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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why would you pretend to be poor?

188 replies

Sndhehjzugwvs · 22/12/2021 10:14

Someone recently disclosed to us their annual income. This was done very intentionally to make a point that they were struggling financially... This worried and concerned us.

We have been head scratching as to why they told us this because they absolutely know we do not have spare funds given our income.

Fast forward a couple of months and we find out that they have released very high six figure sum towards a business venture.

Why do some people play the poverty card when they are clearly anything but poor? Sadly, I bet we are not alone in knowing people like this.

We cannot fathom the reason for this disclosure. To be honest, we found it a bit sickening given the concern it caused us when in fact they are clearly more than ok financially. It is true: there is nowt so strange as folk!

We have some family members who are genuinely struggling financially and this false plea of poverty is just horrible when we know the reality of people who ARE struggling.

Why on earth do people not think before causing others unnecessary worry!

Wishing all a peaceful Christmas and a lighter, smile-filled 2022.

OP posts:
SilverHairedCat · 22/12/2021 10:16

Embarrassment - especially if you aren't a high earner yourselves, so not wanting to look out of place with you.

Wanting to hide it so no one asks them for money.

Cultural, family traditions, known to be a liar, you name it. Lots of reasons.

Shiningpath · 22/12/2021 10:18

Income is different from capital.

Porcupineintherough · 22/12/2021 10:18

Maybe they thought you were about to ask them for a loan and wanted to stop you in your tracks? Or is there something happening that the could be reasonably be expected to pay for that they want to get put of? Or maybe their income is low but they had a nest egg which theyve now invested?

Ionlydomassiveones · 22/12/2021 10:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

SummerHouse · 22/12/2021 10:20

I would just assume they are cash poor because of this big commitment they made.

ApolloandDaphne · 22/12/2021 10:20

Is it possible this capital was tied up in such a way that they could not access it for day to day living expenses?

Cas112 · 22/12/2021 10:20

Maybe because their income is nothing to do with you?

Also people tend to try take advantage of people with more money so maybe they are wary

oftenbaffled · 22/12/2021 10:23

But their income could be low

And their savings for this business venture is not income or disposeable to them. It’s towards their job to increase their income

middleager · 22/12/2021 10:24

Jarvis Cocker said it best: "because you think that poor is cool."

Some people with decent incomes - and I see it on here all the time - like to plead poverty when they are comfortably off! Maybe to fit in/pretend they are "one of us."

Aprilx · 22/12/2021 10:26

Their annual income and whether they have any capital are two completely separate things though. Confused

I don’t know why they would tell you their income anyway, but a low annual income does not mean that they don’t have capital.

LivingOnAnIsland · 22/12/2021 10:26

@Ionlydomassiveones

They’re tight. The poor income figure the quoted was what they allow themselves to live on so they can invest the rest and leach off others. I know a couple who do this, they continually plead poverty and people feel sorry for them meanwhile they’re siphoning off most of their earnings to invest in land.
This - they are mean and don't want to share their money.
RandomLondoner · 22/12/2021 10:27

If someone lives on 20K a year, they have a low income. If the income comes from 500K invested, they still have a low income.

IncessantNameChanger · 22/12/2021 10:28

I know two people who have lots of money but plead poverty. One was because they didnt want to look out of place at uni as a student. The other seemed to be fitting in with with a neighbour who lived in poverty. Both had no lights on, no heating, cheapest shopping possibly. But the neighbour who was genuinely in poverty moved to better their circumstances. The other person still has no lights on or heating so if it was make it seem they was also in poverty, it's weird it didnt stop.

People are strange. I think it's about not wanting people to come to you for help sometimes.

Orreries · 22/12/2021 10:29

@Aprilx

Their annual income and whether they have any capital are two completely separate things though. Confused

I don’t know why they would tell you their income anyway, but a low annual income does not mean that they don’t have capital.

This.

And also, OP, they presumably didn't realise they were causing you such 'unnecessary worry' and 'concern' -- I can't imagine that most people would think that their income would cause anyone else such a strong reaction.

Canigooutyet · 22/12/2021 10:33

I down play my financial worth. Learned a long time ago that people enjoy spending your money.
If I see people are genuinely struggling, not just saying so, I help out.

Businesses venture money could have come from anywhere in the months since you last spoke. Inheritance, loan, lottery win, gambling, someone else repaying a loan etc.

MrsLarry · 22/12/2021 11:08

Maybe because none of it has anything to do with you. Lots of people in business seem like they have a lot of money, but in fact they're not actually cash rich.

Original poster
Sndhehjzugwvs · 22/12/2021 11:23

It wouldn’t have anything to do with us but for the fact we were specifically told their income.

To the question of why telling us the figure would cause worry and concern: the figure is very low: the mere fact of telling us this is our income got us worried as we had rather assumed their income was more and whilst we expected that they did have an amount of capital, we are flabbergasted at how much capital they were able to release from existing resources. Mentioning the income in the way they did had the implication: help we are struggling. As we have no spare funds, this caused us anxiety. Nobody likes to think of people struggling.

I guess my point is that we were wondering what on earth we could do to help them given the apparently parlous state of their finances when it is obvious that they were anything but parlous. We are so glad they are ok: should have made that clear but we do wonder why they were at pains to tell us their income when it is and never has been any of our business?

It is all a bit strange since they have always been very close mouthed re finances.

OP posts:
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 22/12/2021 11:25

@MrsLarry

Maybe you should read the first line of the OP again. These people are making it OP’s business.

I hate this type of person, and the type of person that justifies it even more.

“Capital is different to income”

Yes I think we all know this. But how dare a person who makes a choice to not liquidate assets compare themselves to a person living in literal poverty? The single mum who struggles to heat the house and feed the kids isn’t the same as the couple who made a choice to invest 80% of their income and now find themselves short of pennies at the end of the month.

It is crass. There was a person on a thread recently insisting that her and her husband who earned the better part of £200k a year were just existing - later posts she admitted she’s putting the max into pensions and other investments. Quite easy to change those things. But poor people can’t cut back anywhere to improve quality of life

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 22/12/2021 11:30

I prefer people to think i am doing just about ok. I have a thriving business, and we jointly have a very high income,but I certainly wouldnt want my customers knowing that. I wouldn’t want to alienate anyone for sure.

Merryoldgoat · 22/12/2021 11:39

Why wouldn’t you ask them? If someone was close enough to me disclose such personal information I’d be able to say ‘what? You told us you were broke last week - what’s going on?’

But I accept I might be an outlier…

fourminutestosavetheworld · 22/12/2021 11:46

Are they living off invested income? In which case it is entirely possible to receive a modest income as you need the reserves to last your lifetime, and interest is very low on investments at present too.

That would not prevent them from releasing a lump sum to invest if they thought it would provide a similar return.

Ultimately, you've jumped to conclusions and assumed the worst.

Pigeoninthehouse · 22/12/2021 11:49

I agree with pp it's because they're tight.
Used to work with woman like that, one of the higher earners in business, but would always plead poverty when asked for contributions towards whip rounds, or on work social events. But bought fancy cars outright for cash and other large purchases.
Her choice how she spends her money, but she expected other people to sub her choices.

Original poster
Sndhehjzugwvs · 22/12/2021 11:51

@ChiefWiggumsBoy thank you! Could not agree more.

And thanks to all for your insights and observations.

It is stomach churning to have genuine financial concerns. Been there…

It is an insult to those who are struggling to say, pity us when in fact, they are thankfully very much more than ok.

I have a family member in genuine need who I wish I could help in a meaningful way. To compare and contrast their respective situations is a real eye opener. I have never once heard my family member plead poverty.

Anyway, we shall never get to the bottom of this behaviour which is probably for the best!

To all who are struggling with health and/or financial issues, here’s to a healthy and prosperous New Year. Xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Sndhehjzugwvs · 22/12/2021 11:55

@Merryoldgoat

They didn’t tell us about the investment.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sndhehjzugwvs · 22/12/2021 11:56

@fourminutestosavetheworld. Nope. Have other income sources.

OP posts:
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