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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

His dog hogging the bed

151 replies

Strawbz8988 · 22/12/2021 14:13

I stay at my boyfriends a few nights a week. I absolutely love his staffy. He's a rescue. Well behaved. I often walk him and genuinely love the dog. But he shares the bed with my boyfriend. When I'm there as you can imagine it's a little crowded. He's a solid heavy dog and when he's laid on the bottom you can't move your feet or the duvet. If he's in between us we can't roll over. I rarely can fully lie properly with my boyfriend when we are asleep. I sometimes am hugging him and then my legs and stomach is behind the dog. He also gives you a heart attack leaping back up again if he's got down for whatever reason.

My boyfriend finds it abit irritating himself and has made comments about him taking over.

I feel like I could sleep so much better if I could move where I wanted to be. I wake up with dead legs and achy arms.

Last night we were cuddled up and the dog was laying somewhere else. I heard his feet coming towards the bed and felt myself thinking oh here we go. He was in between both of our legs all night and then ended up on the bottom.of the duvet. My boyfriend was saying how rubbish he slept again.

Just wondered if this is common? I sometimes feel abit grossed out too if he's been out In damp weather and been for a poo and then his wet dog smell is allover the bed.

Hoping my boyfriend will encourage him.to sleep in the bed next to the bed. But I respect that I'm the newbie.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 23/12/2021 15:46

Yeah, I have 2 in my bed

That's why we have a superking bed Grin

I love them cuddled up to me

Chesneyhawkes1 · 23/12/2021 16:49

It's vile, unclean and disgusting - you couldn't pay me to .... oh .....

His dog hogging the bed
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 23/12/2021 16:58

@Chesneyhawkes1

It's vile, unclean and disgusting - you couldn't pay me to .... oh .....
You missed out the MN classic... Yuck 🤣

What a beautiful dog! I'd kick my dp out of bed first!!

Chesneyhawkes1 · 23/12/2021 17:07

@AllThingsServeTheBeam to be fair he snores less than DH 😂

HangingOutWithTheSandman · 23/12/2021 18:16

Chesneyhawkes1

😍😍😍 He’s gorgeous and looks very cosy.

PlanktonsComputerWife · 23/12/2021 18:17

Beautiful eyes!

Mylittlepotofjoy · 23/12/2021 18:20

Maybe try crate training him …. The dog not your partner Grin then you can all be in the same room but with the bed for the humans

LankylegsFromOz · 23/12/2021 19:28

OP, I reckon your boyfriend sounds lovely and is a keeper!

He's rescued a staffy, raised him to be happy and have good manners.... and every night he gets to snuggle up with him under the doona and go to sleep! That's awesome when you consider the life he might have had, had your boyfriend not come onto the scene ❤

As for your dilemma, the only way this can be solved is by buying a bigger bed. That's what we did with our son and his Lab once they got too big for their double-bed 😉

Chesneyhawkes1 · 23/12/2021 19:33

Aw thank you everyone. He's my baby.

He's a rescue and had a horrible start to his life. However I've spent the last 10 years spoiling him to make up for it 🤦‍♀️

I will say last year when I was poorly and was having cancer treatment - he lay in bed next to me every single minute I was in it (which was a lot). He literally went downstairs for his dinner and to toilet in the garden.

Didn't want his walks, just stayed with me. I know people think it's yucky having dogs in bed, but having him next to me was such a comfort ❤️

PlanktonsComputerWife · 23/12/2021 19:39

Dogs can smell cancer, can't they? He was staying there to protect you. What an angel

Chesneyhawkes1 · 23/12/2021 19:47

@PlanktonsComputerWife they say some can. I reckon unless it smells like sausages he can't 😂 But he did know I needed him

thestaffy · 24/12/2021 11:20

Dear Staffynet,
The boss has started to allow another human to stay at his place a couple of nights a week. This means there are FOUR cold feet in my part of the bed, and less room for me. Any suggestions of how I can encourage her to sleep on the floor so I can get a good night's rest?

Bluesarestillblue · 24/12/2021 21:38

@thestaffy. I had the exact same aibu which I raised earlier on this thread. We must get together and have a sniff of each other’s bums soon

NeverDropYourMooncup · 24/12/2021 21:59

Dear Staffynet,

Cat here. You're doing it all wrong.

What you need to do is wait until five minutes before they enter the bedroom, run upstairs silently (I know you Staffy types aren't particularly good at that, but you're still better than humans who think that we can't smell they're awake and keep their eyes shut when both us and them know it's blatantly first breakfasttime), then arrange yourself between the pillows so that, as they come in, you are a perfect circle of warm and quiet.

Once they say 'aww, but you're in our place' you languorously stretch out to expose your belly and appeal to their gullibility parental instincts by seemingly making yourself vulnerable. Make eye contact so that you always appear to be looking up at them and make as delicate sounds as you uncouth beasts canines can make whilst curling back up again as they sit down. Resist the temptation to leap up and slobber your manky dog slobber kiss them or thrash them with that bloody whip thing where a self respecting creature has a tail wag anything waggable.

Then once they're in, stay radiating warmth instead of stealing it from them in a ball for at least ten minutes before gradually applying pressure to their bodies by gradually flattening the ball to a disc shape (it increases the diameter). But gradually - if they begin to suspect, you'll be back down the foot end, which isn't as warm, so if one begins to stir, snuggle in and make sure your claws and tail are tucked in as much as possible.

And I know you are canines, but seriously, just for once - DO NOT FART. Wait until the Man is dozing off, as he'll start his little fanfare then and can be given all the credit.

Djayed · 25/12/2021 01:46

Being a man who allows their dog into the bed, I will say what I've said to other people, including people I've dated. This is her house, and her bed. If you don't like it you can leave.

My dog in the bed over anyone else.

Signed someone in a happy relationship and I share my bed with my dog. Deal with it or move on.

Lou98 · 25/12/2021 02:09

@Djayed

Being a man who allows their dog into the bed, I will say what I've said to other people, including people I've dated. This is her house, and her bed. If you don't like it you can leave.

My dog in the bed over anyone else.

Signed someone in a happy relationship and I share my bed with my dog. Deal with it or move on.

Love this! 😁

Our dog sleeps in the bed with me when my partners away for work, he has his own bed in our room which he will sleep in when DP is home but as soon as DP lets out a snore he's straight up on to the bed and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Having dogs sleeping in the bed definitely isn't for everyone and that's okay but you say the dogs 10, if he's had him since he was a puppy then that's 10 years he's been sleeping in the bed with him - you can't now come in and expect him to change that. You knew when you decided to be in a relationship with him that he lets the dog sleep in the bed, if you're not happy with that then you don't need to stay

Lou98 · 25/12/2021 02:11

Sorry just seen you said he's a rescue so not bad since a pup but still, presumably he had the dog before you were together?

Djayed · 25/12/2021 22:19

Thank you!

I've been through so much with my dog the last 9 years. I found her on the streets sicks with no hair, my ex let her out, she ran off, was hit by a car and broke both legs which cost 10k to fix, She's seen me through a relationship that ended in suicide, sailed with me, all the way through a cat 5 hurricane that hit 205 mile winds and we were trapped in the bathroom together for 36 hours.

She is my my world. I would end relationships and start a wars over her. She is not mine, I am hers.

Rewis · 25/12/2021 22:25

If your bf finds it a bit annoying aswell, why isn't he doing anything about it? Like have him sleep next to the bed. Have a talk about this.

TheHateIsNotGood · 25/12/2021 22:34

You know it means the dog loves you too.....

yellowleaves123 · 25/12/2021 22:39

I disagree with pp that it is gross to have the dog on the bed. Ours sleeps on our bed occasionally but mostly just outside our door which we have a stair gate across. What about doing that?

yellowleaves123 · 25/12/2021 22:42

But op, if he had the dog before your relationship and pup has always slept on the bed, I don't think it's fair to change that. Unless he wants to as well.

OldHip · 25/12/2021 23:02

What does "fair" even mean, to dogs? What a weird concept.

Sapphire387 · 25/12/2021 23:35

Apologies for lowering the tone and I haven't read the whole thread but... please tell me he shuts the dog out when you have sex?

MrsMurdstone · 26/12/2021 00:25

@Strawbz8988

That's the thing isn't it. I'm in the dogs space. I love the dog but I really don't get much sleep and feel like I'm in the way haha
Can you get up and sleep in the spare room?