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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

His dog hogging the bed

151 replies

Strawbz8988 · 22/12/2021 14:13

I stay at my boyfriends a few nights a week. I absolutely love his staffy. He's a rescue. Well behaved. I often walk him and genuinely love the dog. But he shares the bed with my boyfriend. When I'm there as you can imagine it's a little crowded. He's a solid heavy dog and when he's laid on the bottom you can't move your feet or the duvet. If he's in between us we can't roll over. I rarely can fully lie properly with my boyfriend when we are asleep. I sometimes am hugging him and then my legs and stomach is behind the dog. He also gives you a heart attack leaping back up again if he's got down for whatever reason.

My boyfriend finds it abit irritating himself and has made comments about him taking over.

I feel like I could sleep so much better if I could move where I wanted to be. I wake up with dead legs and achy arms.

Last night we were cuddled up and the dog was laying somewhere else. I heard his feet coming towards the bed and felt myself thinking oh here we go. He was in between both of our legs all night and then ended up on the bottom.of the duvet. My boyfriend was saying how rubbish he slept again.

Just wondered if this is common? I sometimes feel abit grossed out too if he's been out In damp weather and been for a poo and then his wet dog smell is allover the bed.

Hoping my boyfriend will encourage him.to sleep in the bed next to the bed. But I respect that I'm the newbie.

OP posts:
OldWivesTale · 23/12/2021 00:27

Get a super king size bed?

AutumnWinterSpring · 23/12/2021 00:41

👏🏼

Bigger bed or get a timed heated blanket & a swish new bed for the pup.

I have two dogs. One sleeps at the foot of the bed but tries to creep up. The fluffy one prefers his own bed. I wouldn’t change it.

To those asking about sex, no, we don’t DTD with a dog on the bed. Bit weird.

honeyytoast · 23/12/2021 00:46

I personally would not be able to put up with that

Justgorgeous · 23/12/2021 00:59

I wouldn’t stay! I like dogs but I couldn’t deal with that !

PhoenixIsFlying · 23/12/2021 01:06

My staff sleeps in bed with me. She spent 6 months in a cold dark kennel before coming to me. I love her to bits. All she gives is pure love. She comes first and no one could persuade me to move her. It's her bed too and has been for the past 8 years. I just put my feet either side of her belly so I can still stretch out.

Lammysaurus · 23/12/2021 01:08

Since your bf has been fine with this for years and is now having trouble sleeping, I'm guessing the bed's just too small for two people and a dog, but OK(ish) for one and a dog.

Is there a couch your bf could sleep on?

Flaxmeadow · 23/12/2021 01:11

Gross. This is so unhygienic. Dogs have parasites, diseases, they are not clean at all!

Itisileclair · 23/12/2021 01:27

Just don't stay over. I wouldn't sleep somewhere dirty and uncomfortable where I got dead limbs etc. That's a really poor quality experience.

If that means in the end not continuing the relationship, well, that's something to consider. But surely the starting point for any discussion should be that you're not sleeping in a smelly bed.

GrannyBattleaxe · 23/12/2021 05:54

We have an English Pointer who would adore to sleep cozily in bed with us, but here dogs don’t go upstairs, rescue or otherwise. You need to communicate, sleep is very important and there may need to be compromises. What happens when he sleeps at yours? Would that work better as the dig wouldn’t be used to the bed so would more easily stay in it’s bed?

mycatisannoying · 23/12/2021 06:32

Can I come in too? Grin
I think you, your boyfriend and the naughty Staffo all sound lovely!

mycatisannoying · 23/12/2021 06:34

@AllThingsServeTheBeam

Mine gets on the bed during the night but if he's in the way either me or dp kick him off. We have 3 cats and they sometimes join us too. (Can't shut them anywhere or I won't have any carpets left)
Cats are such knobheads. Mine was climbing on my head at 6am Grin My dog is an angel by comparison!
Ragwort · 23/12/2021 06:41

Just don't stay over, agree with a PP it's a bit pathetic that you are so desperate to have this man as a boyfriend that you will accept a bad nights sleep as part of 'the deal'.

TicTacHoh · 23/12/2021 06:44

Yuk, run

GlamorousHeifer · 23/12/2021 07:11

Gross. This is so unhygienic. Dogs have parasites, diseases, they are not clean at all
Oh grow up, funeral homes are not exactly overflowing with people that have died from diseases caught by having a dog in bed with them are they? If you don't like it don't do it but this ridiculous level of fear that everything is dirty is pathetic.

ThinWomansBrain · 23/12/2021 07:15

Dog is probably fairly pissed off with you staying over and taking his space in the bed. Be more considerate - stay at home.

alwayswrighty · 23/12/2021 07:47

Sorry, we're on the dogs side.

alwayswrighty · 23/12/2021 07:48

So good it posted the pic twice Grin

rainbowandglitter · 23/12/2021 08:06

That's grim. You couldn't pay me to share a bed with a dog (and I have dogs).

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 23/12/2021 08:11

@rainbowandglitter

That's grim. You couldn't pay me to share a bed with a dog (and I have dogs).
Who offered payment?
Darbs76 · 23/12/2021 08:31

My dogs sleeps on the bed, can’t just change it as someone comes along who doesn’t like it.

Blackkitty · 23/12/2021 11:53

My staffie sometimes sleeps on my bed but I try and keep her on top of the covers, but usually wake up with her having burrowed her way under the covers.. lol. More to the point, staffies are renowned for their love of people and comfort. That’s why they don’t do well in kennels. Get a bigger bed if possible.

Gretaburley · 23/12/2021 12:24

My dog slept happily in the kitchen for 3 years.
Then we moved house and she was unsettled. Dh let her into the bedroom and that was it.
I hate it but she's 8 now and so I won't be changing her routine. It's our own fault.
Next dog stays out though.

Ragwort · 23/12/2021 13:32

Did you not say something the first time you stayed over ... I can't imagine any situation where I would agree to getting into bed with a man ...and a dog Hmm.

Squirrelblanket · 23/12/2021 13:55

Urghhhhhhhh. I would LTB.

ufucoffee · 23/12/2021 15:40

I think letting a dog sleeping in your bed is rank. Not the dogs fault though, tell your boyfriend OP and if he won't put the dog out you have no choice but to dump him.