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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

His dog hogging the bed

151 replies

Strawbz8988 · 22/12/2021 14:13

I stay at my boyfriends a few nights a week. I absolutely love his staffy. He's a rescue. Well behaved. I often walk him and genuinely love the dog. But he shares the bed with my boyfriend. When I'm there as you can imagine it's a little crowded. He's a solid heavy dog and when he's laid on the bottom you can't move your feet or the duvet. If he's in between us we can't roll over. I rarely can fully lie properly with my boyfriend when we are asleep. I sometimes am hugging him and then my legs and stomach is behind the dog. He also gives you a heart attack leaping back up again if he's got down for whatever reason.

My boyfriend finds it abit irritating himself and has made comments about him taking over.

I feel like I could sleep so much better if I could move where I wanted to be. I wake up with dead legs and achy arms.

Last night we were cuddled up and the dog was laying somewhere else. I heard his feet coming towards the bed and felt myself thinking oh here we go. He was in between both of our legs all night and then ended up on the bottom.of the duvet. My boyfriend was saying how rubbish he slept again.

Just wondered if this is common? I sometimes feel abit grossed out too if he's been out In damp weather and been for a poo and then his wet dog smell is allover the bed.

Hoping my boyfriend will encourage him.to sleep in the bed next to the bed. But I respect that I'm the newbie.

OP posts:
redbigbananafeet · 22/12/2021 17:49

@Strawbz8988

Ahhh haha. I think I'll just have to get used to it. It's just the weight in him. He's so heavy and no chance of lifting him.
Where does the dog sleep in your house?
WiddlinDiddlin · 22/12/2021 17:50

Bigger bed.

We have four who will all at some point want on the bed most nights.

Currently the small elderly one has determined he MUST sleep in front of me, in my arms, head on my wrist, facing me, nose between my boobs.

It's cute, but he does snore.

We have several duvets and a superkingsize bed to accomodate the furry freeloaders, this means you are far less likely to end up in a 'dog is weighing down the duvet I can't move' situation, or indeed a 'dog has sat on the duvet which has yanked it all off me so now im freezing' situation.

Staffies hate being cold, love being warm and have no concept of personal space, this is a function that simply isn't installed during manufacture in the Staffy model.

You can encourage some personal space by making the dog end of the bed VERY comfy, extra blankets, nesty type arrangement, some sort of snoozy cave type bed...

You could also make 'not our bed' options more appealing, raised dog beds off floor level, extra blankets, put pyjamas on dog - these may help him stay elsewhere at night and reduce the frequency of the Burrowing Staffy phenomenon, as they realise their body temp is dropping below 1million degrees C, and start to worm their way under the covers to get between the warm humans...

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 22/12/2021 17:53

The fact that the dog was there first is kind of irrelevant.

The two humans, including the dog’s owner, are not getting a good night’s sleep.

For the sake of a dog. Who could sleep comfortably anywhere.

Sorry, I’m a dog owner. But it’s really beyond pathetic to be pandering to a dog in this way.

And that’s putting aside the wet dog feet, fur and smell, which is just beyond grim on a bed.

Reminder again on the side point - the dog can actually sleep anywhere.

rwalker · 22/12/2021 17:55

Couldn't think of anything worse then having a dog with its bare hoop on my bedding

muddyford · 22/12/2021 17:58

My dogs aren't allowed in the bedroom, let alone on the bed. I am more grossed out by cats walking about on kitchen worktops after being outside or using their litter trays.

HollowTalk · 22/12/2021 17:59

Is the dog on the bed when you have sex?

SlashBeef · 22/12/2021 18:00

🤢 really grim. Yanbu
I don't share beds with dogs. That would need to stop or I'd be off OP!

Overtime2019 · 22/12/2021 18:12

My two dogs sleep with me I have one at the bottom of my bed and my smaller dogs has to sleep right beside me or she doesn’t settle at all

beenthereboughtthetshirt · 22/12/2021 18:28

@HollowTalk

Is the dog on the bed when you have sex?
i don't know who's being more voyeuristic here..you or the dog? Xmas Grin
nosleepgang4life · 22/12/2021 18:31

The thing is he can't kick the dog out some nights and not others.

Our staffy sleeps with us too 😆 they are super cuddly pack animals. I change sheets really often as she is a bit gross. It's a bit of an intimacy killer though I must admit.

But the dog is his baby and you probably shouldn't go meddling with that in my opinion.

nosleepgang4life · 22/12/2021 18:33

@WiddlinDiddlin I could have written your post.

Our staffy arrived 7 years ago, our baby 10 months ago... and our new superking bed arrived last week Grin

JayAlfredPrufrock · 22/12/2021 18:33

Perfectly normal here.

Dog keeps me warm.

AtlasPine · 22/12/2021 18:38

Can’t you get a second hand one of those crib things which go against the bed. Line it with a low tog single duvet which smells of your dp, and put it on dp’s side of the bed.

Strawbz8988 · 22/12/2021 19:23

@WiddlinDiddlin

I didn't know that lol. He does go under the duvet. I always worry how he can breathe.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 22/12/2021 19:28

Get a nice warm basket for the dog next to the bed and make him sleep.in it.
Im always kicking the dogs off the bed

Onthetrain75 · 22/12/2021 19:31

As a pp said, the dog has learnt this behaviour so it’s not his fault. He can be retrained not to sleep on the bed but this needs to be done kindly and consistently as it’s your boyfriend that has caused this. Also he will need it to be permanent - so if you are not there it’s really important he doesn’t let the dog on again as this will be very confusing for the dog. Please get some advice on how to do this. Do not just shut the dog downstairs one night - he will not understand and is likely to get distressed which will also upset your boyfriend. You could bring the dogs bed up to the room and put it by the bed to start with, or use a big crate next to the bed so that he is near you but not on the bed. The key is to reward the behaviour you want and be consistent. Good luck. And how great that your boyfriend is a dog lover.

stillvicarinatutu · 22/12/2021 20:39

When single it's really easy to do this - I'm am and my little
Dog sleeps right next to me like a cuddly toy . My big bear sleeps on bed when scared, bonfire night or New Years fireworks....
It's just easy . I love sleeping with my pooches and I sleep better with them . If I ever meet anyone else dunno what I'd do !

emsmar · 22/12/2021 20:50

@beenthereboughtthetshirt

bunk beds?

You two downstairs, Fido up top.

😂😂😂😂😂
Yuledo · 22/12/2021 21:24

Do you do the deed in front of him? Doesn’t he get jealous?

Blackkitty · 22/12/2021 21:25

Yabu to not post a photo of dog

Queeen · 22/12/2021 21:51

Grim. How unhygienic. Yuck yuck yuck.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/12/2021 21:58

@Queeen

Grim. How unhygienic. Yuck yuck yuck.
Comments like this do make me laugh. Absolutely no input to the thread. Just here to cast judgment and childish comments and off they go again.
WiddlinDiddlin · 22/12/2021 23:55

[quote Strawbz8988]@WiddlinDiddlin

I didn't know that lol. He does go under the duvet. I always worry how he can breathe.[/quote]
Magic. Or through their arseholes or something.

My saluki is much the same only she's a lot bonier and has a horrible habit of elbowing me in the shins whilst burrowing. Or hogging the hot water bottle.

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/12/2021 23:59

@Queeen

Grim. How unhygienic. Yuck yuck yuck.
I'm so pleased you shared your opinion on the matter, had I been left in doubt I really don't know how I'd have carried on, the uncertainty, the just not knowing.. oh.. the trauma.

On a totally separate matter, a grumpy old man and his terrier once told me, as if imparting deep wisdom...

'There's two toypes of person in this world moi loverrrrr... there's them 'oo loves dawgs... an' then thurs barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsturrrrrrds..'

Turned out to be truer than I'd ever thought.. Grin

2bazookas · 23/12/2021 00:21

@AtlasPine

Can’t you get a second hand one of those crib things which go against the bed. Line it with a low tog single duvet which smells of your dp, and put it on dp’s side of the bed.
Sounds a bit uncomfy, unless he's a dwarf how's he going to fit in a crib?