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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

His dog hogging the bed

151 replies

Strawbz8988 · 22/12/2021 14:13

I stay at my boyfriends a few nights a week. I absolutely love his staffy. He's a rescue. Well behaved. I often walk him and genuinely love the dog. But he shares the bed with my boyfriend. When I'm there as you can imagine it's a little crowded. He's a solid heavy dog and when he's laid on the bottom you can't move your feet or the duvet. If he's in between us we can't roll over. I rarely can fully lie properly with my boyfriend when we are asleep. I sometimes am hugging him and then my legs and stomach is behind the dog. He also gives you a heart attack leaping back up again if he's got down for whatever reason.

My boyfriend finds it abit irritating himself and has made comments about him taking over.

I feel like I could sleep so much better if I could move where I wanted to be. I wake up with dead legs and achy arms.

Last night we were cuddled up and the dog was laying somewhere else. I heard his feet coming towards the bed and felt myself thinking oh here we go. He was in between both of our legs all night and then ended up on the bottom.of the duvet. My boyfriend was saying how rubbish he slept again.

Just wondered if this is common? I sometimes feel abit grossed out too if he's been out In damp weather and been for a poo and then his wet dog smell is allover the bed.

Hoping my boyfriend will encourage him.to sleep in the bed next to the bed. But I respect that I'm the newbie.

OP posts:
LittleRoundRobin · 22/12/2021 14:42

I love animals, but this would be it for me @Strawbz8988 Your DP sounds like a nob.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/12/2021 14:43

@OGenkiDesuKa

That’s so gross to have it on the bed.
Good job it's not your bed
girlmom21 · 22/12/2021 14:47

@Shoxfordian

Tell him it’s you or the dog in bed
Sure fire way to get dumped by a man who loves his dog 3 days before Christmas.
hiredandsqueak · 22/12/2021 14:47

That would be a dealbreaker for me and I have a dog but she's not allowed in my room much less on my bed.

romdowa · 22/12/2021 14:51

Would be a deal breaker for me. I've pets but that do not sleep with me at night. They have their space and I have mine.

SquirrelRed · 22/12/2021 14:51

Sounds my like dog! He's a big boxer/labrador cross and takes over our bed. Me and dp both moan about him and he often ruins my sleep but he's 10 and soelmehow we have allowed it to happen so can't change it now. I suspect it's the same with your partner in that it's gone on too long to now just kick the dog out

tara66 · 22/12/2021 14:52

Dog needs his own luxury bed that he find irresistible - lots on the market like Cozee Home ones also some on Amazon - all fluffy and soft.

senorafridgidaire · 22/12/2021 14:54

DH won't allow the dog to sleep in our bed for the same reasons as you list, so a lot of the time I go and sleep with her in the spare bed. She doesn't snore as loudly as he does!

Strawbz8988 · 22/12/2021 14:55

Yeah he's 10 and not as healthy as he once was. It's just one of them things I guess.

OP posts:
Salayes · 22/12/2021 14:55

I’ve had two partners with dogs. One was a spoilt lump who disturbed sleep constantly with jumping / sleeping on the bed and ruled the roost - he wouldn’t even kick the dog out while we had sex and it would try and lick you while naked. Gross!!

The other has a dog who is the most lovely, well behaved dog, she’s allowed on the bed here and there - I even let her on mine at times and it’s lovely. The moment either he or I say get down she goes to her blanket/dog bed and sleeps there peacefully and happily. She gets a cuddle and contact but is also not spoilt and doesn’t disturb our sleep.

In my view the first was a case of indulging the dog and failing to put boundaries in place, which had a negative impact on our sleep. The second case, the dog is very loved, very happy, has a spoiling by joining us for a movie or something in the evening on the end - but knows her place and is comfortable with that and never ever disturbs us.

I think of the two the second is the better owner and the dog seems happier, sweeter and less demanding. Seems to me like it’s all about discipline and training, and it’s crazy your boyfriend is letting the dog disturb both your sleep this much. Would put me right off tbh as it shows a lack of boundaries and responsible ownership.

Butchyrestingface · 22/12/2021 15:02

I would not like it but I did once sleep on the sofa for a few nights so my sick budgie could have the double bed. He had a head cold and was snuffly.

I fear I would be your boyfriend in this scenario. Blush

BringUsSomeFrigginPudding · 22/12/2021 15:22

I love my dogs and allow them on the bed some evenings/mornings, but when we're sleeping, the dogs have to go elsewhere. It's simply impossible to sleep well with them on the bed, and they're not even large, heavy dogs. (20-ish pounds each.)

I would be less inclined to stay over at his place, if it meant I couldn't get a decent night's sleep.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 22/12/2021 15:29

I stay at my boyfriends a few nights a week. I absolutely love his staffy.

Is that a euphemism? Hmm

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 22/12/2021 15:39

Bigger bed for all of you, lovely comfortable, padded and warm (very important for all short-haired and most ageing dogs, particularly when the heating is off at night) dog bed with fleece blanket beside your boyfriend's side of the bed.

Or just tolerance. Which it sounds like you have in abundance.

KarmaStar · 22/12/2021 15:48

It will be a difficult habit to break,your bf would need to be determined and maintain the rules when you are not there.but the dog a comfortable bed and have it in the bedroom.Don't expect the poor dog to be shut out of the room I'm sure you wouldn't want that anyway.
If that's not working out,a bigger bed?😀

KirstenBlest · 22/12/2021 15:51

Get twin beds

NamechangedGamechanged12 · 22/12/2021 15:53

We go through this every night with our dog. We bought a kingside bed… problem solved.

Allmadeoflego · 22/12/2021 15:53

Our dog sleeps on the bed. I totally get where you’re coming from, but it’s a big thing to change - so if your bf is committed to it if maybe start with a bed on the floor.

Bluesarestillblue · 22/12/2021 15:55

Another thread will read: aibu to expect him to tell the OW to sleep elsewhere

My DO has recently met a lovely lady. She seems nice enough and makes him happy. But for some reason she thinks it’s ok to have sleepovers in our house. Even worse is that she has taken over the bed.

I can’t sleep properly with her getting in the way; making dramatic sighing noises and generally smelling of womanness.

Wibu to insist that she sleeps on the sofa?

icelolly12 · 22/12/2021 15:57

Ergh personally I find sleeping with a dog in the same bed disgusting, it's bum near your face... just no. Is the dog there watching you doing the deed as well.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/12/2021 16:03

@icelolly12

Ergh personally I find sleeping with a dog in the same bed disgusting, it's bum near your face... just no. Is the dog there watching you doing the deed as well.
They have 2 ends dogs do you know.
KirstenBlest · 22/12/2021 16:07

Men have bums too

VladmirsPoutine · 22/12/2021 16:08

I can't believe how much suffering some women will put up with just to be married / have a boyfriend / a man in their lives! Ye gads!!!

Youdoyoutoday · 22/12/2021 16:09

I'm not a pet person, I don't mind dogs when they jump up at the park, will give them a pat on head or a ruffle behind the ear but I absolutely draw the line at sharing a bed with one!!

Allmadeoflego · 22/12/2021 16:10

@Bluesarestillblue

Another thread will read: aibu to expect him to tell the OW to sleep elsewhere

My DO has recently met a lovely lady. She seems nice enough and makes him happy. But for some reason she thinks it’s ok to have sleepovers in our house. Even worse is that she has taken over the bed.

I can’t sleep properly with her getting in the way; making dramatic sighing noises and generally smelling of womanness.

Wibu to insist that she sleeps on the sofa?

Grin
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