote]
@Copasetic

Are you serious? Does crying mean that you are a "weaker" person?
Is it some terrible crime to display any weakness?

You sound as though you have about as much empathy as the OP, which is not saying a great deal!

However, I don’t work in a caring environment and therefore my people are crying about deadlines not being met and not real life issues. I am not extending this to people dealing with real life and death situations as they are hugely pressured/stressful and I’m sure they are not bursting into tears in front of the public but simply occasionally amongst their team who would absolutely get it. Equally, anyone going through divorces, family illnesses and deaths - we all have these problems and men equally may cry in the work place about a family death for example but this is occasional too. What I think is unprofessional is crying over work issues in the work place.

Well this is a proper Xmas pile on.

I agree with you OP. I am 50 and have encountered women in senior roles who cry in the workplace when it's not going their way. I hate it.

And to be clear it the cases I am referring to no, it's not a culture thing, no it's not a personal issue causing the upset. It's a behaviour where there is an expectation that turning on the waterworks will garner sympathy and take the pressure off when a difficult issue arises.

It is highly unprofessional and very manipulative.

[quote Copasetic]@Icenii people are all different and that is a positive. I can’t see a single positive that comes out of simply being weaker and then publicly displaying that weakness though.[/quote]
Who decided crying was a weak emotion? Men?

At least someone crying is more rational perhaps as pp said, it’s an instant relief. Rather that than the person discharging their feelings by blaming other people to make themselves feel better. People who cry I find tend to blame themselves for something that’s not working. People who rant are finding someone else to dump their feelings on. Rather a crier be.

In all honesty, I’m not known for my empathy!

@Icenii

If you think about it, men created and dominated the workforce and somehow emotions generally associated with femininity are not considered acceptable. Why is that?

I am not a cryer, I rarely see people cry in my male dominated profession, but I've seen aggression, anger, back stabbing. I know what emotion I'd rather be faced with.

Many women back stab and go all out to destroy other women/men in the workplace. Both sexes can be bastards in the workplace IMO. It has nothing to with competency. If someone (usually a narc or sociopath) takes a disliking to you, they soon have their flying monkeys swooping. Been there. Still there.

This thread really illustrates how poor mental health is in the UK and the level of internalised misogyny.

I've worked in a female dominated office for many years and there's barely been any tears. Two times I can think of. Sounds like something is going wrong in your office.

@ChequerBoard I totally think it is manipulative!

YANBU. I did it once and felt like a right wanker.
TBF I was completely steamrolled and oregnant- had no idea at the time, but also dogs and wedding pictures were enough to turn me into a blubbering mess.... I'm now just angry, which feels much better haha