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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking a job in a tiny business when pregnant

455 replies

Fromageetvino · 23/12/2021 13:13

Ok so I know IABU but venting a little.
I took on my first FT employee in July this year (already have 1 x part timer). Three weeks in she disclosed that she is pregnant and is now off on Mat leave.

It’s an industry where recruiting is super difficult at the moment so getting a mat leave cover is likely to be practically impossible.

I know it’s her right etc, and of course have treated her fairly and she will be returning whenever she chooses to return.

But if I’m honest - it’s absolutely screwed our plans for any growth this year (on top of covid troubles).

While I know it’s “right” would you take on a job in a small business when pregnant?

Am prepared to get flamed here (hence the NC).

OP posts:
Tabbacus · 23/12/2021 21:09

I suppose the key is the lack of support for small businesses, I just don't think saying a pregnant woman screwed them over is very fair.

RoyalFamilyFan · 23/12/2021 21:10

@Fromageetvino No it is not. It is aimed at those on this thread who said they would break the law. You have been very reasonable.

Original poster
Fromageetvino · 23/12/2021 21:12

Sorry - am probably getting a bit defensive (and have unwisely returned to this thread after opening the Christmas wine)

OP posts:
rainyskylight · 23/12/2021 21:18

OP you’re never going to win here against the people having a go. Everyone on Mumsnet complains to HR at the drop of a hat and generally hates all upper management and especially employers. Don’t you know that you shouldn’t be allowed to run a business unless you can go straight from sole trader to running a large cushy office building with a whole floor dedicated to all those important HR people??

Original poster
Fromageetvino · 23/12/2021 21:21

@rainyskylight

OP you’re never going to win here against the people having a go. Everyone on Mumsnet complains to HR at the drop of a hat and generally hates all upper management and especially employers. Don’t you know that you shouldn’t be allowed to run a business unless you can go straight from sole trader to running a large cushy office building with a whole floor dedicated to all those important HR people??
I think I love you Grin

Ah I’ve been on this site for ten years and posted in AIBU - I should have known it might upset me. Am lucky not to have been handed a biscuit yet.

Not least because I know I am, but just wanted to rant a little.

OP posts:
Freecuthbert · 23/12/2021 21:21

@BellatricksStrange

Honestly the amount of people who talk about 'businesses' as if these are just magical things that appear, and don't have human employers behind them, is just baffling. It's like scrimp and scrape, put in the countless hours and stress to open a business, but dare to complain when an employee screws you over, and you're the devil incarnate.
An employee has not screwed the OP over. You are really trying to frame this employee as vindictive, even calling her a cheeky fucker in a previous comment. I think it's fine for OP to feel frustrated with the situation (but I don't think it's fair to resent the employee for it), what I don't appreciate is the number of people going on about firing the poor woman and feeding into this bizarre narrative with the nasty comments about her/pregnant employees. Some women get pregnant, get over it.
KeranaCosmonauts · 23/12/2021 21:24

This thread is utterly depressing. And quite astonishing really, in this day and age.
So, at what stage after taking a job is a woman allowed to get pregnant? 6 months, a year, 2 years? There will probably never be a convenient time from the employer's point of view.
How will things be any different if she announced she was pregnant a year after being hired, for example? You'd still have to find a temporary replacement or do without her for a bit.
If you're going to hire employees then you have to accept they might get pregnant, or sick, or need to take time off for some other reason. If you can't deal with that then you should probably use freelancers or do the work yourself. If you struggle to recruit then you need to offer higher pay. If none of these things are an option then you need to accept you don't have a viable business, or that you can only have a very small business and can't expand any more.
As for the question, would I take a job in a small business while pregnant...judging by this thread, I wouldn't take a job with a small business at all.

Blossom987 · 23/12/2021 21:29

You could say my ex-employer ‘screwed me over’ when they made me redundant just a few weeks before my due date as part of a restructure. I’d been working over and above up to that point including staying late when heavily pregnant to ensure handover for my mat leave went smoothly. My mat cover who had already started a month or so before was given notice too. Badly handled yes. Within their rights to protect their business no matter the impact on the staff losing jobs, also yes.

Never again will I give such loyalty to an employer. It’s business at the end of the day, on both sides. I fully support pregnant women applying for jobs and not disclosing at interview. Women’s careers/jobs matter as much as small business owners.

OP i don’t disagree that it would feel frustrating that your plans are disrupted and want to vent a bit but your thread title and posts are suggesting your employee shouldn’t have accepted the job. I wonder if you would have even made a thread to vent if it was because of some other reason like long term sickness. I imagine if she had told you then you would have discriminated against her and chosen someone else, which you say you wish you had. That’s what many people object to.

Original poster
Fromageetvino · 23/12/2021 21:30

@KeranaCosmonauts I can’t answer the same questions for the millionth time.
No - please don’t join a small business. Funnily enough - if I were ever to go back to work - I wouldn’t either (for many reasons). If you love the corporate or public sector life - keep on with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fromageetvino · 23/12/2021 21:37

@Blossom987

You could say my ex-employer ‘screwed me over’ when they made me redundant just a few weeks before my due date as part of a restructure. I’d been working over and above up to that point including staying late when heavily pregnant to ensure handover for my mat leave went smoothly. My mat cover who had already started a month or so before was given notice too. Badly handled yes. Within their rights to protect their business no matter the impact on the staff losing jobs, also yes.

Never again will I give such loyalty to an employer. It’s business at the end of the day, on both sides. I fully support pregnant women applying for jobs and not disclosing at interview. Women’s careers/jobs matter as much as small business owners.

OP i don’t disagree that it would feel frustrating that your plans are disrupted and want to vent a bit but your thread title and posts are suggesting your employee shouldn’t have accepted the job. I wonder if you would have even made a thread to vent if it was because of some other reason like long term sickness. I imagine if she had told you then you would have discriminated against her and chosen someone else, which you say you wish you had. That’s what many people object to.

So sorry that happened. And see i would never screw over an employee like that - trusted, working hard etc.

Honestly maybe I do come across like that - and honestly I’d probably have pilloried myself for what I’m saying 10 years ago, but she chose to come to a tiny business - knowing she’d be there only a few months and the impact it would have. She could have stayed at her role; gone to a larger organisation etc.
Instead she picked us, at six months pregnant. And didn’t disclose it either (I like to think it wouldn’t have affected my descision but I wouldn’t swear my life on it either). Yes she owed me absolutely nothing of course.

OP posts:
Blossom987 · 23/12/2021 21:40

Judging by some of the comments on this thread which suggest small business owners should discriminate against women (and not just pregnant ones - any of child bearing age) it actually makes me question how much I want to support small businesses at all (as a customer) if this is how many of them view and treat women. This isn’t the first time a small business owner has started a thread to complain about pregnant employees.

RoyalFamilyFan · 23/12/2021 21:42

I have worked for tiny businesses for years. They are either way better than corporate businesses and treat you brilliantly. Or they are absolute shit. Where I work now is brilliant.

yourestandingonmyneck · 23/12/2021 21:42

@Fromageetvino

Wow am surprised by the votes
I can't see the votes, what are they?

But I'm with you. She's within her rights and she made a decision to do that. It's just not a decision I'd have made and I'd be annoyed if I were in your position.

Original poster
Fromageetvino · 23/12/2021 21:50

@RoyalFamilyFan

I have worked for tiny businesses for years. They are either way better than corporate businesses and treat you brilliantly. Or they are absolute shit. Where I work now is brilliant.
I’d like to hope that - despite my secret Mn rant I’m better - particularly in my industry. Bit for everyone of course - but none of my team (freelance or staff) get called out of hours, totally flexible and no blame culture (which is sadly rife). Yes I might have a whinge on Mn, but no one will know and it won’t ever reflect on how I treat people,
OP posts:
phishy · 23/12/2021 21:50

Is it too late to let her go in her probationary period?

Original poster
Fromageetvino · 23/12/2021 21:50

@yourestandingonmyneck 70% YANBU - I thought I’d be in for an absolute roasting

OP posts:
Original poster
Fromageetvino · 23/12/2021 21:51

@phishy

Is it too late to let her go in her probationary period?
I wouldn’t do that.
OP posts:
WouldIBeATwat · 23/12/2021 21:51

@phishy

Is it too late to let her go in her probationary period?
She’s on May leave now. That would look great in tribunal. Hmm
WouldIBeATwat · 23/12/2021 21:51

*mat

Blossom987 · 23/12/2021 21:53

If your business was losing money and you had to let staff go to save it, and it was just bad timing that a staff member was heavily pregnant, you’d still really not have much choice and have to let them go wouldn’t you? It’s not personal it’s business.

Maybe your employee is looking at the bigger picture. I’m sure it’s not ideal for her either, to start a new job then go on mat leave a few months later. But if she is thinking in her mind she really wants the job, is capable of doing it and is prepared to stay a good 5-10 years (particularly if you are offering flexible working that fits around school runs etc which makes me think she plans to stay) then maternity leave would be a drop in the ocean in the long term, even if it feels difficult right now. And if she didn’t feel she could disclose to you she was pregnant because there was a risk you wouldn’t offer her the job, then she was right to think that wasn’t she.

phishy · 23/12/2021 21:53

It’s a question on the legality of it.

Tabbacus · 23/12/2021 21:55

@phishy

It’s a question on the legality of it.
The legality of what?
WouldIBeATwat · 23/12/2021 21:57

You can legally sack someone, probation or not, within the first 24 months of employment for any non-discriminatory reason.

Unless the OP had discussed performance issues with the staff member she’d be on a hiding to nothing at tribunal.

phishy · 23/12/2021 21:57

Thanks @WouldIBeATwat

yourestandingonmyneck · 23/12/2021 21:58

[quote Fromageetvino]@yourestandingonmyneck 70% YANBU - I thought I’d be in for an absolute roasting[/quote]
@Fromageetvino that's good to hear.

I hope you manage to get around it, one way or the other.

Best of luck XxX

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